Text;

[allyisun]

[Allison does her best to lock this post from any kids on board, but pretty drunk and mostly just squinting at people's icons to make her choices. Nico Robin and Peter Maximoff are definitely excluded. Just in case, she adds a disclaimer.]

THIS IS AN ADULT ONLY POST. IF U ARE UNDER 18 DO NOT READ.

ACTUALLY IF UR UNDER 20 DO NOT READ

OR 21?

okay but like shit is going down soon and it is absolutely imperative that I get laid

So I need someone to get laid with

OK?

Comments

[allyisun]

I mean, I dunno...

[With a heavy sigh, Allison crosses her arms on the counter and pillows her head in them.]

I don't even know if I am single? Fuck, is this cheating? Am I a bad person?

[squadgoals]

[Well, there's a complication. She swaps looks with J, who looks all the world like a smug cat, then back at Allison.]

Tell you what — you explain your situation, and I'll tell you if you're a bad person or not.

[gentlemenpreferblondes]

[Now things are getting interesting. Allison's frustration and anguish only boosts J's smugness even more. She quickly moves her eyes from Allison to meet Shepard's before she pulls out two more glasses behind the counter, filling them with the same liquor as Allison's and places them on the top of the bar.

Really, if they are going to listen Allison's relationship drama they better have something to drink.]

[allyisun]

Ugh. Uuuugh. [Time to hide her face in her arms so everything comes out muffled.]

So I was dating this guy, Zaid? Like, not for very long, and I guess he was kind of a jerk but-

[She turns her face so she's easier to hear but refuses to look at anyone.]

Okay, but, I was trying to get laid and this creepy guy showed up in my room and then these other guys rode through and cut off his head and kidnapped Zaid?

[Sitting up slightly, she drags a hand down her face.]

Some weird stuff happened and I went to rescue him but I ended up here and now it's been months and I don't think I want to keep dating him but I can't officially break up because he's in another universe!

[Deep breaths, Allison.]

OLD PRE-HIATUS THREAD FEEL FREE TO DROP p_q

[squadgoals]

[Shep's already drinking the proffered alcohol before Allison starts, nodding helpfully as she talks. She waits patiently, letting her get it all out, and digests it slowly before answering:]

So, in summary: your relationship status currently reads "it's complicated".

[She leans on the bar, swirling the ice in the now-empty glass, before replacing it hopefully with a look at J.]

As for the bad person thing, well... I don't think bad people worry about whether or not they're cheating on jerks. Morally-speaking, you're on the good side. What do you want to do now?