audio; a very important statement for the entire crew

[skelepun]

[Solemn silence reigns for the first few moments of the broadcast. A shuffle of papers, a clearing of his throat -- or technically, a very good impersonation of it. There's no throat to clear. Anyway.]

Okay, so. I know there's been a lot of back and forth lately, kids. And I don't wanna add to the tension, but as long as we're ripping off band aids? I figure there's no time like the present.

[Another deep breath. Clearly, this is weighing heavily on the guy.]

I'm gonna say a few words that'll mean a lot to you guys. Bran. Oatmeal. Raisins. Words that should never even brush against the word muffin. And yet every Saturday, seems like those are the only muffins I see. I'm not gonna point fingers or anything. I dunno if the blame lies with the people taking the decent pastries or the persons allowing those ingredients to infect perfectly good muffins in the first place, but it's a tragic miscarriage of judgment and for the safety of the crew, I think it's important we all address the massive, raisin dotted elephant in the room.

I'm mean, jeez, guys. There are kids on this ship. What if they mistake them for chocolate chips? We're all responsible if we do nothing. Get it together, Moira.

[Another deep breath. He's said his peace. When he speaks again, it's as if a completely different person is grinning into the mic.]

And hey, as long as we're all here, feel free to air your various grievances too. Y'know, to save the Captains their bandwidth. Let it all out.

Comments

[ventifact]

yeah i'm always invited to parties

[skelepun]

parties meaning enjoyable get-togethers with friends and loved ones or sitting at home getting an even part on your hair?

[ventifact]

i don't think i've ever parted my hair
so i guess i've never been to any kind of party actually
sarcasm doesn't come through well in text form

[skelepun]

well clearly we gotta change that. get you in your natural element.

what're your opinions on pinatas?

[ventifact]

i don't even know what a pinata is

[skelepun]

it's a paper animal humans beat with sticks until the insides come out.

nifty, huh?

[ventifact]

that sounds barbaric

[skelepun]

well, i did say human. ;)

[ventifact]

i mean that's fair
but still

[skelepun]

there're some more wholesome ways to have fun. human and non human. parties tend to go the wholesome route. they're actually pretty fun, with the right crowd.

[ventifact]

maybe i'll be invited to one some day then

[skelepun]

[Sans chuckles to himself before replying.]

oh, i'd bet on it. ;)