audio; slightly backdated to an ungodly hour of the morning

[shashka]

Good morning.

[ the voice on the other end seems to have a vague Russian accent. ]

Since it seems to be a common theme lately, I have a question for everyone: What is the absolute strangest thing you've ever seen or experienced, either where you come from, or from here?

[ a pause ]

In the interest of good faith, I've got a story to share with you about mine. My first Commanding Officer had the unique ability to shoot electricity out of his hands. He was a real piece of work, [ no that was probably sharing too much ] but that's neither here or there. Anyways... he could shoot electricity out of his hands. Which you might or might not find out of the ordinary, but it wasn't quite the weirdest shit I've ever run up against.

[ but back to the story ] Anyways, he ended up getting killed by an enemy agent, much to the dismay of almost no one. But, even if his brain was gone, somehow his body was kept alive, almost out of sheer spite.

And twenty years later, he woke up. But he was on fire. And that fire... [ a pause as he looks for the right word ] zombie [ that was not the right word ] chased me and this other guy on a flaming unicorn.

And that was the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

[ but instead of it shutting off, his tone changes ever so slightly, as he seems to be talking to a person on the other end. ]

-So as you can see, I'm perfectly...

[ no. now it's shut off. ]

Comments

[nishizono]

high. you're high as fuck.

[ where is everyone getting their drugs lately, honestly? ]

weirdest thing i ever experienced though hm
i switched bodies with a girl a couple times
that was weird

[shashka]

I don't know what you're talking about. I was just proving a point.

[ because he's never been one to back down. and if someone were to insinuate he was drunk when he wasn't....

...well. the point was proven. ]

Was that here or in your dimension?

text

[mylawn]

You lost me at the unicorn.

text

[shashka]

Good. You followed along for most of it.

[ perhaps the good thing about being from the Metal Gear universe is describing anything will make you sound like you're a rambling drunk man. or at least the good thing in this moment. ]

In all likelihood it wasn't a unicorn but another psychic manifestation of the man on fire's anger.

[ because that makes so much more sense. ]

video;

[sketchycharacter]

I saw men turn into possessed flaming djinns in the middle of a lost city than everyone thought had been struck down by the wrath of gods centuries ago.

But I was tripping balls at the time so I'm not sure if that counts.

audio;

[shashka]

[ . . . ]

You know, I'll take it.

[ though that does beg the question... ]

Did someone drug you or was it self-inflicted?

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

Was the unicorn also on fire with the guy?

Weirdest thing I've seen is...a kid get absorbed into this...thing. And my partner come back from the dead over and over, but that got old fast.

voice;

[shashka]

Yes. Though, it was probably another psychic manifestation, if I had to guess.

[ ...this is completely legitimate. ]

Really? Just... out of the blue? Or did they have some sort of regenerative ability?

audio

[saveyourserpent]

Oh, I don't know if I could pick just one. Strange just seems to be something I'd run into on a regular basis, you know?

[A pause. He could mention how he got his interesting powers, but that's something best kept under his metaphorical hat for now.]

I've got to say, losing a year to a party on a planet of insect people is pretty up there.

audio

[shashka]

[ thankfully this is audio. otherwise, Liquid would definitely see Ocelot glance at his right hand... remove his glove, and then look at it again.

seriously... why would someone do that ]

Really.

I'd think that you could come up with something stranger than that.

[ maybe he wasn't at his best game because he cannot stop thinking about that arm thing. ]

Not Here

[prorenataa]

[ Just when he thought he might have someone he could work with in this shit show.

Somewhere, Adrien's device took it's second flight for the week. Remarkably it remained intact. ]

also not here

[shashka]

[ Adrien, it's all part of the master plan that everyone just can't see.

Well that, and his judgement goes out the window when he's with his best friend. there's a reason that he keeps mostly limited contact with him back home. ]

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

went to party that lasted literally a year. got high and slept with a robot.

[shashka]

someone else mentioned that.

[ ...and he's still sure that's not the strangest thing that guy's ever seen.

although... ]

What did the robot look like?

[ that sounds like there would be... a lot of chafing but. everyone's got their thing. he's not here to judge. ]

audio

[controllerbug]

You're welcome.

audio

[shashka]

[ he might have had a few drinks tonight, but there's something weirdly familiar about the way he's talking and that echo.

almost like... a gas mask.

