Text;

[allyisun]

[Allison does her best to lock this post from any kids on board, but pretty drunk and mostly just squinting at people's icons to make her choices. Nico Robin and Peter Maximoff are definitely excluded. Just in case, she adds a disclaimer.]

THIS IS AN ADULT ONLY POST. IF U ARE UNDER 18 DO NOT READ.

ACTUALLY IF UR UNDER 20 DO NOT READ

OR 21?

okay but like shit is going down soon and it is absolutely imperative that I get laid

So I need someone to get laid with

OK?

Comments

Text - cw masturbation mention??

[inruins]

Dear, you can likely pleasure yourself far better than relying on someone who does not know your body the way you know it.

I'm sorry

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

PLEASURE? I THOUGHT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT EGGS! AFTER ALL, HOW ELSE WOULD SOMEONE HOPE TO 'GET LAID'??

[skelepun]

it is, pap. allison likes them over easy, that's all.

[inruins]

[She totally laughed at this, but can't let it stand.]
Sans play nice.

my comic sans broke noooooo

[skelepun]

you laughed.

[inruins]

I have no further comments to make on this matter presently. If you would like to make a proper inquiry, please contact me through the correct channels ]:)!

[Yes, yes she totally did and is laughing again.]

[inruins]

Papyrus, it is slang for having sex. She's asking if someone would have sex with her.

1/2

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

OH! WELL WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST SAY SO IN THE FIRST PLACE.

2/2

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

IS SEX A HUMAN FOOD?

what a fucking mess CW: SEX TALK

[inruins]

No, dear. Sex is an act two people, engage in. It is a way of bonding with your romantic partner or simply a way to enjoy yourselves.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[This still 100% sounds like food to him, but he's trying to keep an open mind.]

THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN! HOW DO PEOPLE DO SEX? ARE THERE PUZZLES INVOLVED?

WHAT ABOUT SPIKE TRAPS?

[inruins]

It is more a physical and emotional act. It depends entirely on the people involved of course. Monsters have sex differently than humans as well.

Humans are purely physical, whilst as you know monsters are varied enough it takes discussion between partners to find a good comfort zone.

I would not personally recommend spike traps, but I will not judge anyone who enjoys that sort of thing.

feel free to gloss over describing shit if it's easier for you jfc

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

BUT... WHAT IS IT? AND HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO TO DO IT WITH?

I DON'T THINK THIS HUMAN IS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HAVING A BOND AT ALL!

[inruins]

Well, dear. Sex is something you do with a bonded partner, or with someone you trust or find attractive in some manner. As long as both parties consent and show interest it is an activity they participate in.

Given the magical properties of souls, we function in a very different way. Humans prefer more physical touch whilst we have differing options you see. Honestly humans seem more hung up on sexuality and being defined, I've always found it a bit baffling.

[Toriel writes out a very long involved explanation of how monsters have sex. Hope the network enjoys knowing all of this. After which she writes a briefer summary of human sex to help clear up any possible confusion. It is very, very clear Toriel knows a lot about both subjects.]

Monster or humans can have sex without a bond needed, as I said it depends if they find each other attractive! Allison seems to be intoxicated if what I have read elsewhere is true. Right now she's feeling a bit lonely.

[coolskeletonnyehntyfive]

[THAT IS A LOT OF INFORMATION. Papyrus is just over here, eyesockets wide, learning so much. He had no idea sex was so involved and exciting! He's always liked the idea of romance, in a way. The thought of dating somebody has always been appealing to him, at least in a very vague 'I wouldn't be so lonely anymore' sense.

But he never seriously sat down and thought about dating activities and what comes next in-depth. His date with Starflight ended with them as friends, and his puppy love crush on Palatino... well... the less said about that, the better.

There's a whole new world opening up for him here, even if the human stuff is more fascinating in a train wreck sort of way. They put their... and then they... really?

That's so weird!]

HOLY WOWIE! I NEVER KNEW THINGS LIKE THIS WERE EVEN POSSIBLE! DOES EVERYONE DO IT? EVEN ROBOTS?

HOW DO THE ROBOTS DO SEX??

not here;

[skelepun]

[he ded]

[not here]

[mttbrandlegs]

[Spike traps?

Mmmm, kinky.]

Text;

[allyisun]

[Allison is going to way more embarrassed about this entire chain of conversations tomorrow, but for now she's just drunk and sad.]

I LIVE WITH BOYS!!!!1!

Text;

[inruins]

Oh, I see! My sympathies, dear. Though you do have a shower, correct? If you lock the door you could have some privacy.

It would not make sex any easier though, given the fact your roommates would have to know and leave so you could have an intimate moment.

Text;

[allyisun]

im too embarrassed because what if they know???

...

.....

Ok but its diff when it's sex because ur not alone

Text;

[inruins]

If they do, most usually don't comment. In that case social taboos work in your favor.

Yes, in a way it does. It still means you and your partner have to have a room to yourselves, which is hard to manage with roommates. Given everyones varied sleep schedules, jobs and odd habits having some privacy is rare.

Text;

[allyisun]

Nnnnnnnn

OK so

Maybe I dint plan this ahead good?

[You... You didn't plan this at all, Allison...]

Text;

[inruins]

Consider it a learning experience. You'll do better next time when inquiring for possible sexual partners.

I hear using the phrase 'are you dtf?' is a more subtle approach.

Text;

[allyisun]

but that means asking specific people

Text;

[inruins]

You're going to have to bite that bullet when it comes, dear. Otherwise invest in proper toys for when you're in the mood.