text; + action options

[sketchycharacter]

[The following is actually a series of three separate posts to the network; all three are posted in fairly quick succession, likely before anyone can reply to the first two, though they are open to comments.]

how do you make it so not everyone can read one of these things

[like thirty seconds later]

oh

[a couple of minutes later LOCKED FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE NAMED ELENA FISHER]

so a bunch of people use this system to pour their hearts out and get other people to do the same which usually seems weird to me. i mean just because you say it over the mid doesn't mean you won't run into people later and make it really weird and awkward. i don't know maybe that's just me.

except what the hell i'm pretty drunk right now so why the fuck not!

RIDDLE ME THIS, CREWMATES. pretend for a minute that you're a complete asshole who somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to marry you, fucked it up real fast like dropped a grenade on it bad BECAUSE you're a complete asshole, got her to take you back and start over and then fucked it up again.

what do you do? asking for a friend.

also the first person to make a suggestion that actually works can have some of my alcohol stash. everyone else can fuck off i'm not sharing.

[action options - feel free to go from a network thread to one of these]

[OPTION 1: DRUNK. Nate is pretty toasted as he wanders around the ship, but not so much than he has trouble getting around with just an occasional stumble. Alcohol tends to loosen his lips, so he'll gladly (well, not he's not real glad about anything right now) talk to anyone who makes the poor life decision to talk to him first.

[OPTION 2: DRUNKER. Jeez, he's getting to be a real mess now. Nate makes a trip to where the Mess Hall used to be so he can pour one out in honor of the lost bar. What a hideous waste of alcohol. Afterward, he visits the observation deck to drunkenly look at the stars, and will stay there.

[OPTION 3: DRUNKEST. Oh god he's so unhappy. Look at this complete wreck of a man who's making the observation deck a pretty unpleasant place to be. He is completely wasted. (Existing CR only for this option please—basically, if they've had at least one conversation, you're good.)]

Comments

[arcreact]

You -

[ What ]

What.

You walked out on her? What the hell for? That is next-level bad.

A+ icon selection

[sketchycharacter]

Right? And then she snuck me into a country!

[He kind of waves his arm in a gesture that is (somehow) meant to demonstrate what a good and unselfish and way better person Elena is, as if Tony has the slightest context to their pre-Moira lives beyond Nate obviously being a fuckup.]

I don't—don't—deserve her.

[Is the repetition for emphasis or to overcome drunken slurring? Why not both?]

[arcreact]

[ BLUNTLY, ] Probably not.

[ He tries to imagine a situation like this between himself and Pepper, but just - can't. Walking out would take a level of self-sabotage even he's not capable of, and he's Tony Stark. Good job, Drake. ]

But if she still put up with you after that, it's pretty clear she's set on wanting you anyway.

[sketchycharacter]

[Yay, he's finally the best at something. Yay.]

Then she's pretty dumb about romance.

[Where is the lie?

Nate sighs and props himself up so he's leaning back against his hands, palms pressed on the floor. When's the last time someone mopped in here?]

Y'ever get caught up in something, like really caught up, and everyone around you can see that it's a bad idea and going to fuck up your life but you insist that it isn't and keep going and fuck things up yourself by walking away from the people who know better?

[arcreact]

[ HA HA HA HA HA HA HA haaaaaaaa ]

Yup.

[ He's self-aware. ]

It usually doesn't work out, as I'm sure you've noticed.

[sketchycharacter]

Nah, I have no idea. I didn't say I did that, I asked if you did.

[The exaggerated smirk he has now isn't really directed at Tony. It's not like he really expects the guy to believe it. It's self-hating drunk humor or something.]

Figured we were past all that. Whoops, guess not.

[arcreact]

[ Tony knows that humor because that's his humor. He trademarked it, buddy. Step off. ]

Right, my bad. Forgive me. I've terribly misjudged you and your three drunken text posts.

[sketchycharacter]

[Fight him for it.]

You're forgiven.

[So magnanimous.]

Gimme time and another bottle, maybe I'll make it four.

[arcreact]

Only if I get to help author the next one.

And you might wanna pace yourself on the booze. What're you gonna do the next time you fuck up if you go through your whole stash now?

[sketchycharacter]

I get final approval rights over the content and done.

[Geez Tony, stop making good points. He thought you were friends.]

Do I look like a guy who's thinking that far ahead?

[arcreact]

Nope. Why do you think I hauled myself up here? I can tell when somebody's making terrible alcohol-related decisions.

[ The terrible decision being a lack of rationing, in this case, and not the drunken bender itself. Obviously. ]

[sketchycharacter]

[Obviously.]

You gonna join the parade of advice-giving? Gifts, groveling, etc.?

[arcreact]

Why, 'cause you think I'd actually have any decent wisdom on that front? When my girlfriend was pissed at me, I made it up to her by bringing her a box of the one thing in the whole world she's allergic to.

[ A beat. ]

I guess I could tell you not to do that, specifically.

[sketchycharacter]

Noted.

[It's good advice, actually. Probably not relevant, since he can't think of any allergies Elena has, but good all the same.]

Dunno why I bothered asking for help anyway. [Probably because he's drunk.] Flowers and presents don't really cut it after I probably made her regret taking me back.

[His voice sounds thick. Fuck, is he gonna cry?]

[arcreact]

[ BRO. DON'T. DO NOT. ]

Not that I don't respect some good old fashioned self-pity, but you just said she's pretty dumb about romance. I mean, she's stuck it out this long already. It might not be the end of the world.

[sketchycharacter]

[No tears fall and his eyes don't even got that trying-to-hold-back sparkly look, but damn does he sound like they should.]

Doesn't have to be. I gave her plenty of reasons to be done with me. Probably had this coming.

[arcreact]

[ Yeeeeeeeeahhh...

Tony is uncharacteristically silent and contemplative for a long moment, before sliding a long metal rod out of his toolbelt - a now-permanent feature, given the status of the ship and its residents. While Nate is busy moping, he jabs him in the side with it.

It administers a harmless but thorough static shock, pointy-ness aside. ]

[sketchycharacter]

[Nate's reaction is drastic and immediate. He jolts upright, arms flailing, and nearly keels over before he balances himself and gives Tony a terribly betrayed look.]

Ow! What was that for?

[arcreact]

I wanted to see if moping is impervious to electricity or not. I'm a scientist.

[ He gives the thing a fond look before pocketing it again. Always serves him well. ]

Turns out it's not. Electroshock therapy looking more and more viable by the second.

[sketchycharacter]

[This is where Nate would shoot back with a witty, snarky comment, buuuut he's too drunk.]

Well don't do it again! I've got a pretty good reason to mope, don't you think?

[Might be time to break out the tazer again...]

[arcreact]

Nobody's dead.

[ Dis fucker. ]

I'm telling you your moping's premature. C'mon.

[sketchycharacter]

[Well, a lot of people are actually, but that's not what this is about. He's not mourning for the Caducans whose attack turned them part glass.]

Maybe. But if you've got a better idea about how to spend my time, I'm all ears.

[arcreact]

[ Tony's very dutifully not thinking about the Actually Dead People, just the two Very Alive People related to this conversation. ]

Ordinarily I'd make a few suggestions, but I think you've hit the point of sloshed where they become inadvisable.

... Or more fun, I guess.

[sketchycharacter]

[Nate waves his hand in the air, vaguely encouraging Tony.]

Eh. Hit me. Figuratively speaking.

[arcreact]

Since you insist.

I've been tasked with the production of science lab moonshine. Concept: drunk lab assistance.

[ Why NOT have a drunk asshole help you revolutionize the production of moonshine. ]