thisavrou | audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

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audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

[Solemn silence reigns for the first few moments of the broadcast. A shuffle of papers, a clearing of his throat -- or technically, a very good impersonation of it. There's no throat to clear. Anyway.]

Okay, so. I know there's been a lot of back and forth lately, kids. And I don't wanna add to the tension, but as long as we're ripping off band aids? I figure there's no time like the present.

[Another deep breath. Clearly, this is weighing heavily on the guy.]

I'm gonna say a few words that'll mean a lot to you guys. Bran. Oatmeal. Raisins. Words that should never even brush against the word muffin. And yet every Saturday, seems like those are the only muffins I see. I'm not gonna point fingers or anything. I dunno if the blame lies with the people taking the decent pastries or the persons allowing those ingredients to infect perfectly good muffins in the first place, but it's a tragic miscarriage of judgment and for the safety of the crew, I think it's important we all address the massive, raisin dotted elephant in the room.

I'm mean, jeez, guys. There are kids on this ship. What if they mistake them for chocolate chips? We're all responsible if we do nothing. Get it together, Moira.

[Another deep breath. He's said his peace. When he speaks again, it's as if a completely different person is grinning into the mic.]

And hey, as long as we're all here, feel free to air your various grievances too. Y'know, to save the Captains their bandwidth. Let it all out.

Threaded | Flat

[Oh, friend.]

spoken like someone who doesn't know how to carbo-load. things would be easier if you were just less picky

[See also; Ratchet doesn't like chocolate.]

If you disagree with what I bake, you're welcome to tell me in person. Or not eat them.

[He feels so attacked right now, okay.]

Admittedly I'm fine with anything that isn't the grey concoction that Ferelden's have the gall to call a stew. Though I personally prefer candied dates and peeled grapes to raisins, but you take what you can get I suppose.

[Anything that isn't Ferelden cooking or his own cooking. He's good. Okay he's picky, but beggars can't be choosers, he's learned. It's a hard lesson.]

Edited 2016-06-07 11:40 (UTC)

Hey, sometimes young, health-conscious women need a bran muffin now and again.

[Count on Sans to bring the levity.]

As for complaints... whose bright idea was it to room me with a bunch of dudes? It was one thing when the unicorn was here, we were half-and-half, but now it's just a total sausage fest and I'm stuck in the middle!

Oh come now. Do you have any idea what a miracle it is that we turn our huge storage of plain flour and rice and such into anything with flavor in the first place? I mean, you can't make chocolate muffins when we never have chocolate.

[a small, teenaged-looking young lady is pouting in mock-indignation at your post, sans.]

Have you ever tried to get a grown man to eat healthily? Sometimes you need to trick people into getting a little more fibre!

[ Loki has been laughing for like five minutes and he's still laughing by the time he gets it together long enough to make a phone call. ]

Honestly the oatmeal and raisins could be put to better use in cookie form.

[ And actually now he wants some. Thanks, Sans. You better bake them for Loki. ]

But I don't think you want to offer to be anyone's therapist. It's not worth it.