Memoir One ✓ video

[hawkethat]

[The video opens on the face of a handsome man in possession of a truly magnificent beard. He hesitates for a brief second until he's sure the device is working, then flashes a charming grin.]

This is a really strange question, but I'm going to ask it anyway:

Does anyone have any ideas about the best way to befriend oneself? Multiple attempts at striking up a friendly conversation have ended in vomit and tears, so I'm kind of at a loss.

I warned you not to try and pick me up after I’d been drinking. I hope when you go to the bar you don’t literally pick anyone up.

...And there were no tears.

[The camera shifts to as the man looks at a thin woman with dark hair and light eyes, playing idly with her TAB. This is Marian Hawke as many know her. Unlike the man who’s grinning, she mostly looks like she’s bewildered at how she got into this situation and how best to get out of it. Despite the different expressions, however, the resemblance between them is distinct.]

Normally I'd take them out for a few drinks and then maybe stumble over to a brothel, but that seems a little...eh, I dunno, is "incestuous" the right word, here? Or would "masturbatory" be more appropriate?

“Masturbatory”, definitely.

[Is the lady Hawke’s vote.]

Let’s not disrespect biology by going with "incestuous". Though you can buy me another drink all the same. I never turn down a gift.

Hmm...I was leaning that way too, honestly. Still, awkward.

[Here he pauses again to flash another charming grin at the TAB, and also wink conspiratorially.]

Thanks in advance for any advice!

Oh, I can’t wait to see what the people come up with. Hopefully it involves more drinking.

[She just… shakes her head and glances at the sky, wondering what she did to deserve this.]

Comments

[neverheardofhim]

[What a sight to behold. After everything he's dealt with between the two of them (or rather, heard Marian spew -- Garrett seemed to be the better mannered of the two, but whether he was just playing nice was anyone's guess), it seemed a miracle to catch them in the same frame together.]

[Not to mention altogether hilarious.]

[Enjoy that raucous laugh, Garrett. It's going to last a good five minutes. Probably.]

Find something in common. Any asshole brothers or, hell, drunken brothel escapades you two might have gone through? [A pause.] I expect any and all answers to be filmed. For research purposes.

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[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah, my vote is always for 'more drinking.'

Especially when it comes to 'knowing oneself.'

[tearmeanewone]

[Next thing you know, she'll be looking at two quantum redheads.]

I'm going to be the voice of dissent here and suggest that more drinking will produce the same result, with potential for increasingly worse results.

I think you may be assuming that you have everything in common with one another-- aside from the... obvious difference. But the two of you have most likely had some separate experiences and developed as people differently. So I wouldn't treat it as 'getting to know yourself' at all. Just... an extremely similar person.

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[tearsinajar]

[ PURSING LIPS.............

Masturbatory.

Thinking. Processing.

Nadda.

Moments later: ]

Nope. I'm at a loss.

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[sketchycharacter]

Blow something up together. It's great for bonding.

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[squadgoals]

I was in a very similar situation, and tried just about everything — nothing worked.

[beat;]

Then it turned out she was my clone, raised to hate, kill, and replace me. Didn't take it so hard, after that.

[There's a moment of pause as she frowns, bemused in reflection, before her expression lightens.] Anyway. How about drinks, and truth or dare? The only stipulation being that none of the dares can involve touching each other.

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[redshitlord]

... What's 'masturbatory' even mean, man?

[HI HAWKES.]

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[nicearsenal]

Um... little bit lost here. Why are we talking about incest and masturbation? I mean, I can understand the whole masturbation angle if we're talking self love but I'm not sure what that's got to do with anything.

[Explain please, you guys are pretty but also weird. Pretty weird.]

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[flynnitomite]

I don't entirely understand what's going on here but it sounds a bit kinky.

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[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Honestly if I were you I'd be more careful with drinking more. She has awful habit of throwing up on others and then falling asleep.

Oh, she drools and snores too.