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[tearsinajar]

I feel like, with everything that's going on, I've lost track of time.

I mean, we've been on a ship for so long, we've gone on a few planet trips, and then there was that whole— [ Elena waves a hand, dismissive. Only because that's a difficult one to process. ] —year thing. Or at least I think it was a year.

Not only that but we've gone and swapped out captains, most of us have survived a ship crash landing or two, and Lord knows what else.

But in all of that— and yes, there's a point to this— how are you supposed to celebrate a birthday when you've barely had any time to sit down and process everything? When you sit down and keep asking yourself, "What day is it?" or "What month are we at?" or better yet— "How old am I again?"

[ Like the song What's my age again? ]

I really doubt this place has a bar with decent male strippers.

[ A tiny pause. She makes a face. Oh god. ]

...what if they're alien male strippers? What am I supposed to do with that?

Comments

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[sketchycharacter]

I choose to look on the bright side: you can't get mad at me for forgetting our anniversary.

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[tearsinajar]

But you have forgotten my birthday on more than one occasion.

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[neverheardofhim]

What's a little stripping between friends? I'll do it for free -- you just have to tell your husband that my chest is the best thing you've seen.

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[tearsinajar]

It all depends on how thick the forest is. His is pretty thick.

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[otiosity]

What wouldn't you do with alien male strippers? Or sort of stripper for that matter?

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[tearsinajar]

I've seen a few Japanese tentacle porn flicks in my day but living that out? Not sure how well that would go over.

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[squadgoals]

Take a few hours and get to know them, and you might end up discovering just how much you have in common with the "aliens".

And if they're stripper aliens? [She shrugs, slyly amused.] Maybe take a few more hours. It is your birthday, after all.

VIDEO

[tearsinajar]

I'm sure, to them, we're the "aliens".

I'll consider it. Though I do have to wonder what their version of a 'lap dance' is.

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

Guestimate. And write the deets on your undies I guess.

voice;

[tearsinajar]

Those deets are just going to wash out when I wash them.

[prorenataa]

[ That was ... an interesting monologue.

He'll keep his chuckling to himself, though when he does answer there is a thread of amusement in his otherwise dry tones. ]

Happy birthday, Elena.

[tearsinajar]

I'm still trying to work out if I'm happy about that or not, but— thank you.

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[flynnitomite]

Oh you naughty thing, you.

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[tearsinajar]

[ God. Why. ]

Please. That's nothing.

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[inconsequence]

Congratulations on successfully corrupting the entire child population in record time by introducing us to the concept of "alien male strippers."

I hope you are very proud.

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[tearsinajar]

What is the entire child population?

voice;

[worn_wings]

Quit counting. If you wanna party just go. Don't really need an excuse.

voice;

[tearsinajar]

I guess if I stop counting then I can pretend I'm still twenty-five.

{ video }

[frostedplum]

I suppose you could always decide on a new day and count up from there!

{ video }

[tearsinajar]

That's definitely an option.

voice;

[grandpaladin]

[Reinhardt, of course, just plain laughs.]

Well, my friend! I would assume you pay them as you would human strippers! Hah! They may object otherwise!

voice;

[tearsinajar]

[ He would laugh. ]

I would assume the same thing. I'm just trying to work out the set up of alien strippers.

video;

[shiro2hero]

...

You know. I really hope neither of those options are a thing around here.

[For a few blue-haired reasons.]

But as far as dates go... you get used to not knowing, after a while. If that's any consolation.

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[tearsinajar]

Are you referring to the strippers or something else...?

I don't know, it's kind of nice to know, you know? But the fact that you're trying to console me, does that mean there's a story behind it?

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[ascendit]

if you want to try before you go in person there's a guy here who was giving out interspecies alien porn videos a while ago

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[tearsinajar]

And you would know this how...?

[ Holy shit, past-young-child-husband, how? What? ]

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[nicearsenal]

Okay now I'm just offended that you're planning a stripper outing and you didn't even consult me about it. I thought we were stripper friends.

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[tearsinajar]

I wasn't planning anything! But by the looks of it, it might end up being a thing. And hey, we were stripper friends the one time, Chloe. My bachelorette, that was it.


[ They won't talk about the body shots. ]

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[takeitslow]

Same thing you do with regular strippers, I guess.

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[tearsinajar]

Do you think these ones are wearing anything for us to put our money into?

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[gentlemenpreferblondes]

Well, you know they say that you can tell woman's age from her wrinkles.

And honestly? I wouldn't necessarily turn down all alien strippers before seeing them first.

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[tearsinajar]

Do they? Here I thought it had to do more with the jowls.

I suppose that would be rude, turning them down before getting a look.

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[heisenbitch]

On the bright side, an alien male stripper with like a dozen tentacle dicks would probably take your mind off the whole birthday thing?

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[tearsinajar]

It would be an epic meatspin, oh definitely. I wouldn't know where to look.