audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

[skelepun]

[Solemn silence reigns for the first few moments of the broadcast. A shuffle of papers, a clearing of his throat -- or technically, a very good impersonation of it. There's no throat to clear. Anyway.]

Okay, so. I know there's been a lot of back and forth lately, kids. And I don't wanna add to the tension, but as long as we're ripping off band aids? I figure there's no time like the present.

[Another deep breath. Clearly, this is weighing heavily on the guy.]

I'm gonna say a few words that'll mean a lot to you guys. Bran. Oatmeal. Raisins. Words that should never even brush against the word muffin. And yet every Saturday, seems like those are the only muffins I see. I'm not gonna point fingers or anything. I dunno if the blame lies with the people taking the decent pastries or the persons allowing those ingredients to infect perfectly good muffins in the first place, but it's a tragic miscarriage of judgment and for the safety of the crew, I think it's important we all address the massive, raisin dotted elephant in the room.

I'm mean, jeez, guys. There are kids on this ship. What if they mistake them for chocolate chips? We're all responsible if we do nothing. Get it together, Moira.

[Another deep breath. He's said his peace. When he speaks again, it's as if a completely different person is grinning into the mic.]

And hey, as long as we're all here, feel free to air your various grievances too. Y'know, to save the Captains their bandwidth. Let it all out.

Comments

TEXT; 1/??

[neveroutwrenched]

[Oh, friend.]

spoken like someone who doesn't know how to carbo-load. things would be easier if you were just less picky

[See also; Ratchet doesn't like chocolate.]

TEXT; 2/??

[neveroutwrenched]

wait okay, on the topic of food....groats? that needs to go. whoevers world those came from should be ashamed of themselves

TEXT; 3/??

[neveroutwrenched]

whoever decides what goes in the mixed fruit should be fired its never a good combo and I hate those little red things they put in there

TEXT; 4/??

[neveroutwrenched]

in general why so much earth food? a little variety would be nice

TEXT; 5/??

[neveroutwrenched]

i found a hair in the mac and cheese yesterday

TEXT; 6/??

[neveroutwrenched]

change of topic; I have a NUMBER of grievances about beds with roofs because BOY, are those an accident waiting to happen

or in progress

I'm speaking from personal experience here

TEXT; 7/??

[neveroutwrenched]

have you ever noticed how staticky the blanket they give us are?


i have.

TEXT; 8/??

[neveroutwrenched]

kids, everywhere.

TEXT; 9/??

[neveroutwrenched]

I do NOT like the wall color in the rec room

TEXT; 10/??

[neveroutwrenched]

all the uniforms are way too human-centric.

I've been wearing the same shoes for like, an actual year because the issued ones never fit

TEXT; 11/??

[neveroutwrenched]

its kind of chilly on the ship

I can't be the only one who thinks that

TEXT; 12/??

[neveroutwrenched]

I keep finding crumbs in my bed??


seriously. there are crumbs in it right now

TEXT; 13/??

[neveroutwrenched]

can we seriously get rid of that kitten tree already?

that thing gives me the creeps

TEXT; 14/??

[neveroutwrenched]

ive gotten lost on this ship...AT LEAST four times. they really need better signage

Especially if a wrong turn is going to land you in endless-hallway-of-dangerous-mystery-doors

TEXT; 15/??

[neveroutwrenched]

if we're going to keep accidentally abducting facetwins can we like

make them wear name tags or soemthing?

TEXT; 16/??

[neveroutwrenched]

Water pressure? Sucks.

TEXT; 17/??

[neveroutwrenched]

mero deck and moro deck sound WAY too similiar

new people are always showing up at the wrong room

drunk old people are always passing out in tehe wrong shower

its a mess

TEXT; 18/??

[neveroutwrenched]

the fact that the MIDs dont come off is not cool for a TON of reasons but just, you know, getting dressed? getting your sleeve caught on your stupid implanted wrist watch when you just want to go to bed is a problem i didnt think id ever have

but here we are

TEXT; 19/??

[neveroutwrenched]

milk.

TEXT; 20/??

[neveroutwrenched]

people mixing the forks with the spoons in the mess hall

TEXT; 21/??

[neveroutwrenched]

people 'send all'ing at 5am

TEXT; 22/??

[neveroutwrenched]

even aside from the kitten tree there are just, WAY too many cats on this ship



i don't want to hear any jokes about it

TEXT; 23/??

[neveroutwrenched]

let's not leave out the obvious: most of the humans on this ship are TACTLESS

[That's the nicest way he can think to put it.]

TEXT; 24/??

[neveroutwrenched]

I know this has been brought up before, by as just a plain petty complaint: the lack of a monetary system is weird. it's just weird. i mean, who still barters??

TEXT; 25/??

[neveroutwrenched]

people leaving their wet laundry in the machine.