Video

[saveyourserpent]

[If one were to look closely at the video feed, they might notice some blond stubble on the man's face and a look of discomfort.]

So what do I have to do to get a razor around here?

[He's about to turn the video off, but he seems to change his mind at the last second.]

It's sort of an emergency.

Thanks.

Comments

[ersatzeverything]

Sexual favors. [Deacon deadpans.]

No, I have no idea. There's gotta be a quartermaster or concessionary for toiletries somewhere though, right? I mean, I've seen people who have been living here for months and have managed to keep their baby smooth shaven cheeks.

[saveyourserpent]

Hilarious. As much of an emergency as it is, I don't think I'll resort to that just yet.

Hmmmm. I will find this purveyor of razors and I will make them give up their stash.

[ersatzeverything]

I know. I'm a riot.

If you find out where they're stashed, share the knowledge.

[saveyourserpent]

Got this whole comedy routine, do you?

Gladly. I won't let this secret remain a secret if I've got anything to say about it.

[ersatzeverything]

Awesome. You go break through the veil of deception and find that hidden razor stash, pal. Be a hero to all new arrivals who grow hair.

[saveyourserpent]

I'll see to it that no one will have to suffer what I have to suffer ever again.