Video;

[peridork]

Greetings... fellow crew members.

[It looks like it pained her a just a tiny little bit to say that last part, if the shadow of a grimace that passes over her face is any indication.]

It occurs to me that many of you may not yet know me. Allow me to introduce myself: Peridot, cryo repair technician and senior crew member aboard this ship.

[She's been here for over 3 months now, which, by her measure? Means she's significantly more senior here than all you NOOBS.]

I'm creating this message because I have an offer to extend to all of you less technologically savvy cl-- People. Like everyone else on the Moira, I have my assigned duties, which I do, as requested, with regular efficiency. But unlike most of you, I'd rather not dribble away valuable so-called "free time" doing "recreation" [literal air quotes] and other such nonsense.

[She pauses. Sighs dramatically.] Unfortunately, I'm finding myself with an excess of "free time", because unlike you organic lifeforms, I do not require food or "sleep", and the duties assigned to me by the Captains only keep me occupied for so many hours of the day.

This is where my offer comes in: If you have any mechanical equipment that needs maintenance, or if you need some kind of device engineered and constructed, you are welcome to contact my personal channel and request my assistance. I think you will find my skills to be more than satisfactory.

[She looks like she's about to sign off, but then has a second thought.]

Oh... And before you clods start bombarding me with the same idiotic questions over and over, allow me to address the more common ones for you: No, I am not a "mutant" human. I am a gem. If you really want to know what gems are, I can forward you a helpful primer on the subject so that I don't have to waste my breath explaining it for the thousandth time since I was dragged aboard this ship. Yes, you heard correctly when I said that gems are not organic lifeforms. And lastly, no, I am NOT a "robot".

[Satisfied that that should keep at least some of the imbeciles at bay, she nods curtly.]

Thank you for your consideration. Peridot, signing off.

Comments

[hyperkinesia]

I'm sure you have, but it's always nice to have an actual list I can look into, if I ever happen to have any doubts. Though I might also ask you directly every so often, if I want to know something that's not there. I mean, if you don't mind.

[ It sounds like Peridot's been asked a lot of questions about gems as of late, so he doesn't want to force her into repeating herself for his sake. But it's always a nice topic of conversation, getting to know each other's species a little better. ]

Thanks.

[peridork]

Oh. Um... You're welcome. Yes, you may feel free to ask whatever questions you wish. You and the dragon both are exceptions, since we co-habitat, and I'm aware by this point that neither of you are complete and utterly hopeless clods.

[hyperkinesia]

Really? Wow, that sounds like such... high praise, coming from you. [ You know, considering Peridot has a tendency to lump organic lifeforms more or less together. ] I'll make sure not to ask anything you've explained already. And you're free to ask anything you want about humans. Or some of the other species we have on Earth too, if you want.

[peridork]

Your offer is greatly appreciated. [Seriously. It is.] I am learning... but... there are still some behaviors and customs that crop up from time to time that continue to vex me.

[Of course she can't think of any of them right now, but that's not really the point.]

[hyperkinesia]

My pleasure. [ And he means it. ] That's understandable. Feel free to ask about them and I'll do my best to make sense of them to you. If they even make sense at all.

[ Some habits and attitudes puzzle even Bruce himself. ]

[peridork]

Heheheh...

[Evidently, she's amused by the fact that organics are apparently so confusing, they even manage to confuse each other on a near constant basis. Incredible.]

Well then. Do you have any other questions for the time being?

[Because otherwise she has like, 10 messages waiting in her queue. Looks like people are actually interested in this.]

[hyperkinesia]

[ Bruce arches an eyebrow at the amusement, but makes no comment on it. Peridot always seems to find humans funny and silly in a lot of ways - not that he can blame her. ]

No, not right now. We see each other often enough anyway, so I'll ask in person if and when I do. [ He smiles. ] Take care, Peridot.

[peridork]

[She nods.] You as well.

[And the feed cuts.]