text;

[justabit]

if someone could theoretically make you anything in you could imagine, what would you ask for

"a way back home" or "ways to contact my family" are stupid ideas and off the table. im not a miracle worker im a scientist

i'm not making any weapons for anyone either so dont ask

beyond that its a free-for-all. making no promises that i'll actually take your suggestion to heart unless its a REALLY good idea or you've got a good bribe

otherwise, nothing's too crazy for me to figure out so really dream big here go nuts

Comments

[acerbic]

[ Well, since emotional things seem to be off the table... ]

A dragon. Either me into one or one of my own.

[justabit]

you want me to make you into a dragon

[well rick, you did tell them to dream big]

[tigermillionaire]

umm mmmm mmmm
oh!!

what about.....
a tiny sun in a jar!

[justabit]

that's definitely plausible

dunno why you'd want one when we're not exactly low on light sources around here though

Text

[ancientwinters]

I want a customisable espresso machine that makes the coffee itself, adds different flavours and does art in the foam. Let's not forget voice command.

But if we are going with anything a maid of some sort would be nice, and he or she should be attractive, intelligent, and skilled in some manner of self defence.

[ He said anything so Loki came up with the most ridiculous things possible.

Coffee and a personal android seem like good options in his opinion. ]

[justabit]

[an espresso machine and a hot maid, huh?]

jesus

if you needed to get laid that badly a simple "im sad and need to get laid" would've sufficed

[willnotbeintimidated]

Easy: something to fly.

You said no weapons, so not a fighter. But just something small and fast for recon in that case. Even better if it's got a hookup for an astromech droid.

[justabit]

so a jetpack then

[pleasereset]

A flying skateboard.

[justabit]

really? i asked for anything in your wildest dreams and you want a flying skateboard

video

[takeitslow]

Headphones. Videos that can work at, like, 100 times speed. Shoes that won't burn or melt apart from friction.

text;

[justabit]

i take it your gimmick is "running fast"

i dont need to make you a pair of headphones, those things practically grow on trees you can find them at grocery stores nowadays

i'm not gonna make you videos either but i can make a video player that can convert the framerate of normal videos so they work at 100 times the speed

the shoes are a little trickier and im gonna need you to sweeten the pot if you really want them

text;

[smoothaf]

Something that can make me invisible.

[justabit]

yeah i dont know why anyone'd need or want that power except creeps who get off on using it to hide in shower rooms or something so how about you try again

[kickbancaboose]

a robot designed specifically to give piggyback rides

but like a robot that doesn't talk because i don't have time to listen to bullshit about how it's tired or needs a break, i'm a busy man and i need full time piggyback ride action

or you know like an electric scooter or something i'm not picky

[justabit]

i like the way you think

except for the piggyback part, that's stupid. but a robot who can't talk is a good idea those fuckers will complain for hours about the purpose you've assigned to them

fucking whiny little shits


anyway ill make you either but you gotta give me something in return, i don't work for free

[i mean. it's your job to make shit for the crew members so technically you have to work for free rick but okay]

[accidentalqueen]

I thought all scientists believed they were miracle workers.

[ Or is it just people like Reed Richards. ]

[justabit]

"miracles" are just a concept dumbasses created to make themselves feel better when something unexplained happens

i look at the hard facts, i work around them. i create the shit that can't be explained.

it's not "miracles", it's science

text;

[armoured]

[Okay, he can do this. He can use the text function, he's been practising and trying to familiarise himself with it. It's just a shame his massive fingers aren't built for this sort of device.]

Idon;t want anyyhing making .But I can elp out withmaking thinfs other people want if uou need extra hands?

[Totally nailed it.]

[justabit]

yeah no

you can go ahead and collect resources for me but no one else is going to be part of the actual process of making inventions.

i don't need anyone fucking up my experiments by touching my equipment, that shit's saved for grandpa rick alone

text;

[sidecars]

Can I just get one goddamn jetpack
I've been waiting for them things to be invented since 1938 at a future expo
And here we are
On a space ship
in space no less
And I still don't have one strapped to my back!!

[justabit]

yeesh, someone's a little salty

protip: jetpacks don't work better in space than they do on earth. and it's kind of stupid wanting something to fly around with when you spend most of your time in a spaceship

but sure, i'll make you your jetpack if you can give me something i'd actually give a shit about in return

[niffin]

a cat to english translator

a bag of infinite holding

a collapsible multi person dragon saddle

portable water filters

colour changing hair dye

a mood ring/child leash combo

one of those little drinky birds

a list of better suggestions

[justabit]

[WELL ISN'T THIS PERSON A SMARTASS]

i'm going to make everything on that list just to spite you

text

[knaval]

can you make something that would make other things bigger
there are some nice tables around but they are far to small and i'm feeling like dabbling in interior design or whatever

[justabit]

just grab a big slab of wood and hot glue some thick planks onto that motherfucker

Text

[allyisun]

Honestly some proper coffee machines around here would be nice. Make my life easier.

[justabit]

shit, you're the second person to suggest a coffee machine and i thought the first guy was just pathetic and horny

doesn't this ship have any functioning machines? it's so "high tech" you'd think they'd make a fucking vending machine that just pumps out hot coffee on command