video post

[otiosity]

Alright shipmates. I have a very important and deeply philosophical question to ask all of you. It may change your life and rock you to your very core.

[Serious Hawke isn't all that good at being serious. So don't be bad if you assume, just a little bit, that this is a shitpost. Hawke clears her throat dramatically before continuing.]

Let's say you you receive an item. Something like a book or... a computer... read-y thing. And within it's pages it details the future of your life exactly as someone you know experienced it.

Would you read it? Only read the parts that are your past? Or just toss the whole bloody pile of them out garbage chute? Is there any right answer? Is it more dangerous to know your future or to experience it blindly? Questions! Thinky-thoughts! Deep ones.

Which leads me to-

[Hawke shows to the camera a large leather bound book entitled Tale of the Champion and decorated with the Kirkwall City Crest on it. Behind her there are a stack of at least 10 similar books.]

If you would like a copy of the apparently popular book by the somehow incredibly popular author, Varric Tehras, you can hit me up. Look, it's even autographed. Bet that's worth a coin or two. Maybe I'll even sign it so it's double famous. Or perhaps infamous. Which is maybe why the Ingress decided I needed 20 of them.

[She's not gonna sign it. Honestly, she finds this whole thing jacked! But also funny and curious and that's a lot of feelings all at once for Marian Hawke.

Then she reaches down onto the pile of books and pulls out an extremely cute and lace covered bra.]

I'm also giving away this thing for anyone who desperately wants to have the most beautiful bosom on the ship. Sadly, I just don't have the heart to suffer for beauty. I'm a born and true ruffian at heart. Size 32AA.

((ooc; "Tale of the Champion" details the events of Dragon Age II which you can read the short version or the long version of the summary if you want to get a copy/assume you were given a copy by Hawke and ask her questions about it. I'm also open at bowtie or PM if you wanna ask specific questions))

Comments

VIDEO

[squadgoals]

Okay, I'll bite. Book, please.

[otiosity]

[Where are you Sheppers? Because a book is being tossed your way RIGHT NOW.]

ACTION (THE BAR)

[squadgoals]

[Holy sHIT

She sees it coming out the corner of her eye at almost the last second — too late to react physically.

There's a pop of displaced air, and the offending object is lifted into the air, floating suspended in a field of flickering blue.]

What the hell--?

[It's a book.

Her expression makes a quick transition from "wary" to "wry" as she turns to the direction of the reading material projectile.]

You know, "throwing the book" at someone is usually just a turn of phrase.

[otiosity]

It sure makes things faster.

[Hawke pokes at the book floating in the air. Not surprised by it just idly amused.]

[squadgoals]

You were sure quick enough with finding me.

[Shep pauses, and looks around.]

Then again, it was either here, or the Tower. [She plucks the book out of her 'lift' field, and the blue energy evaporates around it.]

Got a pen? I want that signature.

[otiosity]

You want me to sign a book you haven't even read? What if it's utter shit?

[squadgoals]

Are you worried about my opinion of it, or yours?

[otiosity]

Who said worried? Just that generally you're supposed to sign things that are... important? Popular? Who knows about this one.

[squadgoals]

This seems pretty important. Seems like you might be, too.

[She flips it open to the cover, and taps it.]

Once I've read it, I'm sure I'll only cherish it more.

[otiosity]

Apparently I am. And here I thought my life was only rife with shenanigans to where only those that experienced them could appreciate them.

[She gives a lazy shrug, swaggers over, and signs the book. Congrats you know her first name if you didn't before.]

[squadgoals]

"My life as an in-joke", by Marian Hawke?

[Yep, not forgetting this one.]

It's a promising title.