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[peridork]

Greetings... fellow crew members.

[It looks like it pained her a just a tiny little bit to say that last part, if the shadow of a grimace that passes over her face is any indication.]

It occurs to me that many of you may not yet know me. Allow me to introduce myself: Peridot, cryo repair technician and senior crew member aboard this ship.

[She's been here for over 3 months now, which, by her measure? Means she's significantly more senior here than all you NOOBS.]

I'm creating this message because I have an offer to extend to all of you less technologically savvy cl-- People. Like everyone else on the Moira, I have my assigned duties, which I do, as requested, with regular efficiency. But unlike most of you, I'd rather not dribble away valuable so-called "free time" doing "recreation" [literal air quotes] and other such nonsense.

[She pauses. Sighs dramatically.] Unfortunately, I'm finding myself with an excess of "free time", because unlike you organic lifeforms, I do not require food or "sleep", and the duties assigned to me by the Captains only keep me occupied for so many hours of the day.

This is where my offer comes in: If you have any mechanical equipment that needs maintenance, or if you need some kind of device engineered and constructed, you are welcome to contact my personal channel and request my assistance. I think you will find my skills to be more than satisfactory.

[She looks like she's about to sign off, but then has a second thought.]

Oh... And before you clods start bombarding me with the same idiotic questions over and over, allow me to address the more common ones for you: No, I am not a "mutant" human. I am a gem. If you really want to know what gems are, I can forward you a helpful primer on the subject so that I don't have to waste my breath explaining it for the thousandth time since I was dragged aboard this ship. Yes, you heard correctly when I said that gems are not organic lifeforms. And lastly, no, I am NOT a "robot".

[Satisfied that that should keep at least some of the imbeciles at bay, she nods curtly.]

Thank you for your consideration. Peridot, signing off.

Comments

[peridork]

[First of all, before responding, she sends along the primer, which divulges the following bits of information.

She blinks, frowning slightly. "Nice" seems an odd word to describe the 5000+ year-old 9 ft tall war vet.] Are you talking about Jasper?

[daintylegs]

Yeah! The one with the pretty colour scheme.

[Tailgate pauses a moment to look over the thing she sent him. Ooh, interesting!]

Oh wow, our species aren't a whole lot different are they? We grow from the ground and use hard-light stuff too! We're also not organic, which I think is an important distinction.

[peridork]

...Really?

[That sure piques her interest. She peers at the screen of her MID curiously.]

Hm. Well, it's about time we got some sensibly constructed crew members around here. I mean, there are other non-humans on-board as well, but most of them are still organic.

[Lomaxes, quarians, dragons... The list goes on and on.]

What are you, anyway?

[daintylegs]

We're Cybertronian! I wish I had a helpful primer for you too, but it never occured to me to make one. You're very organized, good for you!

[Maybe he'll ask Magnus to make them one later.]

We're a bio-mechanical race from the planet Cybertron. I haven't met a lot of organics before, so being here is a little bit of an adventure! A good one, that is. Nothing terrible has happened so far, so I think everything is okay.

[peridork]

[Peridot kind of scowls at that last bit.] Give it time, I guarantee you something else will go wrong here. This ship is a mess, and I mean that both mechanically and in regards to the crew.

[Sigh.] Still, it's nice to know we're finally getting some other non-organic species on board, though. Is there more than one of you here, then?

[daintylegs]

There's three of us! The other two are Megatron and Ultra Magnus. You'll definitely recognize them if you meet them.

Um, so how long have you been on this ship? The way you talk makes you sound like a real veteran. Got any more advice for newbies like me?

[peridork]

[Tailgate you will probably come to regret committing the sin of stroking Peridot's ego. Her expression brightens significantly at his words, but not really in a pleasant way.]

Well... I've been a member of this crew for approximately 3 Earth months now, if you're familiar with that unit of measurement. So, yes... You could say I have a bit of experience here.

As for advice... There are a few things I could tell you, but not all of them are safe to utter over an unsecured network like this. Just listen to the more experienced crew members, and don't go breaking into any locked rooms.

[daintylegs]

A whole three months? Wow!

[Was that sarcasm? It might have been! Well, actually it probably was.]

We should definitely meet up so you can tell me them sometime. Me and my crew can be a bit of a magnet for trouble and I'd like to avoid as much as possible.

[Tailgate knows, deep down, that no Lost Lighter has the ability to avoid trouble, but he thinks that they should at least give it a good ol' try.]

[peridork]

[Once upon a time Peridot would have missed that sarcasm completely. Unfortunately, she's gotten a lot better at picking it up, and a brief flash of suspicious annoyance flits across her features before she opts to just ignore it and move on.]

Mmm... I suppose I could do that. [She's not much for social gatherings, but...] Where are you assigned to work?

[daintylegs]

I work in the cargo bay!

Since you hate relaxing so much maybe you can come help out sometime. We can talk and stuff too. Multitasking and all that.

[peridork]

[A short, incredulous, derisive laugh.]

I don't do hard labor or heavy lifting. But I can certainly drop by and fill you in some time, if that is the best location to meet you at.