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[allyisun]

[Allison does her best to lock this post from any kids on board, but pretty drunk and mostly just squinting at people's icons to make her choices. Nico Robin and Peter Maximoff are definitely excluded. Just in case, she adds a disclaimer.]

THIS IS AN ADULT ONLY POST. IF U ARE UNDER 18 DO NOT READ.

ACTUALLY IF UR UNDER 20 DO NOT READ

OR 21?

okay but like shit is going down soon and it is absolutely imperative that I get laid

So I need someone to get laid with

OK?

Comments

VIDEO

[squadgoals]

[uwillregretthistomorrow.gif the post]

Uh huh.

Where are you, Allison? Are you at the bar? I'm coming to the bar.

[action] - hope this is ok?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[Oh god, this is great. J is grinning widely behind the bar counter when her post goes up. Even though she and Allison were now in better terms than before thanks to the hair dye episode, she's still not going pass a chance to laugh at her stupid drunken mishaps.

Leaning over the counter, she passes her another drink (it's on the house!) and types her a text with her own MID:]

getting that desperate?

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[allyisun]

No

Maybe

Why you askin?

Works for me!

[allyisun]

[As far as Allison can tell, J's major skills are mixing drinks and making fun of people. She disapproves of being the recipient of both skills.

She idly takes the drink, repeatedly refreshing her Worst Dating Add. She squints for a moment, then looks up at J, responding verbally to the text.]

Shut up. Yes. We might die in a few days.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

i died and you dont see me crying for a pity fuck.

[And that's mostly because she doesn't need to. She can do that without the network.]

[squadgoals]

[Will she dash if I say I'm dragging her drunk ass to a bed? Seems likely.]

I may have a prime lead on a laying suspect. I need you with me to collect intel.

[The suspect is you, laying in bed, with a pillow.]

text;

[sketchycharacter]

it's been a while since i was single enough to rely on this but i'm pretty sure going to the bar and declaring your intentions would work

good luck i'm rooting for you

[realitywarped]

Speaking as a person with more than a few regrets- you are going to regret this in the morning.

[Loki is feeling pretty smug though because hey, his person defrosted. Otherwise... yeah, he'd probably be about this desperate.]

text;

[arcreact]

[ You know who's not gonna judge you for drunken booty calling? TONY STARK. That said, this is very sloppily done. Please. ]

you should at least list your preferences, kid
don't slum just because the end of times is nigh

Text

[tearsinajar]

You think it's bad now wait until you're married.

[peridork]

I don't understand what you're requesting.

[HEY, SHE'S OLDER THAN 20. LIKE, A LOT OLDER. Totally allowed to be here.]

[Text]

[tearmeanewone]

[Congrats Allison, here's Liz.]

Where are you right now, Allison?

[...she asks because she's concerned Allison is going to make a poor choice when she doesn't know any better because that's not a sensitive subject for Elizabeth at all. Friends don't let friends make these kinds of mistakes if they can talk them out of it.]

text

[diamondslap]

My word.

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[skelepun]

so is this drink ten or eleven?

[That was usually where happy and buzzed took a sharp left turn down Questionable Choices Lane.]

[allyisun]

I'm not asking for a pity fuck, J!

Just... a fuck. [She leans grumpily on the bar and mutters.] Be nice for someone to give a fuck.

[It's not that nobody on the ship cares about her, they do, it's just that no-one's really been interested in her sexually. Is Zaid really the best she can do?]

[allyisun]

ok yeah I'm at the bar

text;

[allyisun]

Already at the bar theres no one here just J

thank tho

Text;

[allyisun]

Won't have long to regret it if we all die in a few days

just sayin

text;

[allyisun]

[Oh no, she didn't expect skill-testing questions when she made this post! Also she pretty much has the lowest standards...]

um like

a guy?? i guess???

Text

[allyisun]

i'd hope that if I was married i'd be able 2 get laid

[allyisun]

Um. Sex???

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[a_shadow]

You get points for being blunt, but you lose points for desperation. In the end you get 0 points.

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[tearsinajar]

[ This doesn't come until some time later because of ... reasons... ]

That's the thing, you will be able to get laid. Your marriage wouldn't turn out like mine, in estrangement. I just meant that most people who are married tease the people who aren't and joke that the sex gets stale and it ends up being the last thing on your mind.

Especially when kids come into the picture. Or you work opposite shifts. Then sex becomes a scheduled uh event.

Again, your marriage wouldn't go down the path mine did. It's all different.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[Too bad that J's pretty weak on empathy department. She's be so laughing her ass of if she had her voice. So instead she shakes her head in amusement and reads the responses that Allison's network post has gotten. ]

thats what it reads to me. and to everyone else apparently.
the guy here's right though. you should at least list some preferences. now you just look needy and sad

[Text]

[allyisun]

[Oh no it's Liz. She's suddenly sweating heavily here and feeling embarrassed despite all the booze.]

Um. The bar?