Video

[saveyourserpent]

[If one were to look closely at the video feed, they might notice some blond stubble on the man's face and a look of discomfort.]

So what do I have to do to get a razor around here?

[He's about to turn the video off, but he seems to change his mind at the last second.]

It's sort of an emergency.

Thanks.

Comments

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Oh. You poor, poor thing. [she laughs. funny thing, he happens to be talking with ship's official makeup artist. she has all the razors.]

How will you ever survive.

[saveyourserpent]

[Scandalous. He has no idea he's talking to the one holding out with the razors.]

With a hell of a lot of anger, I suppose. And constant complaints about my itchy face. No one in the vicinity will be able to accomplish anything.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Ah, so your tragedy will become ours? In that case I could borrow you a pair of tweezers so that you could pluck out each hair one by one.

[saveyourserpent]

I'll pass. That'd just make everything worse. I've been meaning to find myself a knife, though, maybe I'll get one of those and kill two birds with one really sharp thing.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

A knife? That's pretty drastic decision if you're clumsy enough not to be trusted with a tweezers.

[saveyourserpent]

I'm not even remotely clumsy. I know knives like the back of my hand. Tweezers are just way too tedious.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Well, I hope you'll post a picture of your face when you're done, then. Just so that we can see how badly you've managed to scar it.

[saveyourserpent]

I don't think you understand just how good at knives I am. Now, ideally I'd rather have something made for the purpose, but if I can't get that? I've got options.

[Annoying options, but options nonetheless.]

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

If that's really true then you absolutely should post a picture! Maybe you could become ship's new makeup artist?

[saveyourserpent]

I'm good at knives, not makeup. I've been trained in combat since I was a child, and knives were always my weapon of choice. Trust me, I'm not just all talk.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

You know there's more to it than just lipstick and mascara? That job also includes helping other crewmen with grooming by cutting their hair and shaving them.

[saveyourserpent]

I've got no interest in shaving anyone beyond myself. Have we got a bloody salon around here?

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Ah, well. Something like it yes.

[saveyourserpent]

I prefer to do things myself, but if that's where I've got to go, that's where I've got to go.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Good luck with that, then.

[He can find the ship's makeup artist's contact information from MID--- which only leads to her inbox.]

[saveyourserpent]

I don't need luck. I'll get this taken care of one way or another.

[He'll be checking that out for sure.]