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[otiosity]

Alright shipmates. I have a very important and deeply philosophical question to ask all of you. It may change your life and rock you to your very core.

[Serious Hawke isn't all that good at being serious. So don't be bad if you assume, just a little bit, that this is a shitpost. Hawke clears her throat dramatically before continuing.]

Let's say you you receive an item. Something like a book or... a computer... read-y thing. And within it's pages it details the future of your life exactly as someone you know experienced it.

Would you read it? Only read the parts that are your past? Or just toss the whole bloody pile of them out garbage chute? Is there any right answer? Is it more dangerous to know your future or to experience it blindly? Questions! Thinky-thoughts! Deep ones.

Which leads me to-

[Hawke shows to the camera a large leather bound book entitled Tale of the Champion and decorated with the Kirkwall City Crest on it. Behind her there are a stack of at least 10 similar books.]

If you would like a copy of the apparently popular book by the somehow incredibly popular author, Varric Tehras, you can hit me up. Look, it's even autographed. Bet that's worth a coin or two. Maybe I'll even sign it so it's double famous. Or perhaps infamous. Which is maybe why the Ingress decided I needed 20 of them.

[She's not gonna sign it. Honestly, she finds this whole thing jacked! But also funny and curious and that's a lot of feelings all at once for Marian Hawke.

Then she reaches down onto the pile of books and pulls out an extremely cute and lace covered bra.]

I'm also giving away this thing for anyone who desperately wants to have the most beautiful bosom on the ship. Sadly, I just don't have the heart to suffer for beauty. I'm a born and true ruffian at heart. Size 32AA.

((ooc; "Tale of the Champion" details the events of Dragon Age II which you can read the short version or the long version of the summary if you want to get a copy/assume you were given a copy by Hawke and ask her questions about it. I'm also open at bowtie or PM if you wanna ask specific questions))

Comments

video;

[sketchycharacter]

If you don't give it to me immediately, we're no longer friends.

[otiosity]

A threat I must submit to.

Where are you?

voice;

[orplasmic]

So someone wrote a book about stuff you haven't lived yet? How's that even work?

[otiosity]

I know you people would joke about it being "magic" but it's less magic and more "the Ingress is a bit of a shit".

video;

[arcreact]

I'm offended you've offered it to the network before giving it to me first thing.

[ HE'S PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT THE BOOK AND NOT THE BRA. Probably. ]

[otiosity]

I dunno. It didn't seem like the right size for you. Bit small in the band.

[YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THAT ONE.]

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[gentlemenpreferblondes]

oh look. Ingress is playing a fortune teller again.

[otiosity]

And here I thought I was special.

Don't break my heart.

video;

[meetmyblade]

[Evie's going to regard the bra rather like one would an unfamiliar snake; it could either be completely harmless or viciously poisonous but either way it's not worth pushing one's luck to find out. It's certainly not something she'd ever want anywhere near her bosom, that's for sure.]

I would think it's probably best not to know too much about what your future has in store for you in case it breeds complacency and a false sense of security... but then again, they do say that to be forewarned is to be forearmed.

Would the author be a friend or an enemy?

[otiosity]

[Hawke feels that Evie. It's never going near her chest. Best to give it to someone with far more courage.]

A friend. My best friend, actually.

And that's exactly the dilemma. Is knowing better or worse? And does it even matter out here on this ship and not back home?

voice;

[hanzer]

Can't be that popular if it had to pawn off twenty of them on you.

[A pause – he can't believe he's actually about to seriously ask this – and then:] What exactly are you Champion of?

[otiosity]

Or maybe so popular they had extra. People love his books. Bestsellers, apparently.

[She gives a shrug.]

Kirkwall. The city I live in.

video;

[ex_forcechoke292]

I've had quite enough of the future already.

[He grimaces at the feed. If he has to hear nothing else about his own, it will still be too soon.]

But are you sure you want others on board to know more about it than you do? How is that not asking for trouble?

[Because not everyone is as poorly destined as he is? A wonder.]

[otiosity]

Really? Clearly I've been left out of the fun.

[Aww. What a grumpy guy. Sounds like the Ingress has been giving him the run around.

Then she gives a shrug.]

Well, I'm curious but I don't feel like doing it myself so I figure I'll let others do it for me. Besides, can you really blackmail someone with things they don't even know? "Next Tuesday, you'll fall in the shower so give me your rations!".

Doesn't really work.

VIDEO

[squadgoals]

Okay, I'll bite. Book, please.

[otiosity]

[Where are you Sheppers? Because a book is being tossed your way RIGHT NOW.]

[vengeance_driven]

I used to work with that guy.

He was pretty weird. I assumed his books would be the same.

[otiosity]

...

[Oh.]

[otiosity]

[Sans had mentioned that, hadn't he? But she'd been so drunk, sick, and exhausted that her ability to register things was rather limited.

So it was true.]

[voice]

[ryuuzaki]

I don't think I'd read a book about me.

[He would, in a heartbeat: he just doesn't want there to be one, and isn't sure he wants to know how it ends if the ending isn't one he can change.]

I'd read someone else's, however. Do you think it would entertain someone who's laid up in medical?

[otiosity]

It's a bit of a strange thought, isn't it?

[She gives a little bit of a shrug before running her hands through her hair.]

Do they like dragons and elves and merry bands of misfits coming together and exchanging quips?

audio;

[cockade]

You know, I'm not sure whether I would toss it in a garbage chute or try to put it in the airlock and watch it fly out into space.

[A pause.]

I take it back- I'd probably do the first. The second one would more than likely somehow come back to haunt me.

[otiosity]

Bewaaaaare the books about you from the depths of spaaaaaaace.

[THAT'S HILARIOUS. Good job you.]

Best to burn it then.

Audio

[tearmeanewone]

If you'd care to spare a copy for the library, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing we've placed on our shelves. Varric did frequent the place too, it might be fitting to a certain extent.

But to your first question-- I'd be wary of considering what's in that book to be exactly what's in your future. While you might find that the you in that book made a choice you remember differently, it's entirely possible that you will make a different choice later on.

There is no single version of anyone. The fact that I've seen about three of Tony Stark proves that. So if you're curious, go ahead and read it I say, but don't put too much belief in it being 'your destiny'.

[otiosity]

Someone's already asked about the library. Being in a library somehow seems like true fa-

[WAIT A SECOND.]

You've met three Starks? Maker. Sounds like a nightmare.

voice;

[kidjoy]

[She might have something to say about someone being the subject of a book, but she's a kid and underwear is hilarious. She's giggling as soon as the feed opens.]

Why the hell would anyone go needin' fancy under-dos like that for?

[otiosity]

[Well. Don't worry Hawke is barely above that in maturity level.]

No idea. Honestly the lace and all that is mostly just itchy.

video;

[liberaltus]

I had no idea you did think-y, what brought on this sudden philosophical epiphany?

[otiosity]

It's a dangerous past time I generally try to avoid. But a month of drinking has perhaps done serious damage to my brain.

video;

[tearsinajar]

That's a really nice bra... Did it come with the book?

[otiosity]

It did.

But I don't think the two are related. At least I hope they're not related.