Memoir One ✓ video

[hawkethat]

[The video opens on the face of a handsome man in possession of a truly magnificent beard. He hesitates for a brief second until he's sure the device is working, then flashes a charming grin.]

This is a really strange question, but I'm going to ask it anyway:

Does anyone have any ideas about the best way to befriend oneself? Multiple attempts at striking up a friendly conversation have ended in vomit and tears, so I'm kind of at a loss.

I warned you not to try and pick me up after I’d been drinking. I hope when you go to the bar you don’t literally pick anyone up.

...And there were no tears.

[The camera shifts to as the man looks at a thin woman with dark hair and light eyes, playing idly with her TAB. This is Marian Hawke as many know her. Unlike the man who’s grinning, she mostly looks like she’s bewildered at how she got into this situation and how best to get out of it. Despite the different expressions, however, the resemblance between them is distinct.]

Normally I'd take them out for a few drinks and then maybe stumble over to a brothel, but that seems a little...eh, I dunno, is "incestuous" the right word, here? Or would "masturbatory" be more appropriate?

“Masturbatory”, definitely.

[Is the lady Hawke’s vote.]

Let’s not disrespect biology by going with "incestuous". Though you can buy me another drink all the same. I never turn down a gift.

Hmm...I was leaning that way too, honestly. Still, awkward.

[Here he pauses again to flash another charming grin at the TAB, and also wink conspiratorially.]

Thanks in advance for any advice!

Oh, I can’t wait to see what the people come up with. Hopefully it involves more drinking.

[She just… shakes her head and glances at the sky, wondering what she did to deserve this.]

Comments

[hawkethat]

[He grins outright at that remark.]

Oh? Have you just used up your flattery quota for the foreseeable future on me? I almost hate to say it, but...I'm flattered.

[Hahaha, what a witty jackass. Please don't mind him, Elena. :'D]

And, okay, I'll bite. Female leg hair needs to be maintained? This is the first I've heard of it.

[What a joy to be from a medieval fantasy land of dragons and sorcery, where shaving is done pretty much exclusively by men who don't like maintaining facial hair.]

[tearsinajar]

For the year? Yes, yes I did. Everyone gets at least 15ml of flattery. Looks like you're out.

It doesn't need to be. It's by choice. Same with underarm hair and-- well-- any kind of hair.

[ This is going to make for an interesting topic while they enjoy some drinks. ]

Hold that thought for when I get there.

[hawkethat]

I have no idea how much that is, but somehow I'm getting the feeling it's not a lot.

[This is going to be a very interesting topic!]

Okay; my thought and I are waiting with baited breath for your arrival.

[tearsinajar]

Think of it like a sprinkle of fairydust.

[ Definitely an interesting topic! One they should discuss over drinks, and as a means of introductions. ]

I'm not far. You might want to give Hawke a nudge, she didn't respond to my last message so I can only assume she's already out for the count. Which is pretty disgraceful— you can tell her I said that, too.

[hawkethat]

[Her clarification causes him to laugh.]

That really isn't a lot.

[And at her request, he glances over at his counterpart to assess her state of being. She looks very comfortable with her head down on the bar for the moment, so he'll actually decline to go through with the suggested nudge.]

I think she's resting her eyes. Or shoring up energy for the next round. I'll let you tell her yourself when you get here.

[tearsinajar]

[ Elena sighs. Heavily. ]

I knew that woman couldn't hold her alcohol. Looks like it's just you and me, bub.