Video

[saveyourserpent]

[If one were to look closely at the video feed, they might notice some blond stubble on the man's face and a look of discomfort.]

So what do I have to do to get a razor around here?

[He's about to turn the video off, but he seems to change his mind at the last second.]

It's sort of an emergency.

Thanks.

Comments

Video

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

An emergency. Really?

[J looks very amused, despite that she gets his panic.]

Re: Video

[saveyourserpent]

Yes, an emergency. I've already got enough to deal with.

[He certainly doesn't look amused in return.]

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Oh. You poor, poor thing. [she laughs. funny thing, he happens to be talking with ship's official makeup artist. she has all the razors.]

How will you ever survive.

[saveyourserpent]

[Scandalous. He has no idea he's talking to the one holding out with the razors.]

With a hell of a lot of anger, I suppose. And constant complaints about my itchy face. No one in the vicinity will be able to accomplish anything.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Ah, so your tragedy will become ours? In that case I could borrow you a pair of tweezers so that you could pluck out each hair one by one.

[ersatzeverything]

Sexual favors. [Deacon deadpans.]

No, I have no idea. There's gotta be a quartermaster or concessionary for toiletries somewhere though, right? I mean, I've seen people who have been living here for months and have managed to keep their baby smooth shaven cheeks.

[saveyourserpent]

Hilarious. As much of an emergency as it is, I don't think I'll resort to that just yet.

Hmmmm. I will find this purveyor of razors and I will make them give up their stash.

[ersatzeverything]

I know. I'm a riot.

If you find out where they're stashed, share the knowledge.

[saveyourserpent]

Got this whole comedy routine, do you?

Gladly. I won't let this secret remain a secret if I've got anything to say about it.

[ersatzeverything]

Awesome. You go break through the veil of deception and find that hidden razor stash, pal. Be a hero to all new arrivals who grow hair.

video;

[cardboard_boss]

Thinking you might grow a beard and look like me even more?

[Because Snake was rather amused at Liquid's predicament right now.]

Re: video;

[saveyourserpent]

That's only part of the problem. I don't know how you people can stand it.

[Liquid was, of course, the exact opposite of amused.]

[cardboard_boss]

I've just got used to it over the years. [What would he look like without a beard? That would just be weird.]

I'd feel naked without my beard. Keeps my face warm.

[saveyourserpent]

Well, I got used to not having one, and I'd really like to keep that up!

[He couldn't even stand having Ocelot's mustache, but removing it had unfortunately not been an option.]

[cardboard_boss]

Afraid it'll affect your pretty boy image too much? [Because Venom was only lightly teasing, yet it felt good for all those times Eli had come at him with a knife. You could say this was a comeback.]

[video]

[notyoursupergirl]

[Hi buuuuuuddy. You sick of blondes teasing you yet? ]

Aw, look at you though! You're all scruffy and cute.

Re: [video]

[saveyourserpent]

[Ughhhhhh. He can already feel the headache.]

I am not cute.

[notyoursupergirl]

[ Yeah, but now he's not worried about his cute, scruffy beard. See? Helping. ]

All right, you're adorable. What do you look like with a beard? I don't know if manly and rugged would work for you.

[saveyourserpent]

[IT IS SO NOT CUTE.]

Terrible. It doesn't work for me and I'm really hoping it won't get anywhere near that point.

video

[noitatnacni]

Oh no, overgrown facial hair. Someone call in the Justice League.

[The sarcasm is strong with this one.]

I'm fourteen, and even I think that's being way overdramatic.

Re: video

[saveyourserpent]

If this "Justice League" has what I want, then by all means, call them.

No such thing as overdramatic, though. Nice try.

Re: video

[noitatnacni]

[...Way to miss the point, guy.]

I'm pretty sure teenagers are the authority on ramped-up drama. And facial hair unexpectedly growing out of control, for that matter. But shouldn't that stuff just be in the bathrooms?

[Where it would make sense to keep it. You know. Logic.]

Re: video

[saveyourserpent]

No, it's expectedly growing out of control, I just normally have the means to get rid of it. [The Snake family facial hair. One of the many banes of his existence.]

I... didn't see any when I looked. [Hey. He tried.]

[swaddledog]

A sharp knife would probably work.

[saveyourserpent]

Sure would, if I had one. Found myself pretty knifeless when I showed up here and I haven't tracked down a new one yet.