Memoir One ✓ video

[hawkethat]

[The video opens on the face of a handsome man in possession of a truly magnificent beard. He hesitates for a brief second until he's sure the device is working, then flashes a charming grin.]

This is a really strange question, but I'm going to ask it anyway:

Does anyone have any ideas about the best way to befriend oneself? Multiple attempts at striking up a friendly conversation have ended in vomit and tears, so I'm kind of at a loss.

I warned you not to try and pick me up after I’d been drinking. I hope when you go to the bar you don’t literally pick anyone up.

...And there were no tears.

[The camera shifts to as the man looks at a thin woman with dark hair and light eyes, playing idly with her TAB. This is Marian Hawke as many know her. Unlike the man who’s grinning, she mostly looks like she’s bewildered at how she got into this situation and how best to get out of it. Despite the different expressions, however, the resemblance between them is distinct.]

Normally I'd take them out for a few drinks and then maybe stumble over to a brothel, but that seems a little...eh, I dunno, is "incestuous" the right word, here? Or would "masturbatory" be more appropriate?

“Masturbatory”, definitely.

[Is the lady Hawke’s vote.]

Let’s not disrespect biology by going with "incestuous". Though you can buy me another drink all the same. I never turn down a gift.

Hmm...I was leaning that way too, honestly. Still, awkward.

[Here he pauses again to flash another charming grin at the TAB, and also wink conspiratorially.]

Thanks in advance for any advice!

Oh, I can’t wait to see what the people come up with. Hopefully it involves more drinking.

[She just… shakes her head and glances at the sky, wondering what she did to deserve this.]

Comments

[otiosity]

[WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. YOU'RE A TERRIBLE MOTHER.

So she's just gonna face palm and down a shot. IS THAT AN ANSWER.]

[tearsinajar]

Are you drinking right now? Alone?

[ Giving her a tone, you bet she is. ]

[otiosity]

No.

He's here.

...Though, that might count as alone if you want to think about it far too hard.

[Taking Garrett's TAB and using to charge another drink before putting it back to the side.]

[tearsinajar]

That's sad. You should've called me to drink with you. I'm a little hurt right now, Hawke.

[otiosity]

I wanted to spare you from having to witness this horrible interaction.

[tearsinajar]

I've seen and been apart of a lot worse, this is kittens' play. Are we charging the drinks to his TAB?

[otiosity]

Most definitely. I'm taking it upon myself to be an adult and saving for our house and things in a house that cost money!

[tearsinajar]

Oh, adulting. Almost forgot about that. So where am I going?

[otiosity]

Some hole in the wall in the fifth district. Find the dirtiest street, take a left and then a right and there you are at this dive. Though I really have to warn you against it. There's going to be sarcastic and highly personal jabs, awkward references to long passed family members, and probably some vomit.

[tearsinajar]

[ A deep breath, she's already on the move. ]

Awkward references to passed family members, I can deal with that. As for the vomit, well, it's a good thing you don't have long hair. And those jabbing remarks, I'll sip to.

[otiosity]

I'm not sure how much I can overstate how awkward it's going to be! We have a lot of dead family.

Oh well, mostly I was hoping you'd be revolted and not show up but you medical types can stomach far too much for your own good.

[tearsinajar]

And I've been told I'm a great listener and sympathizer. You'll be in good hands.

I never used to be a medical type, believe it or not.

[otiosity]

I hope to not even be coherent in an hour so I'd best hurry. Or just call the whole thing off.

[tearsinajar]

You aren't getting out of this, stop trying.

[otiosity]

[She's just going to drop her head to the bar with a pronounced "THUD".]