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[tearsinajar]

I feel like, with everything that's going on, I've lost track of time.

I mean, we've been on a ship for so long, we've gone on a few planet trips, and then there was that whole— [ Elena waves a hand, dismissive. Only because that's a difficult one to process. ] —year thing. Or at least I think it was a year.

Not only that but we've gone and swapped out captains, most of us have survived a ship crash landing or two, and Lord knows what else.

But in all of that— and yes, there's a point to this— how are you supposed to celebrate a birthday when you've barely had any time to sit down and process everything? When you sit down and keep asking yourself, "What day is it?" or "What month are we at?" or better yet— "How old am I again?"

[ Like the song What's my age again? ]

I really doubt this place has a bar with decent male strippers.

[ A tiny pause. She makes a face. Oh god. ]

...what if they're alien male strippers? What am I supposed to do with that?

Comments

[inconsequence]

Perhaps because adults should know better.

It is your job, is it not?

[tearsinajar]

Not quite.

[inconsequence]

Then by all means, elaborate.

[tearsinajar]

I shouldn't have to.

[inconsequence]

No?

So this allows you a free pass to say and do whatever it is you like?

[tearsinajar]

You'll understand when you're older. One of the perks to being a grown up.

[inconsequence]

Hilarious. And also factually inaccurate.

The dead cannot grow any older.

[tearsinajar]

No, they can't.

You're dead? Actually dead? Back home?

[inconsequence]

I have passed on. I am no more. I have ceased to be. I have expired and gone to meet my maker. I am a stiff, bereft of life. I rest in peace. Pushing up the daisies. My metabolic processes are now history. I am off the twig. I have kicked the bucket and shuffled off my mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

I am an ex-child.



So, yes. I am, scientifically speaking, dead as a doornail.

[tearsinajar]

That's
I'm sorry to hear that.

[inconsequence]

Don't be! I have been reliably informed that it was the best possible route for everyone!

[tearsinajar]

It might work for others and it probably doesn't work for the rest, who knows.

[inconsequence]

Some people are simply better off dead, it turns out.

[tearsinajar]

I'd believe that. Maybe it's deserved, maybe it's undeserved.

[inconsequence]

Most certainly deserved. Or the fault of those who are.

[tearsinajar]

And yours?

[inconsequence]

What do you think?

[tearsinajar]

I don't know.
You tell me.

[inconsequence]

I attempted to rekindle an ages-old war between humans and monsters. In doing so, I served as the catalyst for a destroyed marriage, a divided kingdom, and the death of many who, certainly, did not deserve to die, yet had to bear the sins of my choices. Had my plan succeeded, I would have exacted a mass-scale genocide on all of humanity, and razed every last member of that miserable species to the ground. Turned each and every one of them to dust. In some timelines, I did exactly that, and watched the world turn into a pointless, empty void.



So again. I ask.



What do you think?