thisavrou | audio; slightly backdated to an ungodly hour of the morning

Good morning.

[ the voice on the other end seems to have a vague Russian accent. ]

Since it seems to be a common theme lately, I have a question for everyone: What is the absolute strangest thing you've ever seen or experienced, either where you come from, or from here?

[ a pause ]

In the interest of good faith, I've got a story to share with you about mine. My first Commanding Officer had the unique ability to shoot electricity out of his hands. He was a real piece of work, [ no that was probably sharing too much ] but that's neither here or there. Anyways... he could shoot electricity out of his hands. Which you might or might not find out of the ordinary, but it wasn't quite the weirdest shit I've ever run up against.

[ but back to the story ] Anyways, he ended up getting killed by an enemy agent, much to the dismay of almost no one. But, even if his brain was gone, somehow his body was kept alive, almost out of sheer spite.

And twenty years later, he woke up. But he was on fire. And that fire... [ a pause as he looks for the right word ] zombie [ that was not the right word ] chased me and this other guy on a flaming unicorn.

And that was the strangest thing I've ever experienced.

[ but instead of it shutting off, his tone changes ever so slightly, as he seems to be talking to a person on the other end. ]

-So as you can see, I'm perfectly...

[ no. now it's shut off. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's true... Space really has a way of throwing you for a loop.

[And they're usually bad loops.]

The people living on it told us. They communicate with it on a regular basis.

Tell me about it. Back home, the furthest any country ever got was to the moon.

[ and his mom was one of the first people in space. but that's neither here or there. ]

Really? Did you ever try talking to it?

[ must've been another psychic thing. in the future, he was sure to tell Venom just how wrong he was about psychics not being real. ]

Really? We hit the moon... ages ago.

[Because what even is the timeline in his canon.]

Me -- no. Someone else on our team did that. It's something her people are good at, apparently.

Nice to hear. Once the Americans got to it back in '69, suddenly it didn't seem like such a big deal anymore.

[ and cold warring gets expensive. can't be spending it just on SCIENCE. ]

Her people? So, was she also an alien? What did it say?

[ that's not really all that surprising. ]

Space isn't a big deal? Seriously?

[That's a little shocking, sorry to say.]

Allura isn't human, no. It... asked for our help, and we did what it asked.

So some people thought. After we made it to the moon, governments went right back to mutually-assured destruction.

[ a shame, really. ]

So you became friends with a giant sentient planet. You know, I've got to say that's pretty strange.

[ almost up there with the unicorn. ]

But -- there's so much more out there than just the moon.

[Are you serious sir. How can you just ignore space!!]

I... wouldn't say I became friends with it. Allura and Hunk did more.

Oh sure. But twentieth century Earth was a little more interested in what was going on back at home. I'm sure eventually we'll get further out there, but for the time being, it's mostly just satellites and space stations.

[ but again, maybe that might be for the best in the future. ]

Really?

I... can't imagine not wanting to know more about what was out there.

The threat of nuclear war puts a damper on that.

Maybe in a few decades, once things have calmed down a little more.

[ but hey, he isn't a scientist. ]

Oh... I didn't know you were that far back.

1984.

[ which is an ominous year... if you've ever read the book, of course. ]

That.

Bodes well.