text; + action options

[sketchycharacter]

[The following is actually a series of three separate posts to the network; all three are posted in fairly quick succession, likely before anyone can reply to the first two, though they are open to comments.]

how do you make it so not everyone can read one of these things

[like thirty seconds later]

oh

[a couple of minutes later LOCKED FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE NAMED ELENA FISHER]

so a bunch of people use this system to pour their hearts out and get other people to do the same which usually seems weird to me. i mean just because you say it over the mid doesn't mean you won't run into people later and make it really weird and awkward. i don't know maybe that's just me.

except what the hell i'm pretty drunk right now so why the fuck not!

RIDDLE ME THIS, CREWMATES. pretend for a minute that you're a complete asshole who somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to marry you, fucked it up real fast like dropped a grenade on it bad BECAUSE you're a complete asshole, got her to take you back and start over and then fucked it up again.

what do you do? asking for a friend.

also the first person to make a suggestion that actually works can have some of my alcohol stash. everyone else can fuck off i'm not sharing.

[action options - feel free to go from a network thread to one of these]

[OPTION 1: DRUNK. Nate is pretty toasted as he wanders around the ship, but not so much than he has trouble getting around with just an occasional stumble. Alcohol tends to loosen his lips, so he'll gladly (well, not he's not real glad about anything right now) talk to anyone who makes the poor life decision to talk to him first.

[OPTION 2: DRUNKER. Jeez, he's getting to be a real mess now. Nate makes a trip to where the Mess Hall used to be so he can pour one out in honor of the lost bar. What a hideous waste of alcohol. Afterward, he visits the observation deck to drunkenly look at the stars, and will stay there.

[OPTION 3: DRUNKEST. Oh god he's so unhappy. Look at this complete wreck of a man who's making the observation deck a pretty unpleasant place to be. He is completely wasted. (Existing CR only for this option please—basically, if they've had at least one conversation, you're good.)]

Comments

[arcreact]

Why, 'cause you think I'd actually have any decent wisdom on that front? When my girlfriend was pissed at me, I made it up to her by bringing her a box of the one thing in the whole world she's allergic to.

[ A beat. ]

I guess I could tell you not to do that, specifically.

[sketchycharacter]

Noted.

[It's good advice, actually. Probably not relevant, since he can't think of any allergies Elena has, but good all the same.]

Dunno why I bothered asking for help anyway. [Probably because he's drunk.] Flowers and presents don't really cut it after I probably made her regret taking me back.

[His voice sounds thick. Fuck, is he gonna cry?]

[arcreact]

[ BRO. DON'T. DO NOT. ]

Not that I don't respect some good old fashioned self-pity, but you just said she's pretty dumb about romance. I mean, she's stuck it out this long already. It might not be the end of the world.

[sketchycharacter]

[No tears fall and his eyes don't even got that trying-to-hold-back sparkly look, but damn does he sound like they should.]

Doesn't have to be. I gave her plenty of reasons to be done with me. Probably had this coming.

[arcreact]

[ Yeeeeeeeeahhh...

Tony is uncharacteristically silent and contemplative for a long moment, before sliding a long metal rod out of his toolbelt - a now-permanent feature, given the status of the ship and its residents. While Nate is busy moping, he jabs him in the side with it.

It administers a harmless but thorough static shock, pointy-ness aside. ]

[sketchycharacter]

[Nate's reaction is drastic and immediate. He jolts upright, arms flailing, and nearly keels over before he balances himself and gives Tony a terribly betrayed look.]

Ow! What was that for?

[arcreact]

I wanted to see if moping is impervious to electricity or not. I'm a scientist.

[ He gives the thing a fond look before pocketing it again. Always serves him well. ]

Turns out it's not. Electroshock therapy looking more and more viable by the second.

[sketchycharacter]

[This is where Nate would shoot back with a witty, snarky comment, buuuut he's too drunk.]

Well don't do it again! I've got a pretty good reason to mope, don't you think?

[Might be time to break out the tazer again...]

[arcreact]

Nobody's dead.

[ Dis fucker. ]

I'm telling you your moping's premature. C'mon.

[sketchycharacter]

[Well, a lot of people are actually, but that's not what this is about. He's not mourning for the Caducans whose attack turned them part glass.]

Maybe. But if you've got a better idea about how to spend my time, I'm all ears.

[arcreact]

[ Tony's very dutifully not thinking about the Actually Dead People, just the two Very Alive People related to this conversation. ]

Ordinarily I'd make a few suggestions, but I think you've hit the point of sloshed where they become inadvisable.

... Or more fun, I guess.

[sketchycharacter]

[Nate waves his hand in the air, vaguely encouraging Tony.]

Eh. Hit me. Figuratively speaking.

[arcreact]

Since you insist.

I've been tasked with the production of science lab moonshine. Concept: drunk lab assistance.

[ Why NOT have a drunk asshole help you revolutionize the production of moonshine. ]

[sketchycharacter]

[Why not indeed.]

You don't need a lab for that. I've seen guys in prison make alcohol with like...a sock.

...science moonshine probably tastes better though.

[arcreact]

...

You were in prison long enough to witness sockbooze?

[sketchycharacter]

Been in and out since I was like fifteen. I didn't drink the sockbooze. It was always started before I ever came around.

[Besides, he never lasted very long. Sully or Sam would always get him out.]

[arcreact]

[ Of course. Why not? It's not like this contradicts anything he already knows about this guy. ]

This is all so much information in such a short amount of time. I'm overwhelmed.

[sketchycharacter]

[In some ways, what you see with Nate is absolutely what you get.]

You can cope, Tony. I believe in you.

[arcreact]

You're challenging me, but I've survived worse, believe it or not.

[sketchycharacter]

Yeah, me too. I fell out of a plane once, into the desert. Like two months ago. And look at me now!

[He throws his arms out in a grand gesture, knocking over an empty bottle. Look at him, he's drunk. But he's alive to be drunk.]

[arcreact]

You fell out of a plane.

[ ???? Okay. He doesn't even bat an eye as that bottle goes rolling across the observation deck's floor. ]

Do you have a job, or do you just screw around all day?

[sketchycharacter]

I'm a treasure hunter. It's kind of a freelance thing.

[Self-employment with a shady accountant who makes his and Sully's business dealings look vaguely legit for taxes purposes.]

Before you ask, yes that means I'm a thief. Sometimes!

[Not everything he goes after is pre-owned, at least not by anyone alive.]

[arcreact]

[ OK BUT HE APPARENTLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU STEAL PEOPLE'S OLD JUNK. ]

Are you seriously telling me you break into old temples in the desert in search of timeless artifacts?

[sketchycharacter]

That was one time and it wasn't to find a temple, it was to find the lost city of Ubar. Iram of the Pillars.

[Well, by the time of the crash, it was really to find Sully, but whatever. Details.]

The really good temples tend to be in the jungle. Easy to get swallowed up by nature that way. Or Shambhala--Shangri-La--in Nepal, that was like...all temples.

[arcreact]

Bullshit. That's not even a real place.

[ Which is deliberately selective skepticism at this point, because he's literally had conversations with Gundams who swear up and down that they're not Gundams, but. ]

You're literally Indiana Jones.