thisavrou | audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

[Solemn silence reigns for the first few moments of the broadcast. A shuffle of papers, a clearing of his throat -- or technically, a very good impersonation of it. There's no throat to clear. Anyway.]

Okay, so. I know there's been a lot of back and forth lately, kids. And I don't wanna add to the tension, but as long as we're ripping off band aids? I figure there's no time like the present.

[Another deep breath. Clearly, this is weighing heavily on the guy.]

I'm gonna say a few words that'll mean a lot to you guys. Bran. Oatmeal. Raisins. Words that should never even brush against the word muffin. And yet every Saturday, seems like those are the only muffins I see. I'm not gonna point fingers or anything. I dunno if the blame lies with the people taking the decent pastries or the persons allowing those ingredients to infect perfectly good muffins in the first place, but it's a tragic miscarriage of judgment and for the safety of the crew, I think it's important we all address the massive, raisin dotted elephant in the room.

I'm mean, jeez, guys. There are kids on this ship. What if they mistake them for chocolate chips? We're all responsible if we do nothing. Get it together, Moira.

[Another deep breath. He's said his peace. When he speaks again, it's as if a completely different person is grinning into the mic.]

And hey, as long as we're all here, feel free to air your various grievances too. Y'know, to save the Captains their bandwidth. Let it all out.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[a small, teenaged-looking young lady is pouting in mock-indignation at your post, sans.]

Have you ever tried to get a grown man to eat healthily? Sometimes you need to trick people into getting a little more fibre!

[Well, it wouldn't be the first time. Still, he can't help stifling a laugh. Humans, man. They made the best faces sometimes.]

as a grown man on the receiving end of that treatment, i can tell ya that such deceits are unappreciated. just let us eat ourselves to death in peace.

[No video back...? Paz switches to text as well, trying to mirror for etiquette's sake. She hasn't really got the hang of these MIDs yet.]

I can't do that! It is not a question of whether you appreciate it or not, I have a job to do. Do you really think the Medical Team will be happy if staff are coming in malnourished?

And besides, what about the people that care about you? You are not doing them any favors by refusing to take care of yourself, are you?

[But etiquette doesn't mean she can't tear him off a strip, right?]

[Sometimes a guy wants to avoid the inevitable questions. You know how it is.]

yeesh, right to the heart of the matter, huh? you sound like my brother.

Well, your brother sounds like a very sensible man!

Food is what keeps the body alive, you can't just put any old trash in there. It is OK to have treats sometimes, but there are some things you can't not eat if you want to stay healthy!

[She knows not of The Great Papyrus - she's imagining a straight-laced doctorly type. Alas.]

[To be fair, Papyrus would probably be overjoyed by the association anyway.]

where does pie land on the health scale?

Edited 2016-06-16 22:31 (UTC)

It depends on the pie, I guess! You can make it healthier by using less sugar, and brown flour... Or thinner, crispier pastry? Or what about a savoury pie, with vegetables in it?

To be honest, I would rather make empanadas. It's easy to put anything in those! How about sweet potato and black beans?

[It's a good thing this conversation is taking place over text, as Sans is pretty sure his stomach would be rumbling. If, y'know, he had one.]

okay, your raisin enjoying hedonism aside, i get the feeling i might be able to get behind a sweet potato. how much sugar goes in it?

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