text; + action options

[sketchycharacter]

[The following is actually a series of three separate posts to the network; all three are posted in fairly quick succession, likely before anyone can reply to the first two, though they are open to comments.]

how do you make it so not everyone can read one of these things

[like thirty seconds later]

oh

[a couple of minutes later LOCKED FROM CERTAIN PEOPLE NAMED ELENA FISHER]

so a bunch of people use this system to pour their hearts out and get other people to do the same which usually seems weird to me. i mean just because you say it over the mid doesn't mean you won't run into people later and make it really weird and awkward. i don't know maybe that's just me.

except what the hell i'm pretty drunk right now so why the fuck not!

RIDDLE ME THIS, CREWMATES. pretend for a minute that you're a complete asshole who somehow got the most amazing woman in the world to marry you, fucked it up real fast like dropped a grenade on it bad BECAUSE you're a complete asshole, got her to take you back and start over and then fucked it up again.

what do you do? asking for a friend.

also the first person to make a suggestion that actually works can have some of my alcohol stash. everyone else can fuck off i'm not sharing.

[action options - feel free to go from a network thread to one of these]

[OPTION 1: DRUNK. Nate is pretty toasted as he wanders around the ship, but not so much than he has trouble getting around with just an occasional stumble. Alcohol tends to loosen his lips, so he'll gladly (well, not he's not real glad about anything right now) talk to anyone who makes the poor life decision to talk to him first.

[OPTION 2: DRUNKER. Jeez, he's getting to be a real mess now. Nate makes a trip to where the Mess Hall used to be so he can pour one out in honor of the lost bar. What a hideous waste of alcohol. Afterward, he visits the observation deck to drunkenly look at the stars, and will stay there.

[OPTION 3: DRUNKEST. Oh god he's so unhappy. Look at this complete wreck of a man who's making the observation deck a pretty unpleasant place to be. He is completely wasted. (Existing CR only for this option please—basically, if they've had at least one conversation, you're good.)]

Comments

[arcreact]

Since you insist.

I've been tasked with the production of science lab moonshine. Concept: drunk lab assistance.

[ Why NOT have a drunk asshole help you revolutionize the production of moonshine. ]

[sketchycharacter]

[Why not indeed.]

You don't need a lab for that. I've seen guys in prison make alcohol with like...a sock.

...science moonshine probably tastes better though.

[arcreact]

...

You were in prison long enough to witness sockbooze?

[sketchycharacter]

Been in and out since I was like fifteen. I didn't drink the sockbooze. It was always started before I ever came around.

[Besides, he never lasted very long. Sully or Sam would always get him out.]

[arcreact]

[ Of course. Why not? It's not like this contradicts anything he already knows about this guy. ]

This is all so much information in such a short amount of time. I'm overwhelmed.

[sketchycharacter]

[In some ways, what you see with Nate is absolutely what you get.]

You can cope, Tony. I believe in you.

[arcreact]

You're challenging me, but I've survived worse, believe it or not.

[sketchycharacter]

Yeah, me too. I fell out of a plane once, into the desert. Like two months ago. And look at me now!

[He throws his arms out in a grand gesture, knocking over an empty bottle. Look at him, he's drunk. But he's alive to be drunk.]

[arcreact]

You fell out of a plane.

[ ???? Okay. He doesn't even bat an eye as that bottle goes rolling across the observation deck's floor. ]

Do you have a job, or do you just screw around all day?

[sketchycharacter]

I'm a treasure hunter. It's kind of a freelance thing.

[Self-employment with a shady accountant who makes his and Sully's business dealings look vaguely legit for taxes purposes.]

Before you ask, yes that means I'm a thief. Sometimes!

[Not everything he goes after is pre-owned, at least not by anyone alive.]

[arcreact]

[ OK BUT HE APPARENTLY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT IF YOU STEAL PEOPLE'S OLD JUNK. ]

Are you seriously telling me you break into old temples in the desert in search of timeless artifacts?

[sketchycharacter]

That was one time and it wasn't to find a temple, it was to find the lost city of Ubar. Iram of the Pillars.

[Well, by the time of the crash, it was really to find Sully, but whatever. Details.]

The really good temples tend to be in the jungle. Easy to get swallowed up by nature that way. Or Shambhala--Shangri-La--in Nepal, that was like...all temples.

[arcreact]

Bullshit. That's not even a real place.

[ Which is deliberately selective skepticism at this point, because he's literally had conversations with Gundams who swear up and down that they're not Gundams, but. ]

You're literally Indiana Jones.

[sketchycharacter]

You'd think so, right?

[Nate waves him off with a scornful look and a 'psssht' sound at the comparison, though.]

Indiana Jones doesn't get shot at as much as me. [And he's seen the movies, so he knows the implications of what he's saying.] Or destroy as many lost cities as me.

[Well, two.]

[arcreact]

[ Ok. The question is inevitable. ]

Which is how many, exactly?

[sketchycharacter]

[Nate expression shifts to one of deep concentration, as if he's calling forth memories upon memories.]

Two.

[Which is two more than most people.]

[arcreact]

[ NATE... ]

... How.

[sketchycharacter]

First one exploded, second one sort of collapsed into the desert.

[He shrugs. It's not that complicated to him; there are only a few ways to effectively destroy entire cities.]

Turns out if you have a shootout with a megalomaniacal warlord at the foot of a world tree that leaks explosive sap, stuff blows up real good. [He shrugs.] Dunno about Iram, though. I guess I blew up the central cistern and things escalated.

[He didn't stick around to conduct an investigation on the city's structural integrity. He got his ass out of there.]

[arcreact]

[ There are ten very long seconds of Tony staring at him in judging silence. ]

I mean, you're drunk, so I can't exactly hold it against you. But you are so full of shit.

[sketchycharacter]

Nope. Ask Chloe about the first one, she was there and not bleeding out from grenade shrapnel at the time. You could ask Elena about the second one except she hasn't experienced that yet. Be a lot easier if she had.

[Aaaand it's time for another DRINK.]

[arcreact]

[ He should probably tell Nate to lay off..... ... ..

Nah. ]

Is Chloe an actual person, or is this an "ask Jerry, our non-existent coworker who fields all questions" situation?

[sketchycharacter]

Chloe is literally a real person and also the last woman I banged before Elena. Like right before Elena, cuz I went to Nepal with Chloe and came back with my future wife. She is here on the Moira right now.

[He pulls up his MID and starts scrolling through contacts.]

We're still friends.

[arcreact]

[ CONVERSATIONS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD NOT OCCUR DRUNK: THIS ONE. ]

Okay, first of all, defining people by the order in which you banged them sounds like the kind of thing a douchier me from the past would do.

Second of all, did you seriously dump someone to pick up someone else with life-threatening injuries?

[sketchycharacter]

No! Jesus.

[Nate gives Tony a scornful look, like he's the jerk.]

Chloe did the dumping when she pulled a gun on me because I wouldn't leave Elena's buddy Cameraman Jeff, who was bleeding from a gut shot FYI. Anyway Elena and I'd already dated once before and broke up, but when we teamed to stop Lazarevic it was like...feelings coming up 'n stuff. We didn't get back together until after she was okay.

[arcreact]

I just - look.

I think I need a spaghetti chart to keep your dumbass soap opera life straight. How do you keep it straight? I bet you have an evil twin and a 10 year old kid you only just met six months ago.