But that means... ]

That was the responsibility of the 'third boy'.

[ but... stranger things have happened. ]

[warandpeace]

Are you drunk?

[You're so drunk you're being openly Russian, what the hell. How rare is it the Russian is louder than the cowboy???]

[shashka]

No, Miller. I'm proving a point to someone.

[ ...this is all John's fault, somehow. ]

Audio

[tearmeanewone]

[It's not the same, but it's just enough to make her startle just a little. The voice. It sounds almost like one she'd do anything to hear, one that could also make her jump if it sounded too close.]

[The rest of the recording sounds like nonsense, and Elizabeth tries to focus on the words but can't force her brain to make the words into sentences for her to parse. The tones just override everything until she's left with one small snatch of something that made her think, or hope, that some insanity is happening.]

Lightning out of his hands, huh? [She forces a little laugh.] How does somebody manage that?

Audio

[shashka]

[ it's all right, Elizabeth. he's used to disappointing people. ]

At any given time, he could generate an electrical field of about ten million volts. It made it pretty easy to shoot lightening.

[ he says it as though it's a perfectly normal thing for someone to do, even if it clearly isn't. ]

audio;

[shiro2hero]

... Yeah, I was going to say something, but I have a feeling that beats it.

Easy.

audio;

[shashka]

[ ...well.

that was something else. ]

I'd still like to hear it.

[ though he's really just tempted to ask the voice on the other line to say something like "ocelots are proud creatures" because there was something weirdly familiar about that voice. ]

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Someone I knew got turned into a kitten once.

[ It was fucking adorable.

Rinzler probably disagrees though. ]

What's a unicorn?

[shashka]

How?

[ his guess? parasites. it's always something like that.

...wait a second. ]

It's a horse. Only it also has a horn on top of its head. And they usually are just supposed to be legends.

[ again, not everyone comes from Earth. ]

video;

[liberaltus]

I'm not entirely certain where to begin, or if by explaining my strange experience they would simply be normal experiences... either where I'm from or in this strange... futuristic world.

[Needless to say nothing makes sense to Dorian, really, but he goes with it.]

Holes in the sky, demons falling out of it, an ancient darkspawn declaring himself a god and wishing to conquer the world... pretty standard for history I think. Now what mystifies me is the microwave.

[Truly, it's a wonder his house is still standing.]

video;

[shashka]

Ah! Dorian! It's good to see you again!

[ perhaps a more enthusiastic response than he might normally give. but the thing was...

...he had a few drinks with a friend. and while he'd insist he was sober... he really wasn't. and it might show ever so slightly in the video. and in the fact he'd seemingly manifested a Russian accent when he previously had done an impeccable job of concealing it. ]

They're not so hard... See, the most important thing to know about microwaves is to never put metal in them.

[ and again. explaining microwaves... look at how sober he is. ]

audio;

[a_shadow]

So I'm supposed to tell you a tale in return for that tale, and that's meant to be an equitable trade, hm?

audio;

[shashka]

Something like that.

[ it wasn't the most elegant way to go about it, or a way that he might normally go. but, he'd had a little bit (a lot) of alcohol, and he had a point to prove. ]

So, do you have any good stories?

video;

[switchcircuit]

[She hasn't seen too many bizarre things but she does have a hopefully interesting one!]

Hello!

The strangest thing I've seen is the AI of my city creating processes of itself to mimic people. [Knowing this probably makes zero sense she clarifies:] Robots that looked somewhat humanoid. The Men robots created sub-processes that looked like wigs and threw them around.

voice;

[shashka]

[ because he's not about to show his face when he's starting to realize maybe he is a little... under the weather . ]

So what type of AI was this? The benign sort? Or the kind that follows the protocol of a madman and establishes a one-world order.

[ not that he'd know anything about that. not that anyone was trying to do that where he came from. ]

[seekingmyfortune]

a unicorn
as in, mythological horses with a magical horn on their heads

[Sounds fake but okay]

how did you survive

[shashka]

Something like that.

[ look... it was a totally real psychic manifestation or something. ]

We made it to a river. Fire doesn't get across water.

[ O B V I O U S L Y ]

.audio

[ultravires]

Did he catch you?

.audio

[shashka]

Of course not. I wouldn't be alive, otherwise.

[ and hey. cats do have nine lives. ]