Video;

[peridork]

Greetings... fellow crew members.

[It looks like it pained her a just a tiny little bit to say that last part, if the shadow of a grimace that passes over her face is any indication.]

It occurs to me that many of you may not yet know me. Allow me to introduce myself: Peridot, cryo repair technician and senior crew member aboard this ship.

[She's been here for over 3 months now, which, by her measure? Means she's significantly more senior here than all you NOOBS.]

I'm creating this message because I have an offer to extend to all of you less technologically savvy cl-- People. Like everyone else on the Moira, I have my assigned duties, which I do, as requested, with regular efficiency. But unlike most of you, I'd rather not dribble away valuable so-called "free time" doing "recreation" [literal air quotes] and other such nonsense.

[She pauses. Sighs dramatically.] Unfortunately, I'm finding myself with an excess of "free time", because unlike you organic lifeforms, I do not require food or "sleep", and the duties assigned to me by the Captains only keep me occupied for so many hours of the day.

This is where my offer comes in: If you have any mechanical equipment that needs maintenance, or if you need some kind of device engineered and constructed, you are welcome to contact my personal channel and request my assistance. I think you will find my skills to be more than satisfactory.

[She looks like she's about to sign off, but then has a second thought.]

Oh... And before you clods start bombarding me with the same idiotic questions over and over, allow me to address the more common ones for you: No, I am not a "mutant" human. I am a gem. If you really want to know what gems are, I can forward you a helpful primer on the subject so that I don't have to waste my breath explaining it for the thousandth time since I was dragged aboard this ship. Yes, you heard correctly when I said that gems are not organic lifeforms. And lastly, no, I am NOT a "robot".

[Satisfied that that should keep at least some of the imbeciles at bay, she nods curtly.]

Thank you for your consideration. Peridot, signing off.

Comments

video;

[hyperkinesia]

Clods?

[ He sounds more amused than anything, but then he's used to Peridot. He'd go so far as to say he likes her. Her little quirks are more than manageable to him. ]

So does this mean no more book reading or story telling? Because I'd consider that a "recreational" [ yes, air quotes ] activity.

[peridork]

[Peridot looks startled. Bruce has a weird way of making her feel embarrassed when she normally wouldn't be; must be some kind of authority aura, or something. A dad aura.]

N-No, because that's actually constructive. [Sweats. Forces a scowl.] I'm learning valuable information that I might not hear about otherwise.

[hyperkinesia]

[ And he's not even trying there. It must be some kind of natural talent he has, able to embarrass her like that even when he's not the least bit serious about any of it.

Though he does think it would be nice for her to learn how to enjoy her free time a little better. But one thing at a time. ]

Ah. Of course, that makes perfect sense. [ Please, Peridot. ] Even when they're not technical books?

video;

[whynotgoonmyown]

... Well, put me down for one interested in the helpful primer. I don't think I need anything right now, but I'm curious.

[peridork]

Unsurprising. From what I've observed so far, you humans nearly always are overly curious. So far every single one of you has responded to this message with requests for more information, rather than to address the primary purpose of my posting it.

[...Says the girl who spent her first day on the ship playing with the taps in the bathroom because she didn't really know what water was.

She sends the primer along with her video file, which contains the following information.]

[whynotgoonmyown]

Not really human, and like I said, I don't need anything regarding the main reasons for your post. So I figured I'd at least take the offer for the primer.

[text]

[hirotohero]

Are you sure you aren't a robot? That seems like a thing a robot would say to avoid being caught.

[ Sorry, not sorry. ]

[peridork]

Yes. I'm sure.

...Why would a robot need to avoid being caught?

[hirotohero]

That also sounds like something a robot to say. Some of them are programmed to try and trick people into thinking they aren't robots as part of a test.

[seventhcrown]

"Well, if you have so much free time, maybe you should try a hobby! Also... that primer sounds useful, can I have one?"

She's not gonna comment on how a non-organic life form can 'waste breath' if they dont need to breathe.

[peridork]

Peridot doesn't look particularly impressed by the suggestion, green eyes narrowing. It's a pretty hostile looking response, for such a harmless suggestion... sorry, Kairi.

"What's a hobby?"

She heaves a sigh, fiddling with her MID. "Here." The file comes along next, which contains the following information.

[seventhcrown]

It's okay, Kairi is used to grumpy people, as is the fate of any reasonably cheerful person. You learned to roll with the punches.

"It's something you do in your spare time. Usually you enjoy whatever it is, like arts and crafts or music."

Oh. Give her a minute, she's not terribly adept with technology more complex than a refrigerator. Stabbing at the screen, she goes the very long way about pulling up the file and skimming through.

"Oh, that's really cool! Not needing to eat or sleep sounds convenient."

video;

[forwardmomentum]

[ hello, peridot, you're being unusually tactful today. miles is surprised, really. is she really just handing out favors? he wouldn't have expected that from someone as aloof as peridot can be, but then again, maybe she really is that bored. miles grins brillianty. ]

How are you with paperwork?

[peridork]

[Oh god it's this guy again. Peridot frowns, brow furrowing. Annoyed, but curious in spite of that.] What's paperwork?

[forwardmomentum]

You know. Forms, reports, the occasional bar graph. What, you don't have bureacracy on your planet? A shame, you seem like you'd have a real knack for it.

[ what he means is peridot is the most anal-retentive fussbucket he's met around here, which is perfectly conveyed by his total shit-eating grin. ]

text;

[notglitching]

[Not a user. Not a robot. And she didn't look much like any program class he knew. Curiosity achieved.]

Request: primer.

[peridork]

[Oh, this one is so polite, and to the point. A kindred spirit.]

Granted.

[She sends it attached to that message. The file contains the following information.]

[notglitching]

[Prompt data sharing? Very nice. Those good impressions would be mutual. Don't mind Rinzler just taking a couple micros to write that file to memory. The concept of growth still registers oddly, but at least these gems had functions.]

Query.

Identifier: "Peridot" indicative of class/function.
Individual ID?

[video]

[daintylegs]

[This little bean seems so strict that Tailgate actually raises his hand before he makes his request.]

Oooh can I have a helpful primer? I think I've met one of you already. She seemed nice.

[peridork]

[First of all, before responding, she sends along the primer, which divulges the following bits of information.

She blinks, frowning slightly. "Nice" seems an odd word to describe the 5000+ year-old 9 ft tall war vet.] Are you talking about Jasper?

[daintylegs]

Yeah! The one with the pretty colour scheme.

[Tailgate pauses a moment to look over the thing she sent him. Ooh, interesting!]

Oh wow, our species aren't a whole lot different are they? We grow from the ground and use hard-light stuff too! We're also not organic, which I think is an important distinction.

video

[aminerproblem]

[Interesting. He wasn't particularly enthusiastic about letting any alien partake in what he needed, but if he had to pick.]

How advanced is the technology you ordinarily deal with?

[peridork]

[Oh good, a chance to boast. She puffs up, smirking like she's sharing a private joke with him.]

Hah. Much more advanced than the equipment present on this ship. Some of this stuff may look nice, but in practice it's really not all that impressive... and it's nothing next the technology back on Homeworld.

text;

[skelepun]

so, you're a mutant human, huh? neat.

[peridork]

That is literally the opposite of what I said.