text ★ 003 (end of Mar 20)

[sidecars]

Welp
I'm drunk in bed all alone on my birthday
Someone should come fix this

[ And a few moment later, Bucky edits his transmission for clarity and crowd control. And disappointed parent faces. ]

And if that wasn't implicitly clear
This is an adult slumber party
With adult activities
And adult drinks
In adult situations

[ So, chilluns, please don't come in here harshing Bucky's boner okay? HE'S LOOKING AT YOU, LINK!! DON'T YOU COME IN HERE WITH YOUR QUESTIONS. ]

Comments

[sidecars]

Wow speak for yourself
I am a spry 21 today
You're on your own with that mid-life crisis

Although I hear 21 year olds are really good at combating those

[ WOW BUCKY NO ]

[ersatzeverything]

Bummer. I hear that existential miseries love company.

I thought step one was getting a red convertible and then a 21 year old.

[sidecars]

[ He's assuming you are talking about a type of automobile. ]

I'm more of a motorcycle fella myself

[ersatzeverything]

Hey, these hallways are probably wide enough to ride a motorcycle through them, so that'd be way better than a convertible. Maybe the Ingress will spit out one. Then I'd just need to find myself a hot 21 year old and and a new leather jacket and I'll be all ready for a proper mid-life crisis.

[Not that he knows how to drive or ride a motorcycle, all vehicles being 200 year old rusted out heaps where he's from.]

[sidecars]

[ WOW W O W Deacon way to deflate Bucky's ego ]

Sounds like you got it all figured out, old man!

[ersatzeverything]

[Deacon too much likes to take the piss out of people.]

Yeah, if I don't need a walker by then. It's gonna be a close thing.

[Including taking the piss out of himself.]

[sidecars]

Well you're in luck being on a super swell spaceship tehn
I'm sure they can fasten you with a young robot body that'll keep up with your 21 yo

[ersatzeverything]

I'd think having a robot body would kind of defeat the purpose of having a 21 year old.

[sidecars]

Maybe they can make you a sex robot
They got to have those right?

[ersatzeverything]

[Bucky says "sex robot" and Deacon thinks of something like this.]

Yeah, I don't see that working out. Finding a hot 21 year old robot fetishist to sooth my aging ego is probably asking too much.

[sidecars]

[ Sweet Jesus ]

Hmm you do have a point
Better get on finding yourself a 21 yo then
Time's awastin'

[ersatzeverything]

Oh look, I totally found one on the other end my the MID. That was fast.

[sidecars]

Hey! What luck
Better catch it
Time's not on either side

[ersatzeverything]

What's that take? Nets? Ropes? Bait?

[Flirting. Flirting is fun. Flirting is sass and bullshit, which are two of his favorite ways of communicating.]

[sidecars]

A net sounds the most entertaining
But bait sounds the most plausible
Maybe another bottle of booze to lure it in?
Hard to go wrong with that kind of invitation

[ersatzeverything]

How about I deliver?

[He can drop off a bottle of good liquor, wish him a happy birthday, and then leave and let Bucky find a nice girl or boy who doesn't have four decades of baggage and neuroses.]

[sidecars]

Yeah?
That a bonafide offer there, pal?
Bring whatever
No whiskey, though
I want to enjoy the night, not start a fight

[ That's important. ]

Better grab another glass
I only got one

[ HINT HINT maybe he likes forty year old baggage when he's drunk, man. You dunno! ]

[ersatzeverything]

It's a bona fide offer. No bullshit. I'm a nice guy like that.

Where am I delivering?

[sidecars]

Yeah something tells me that is so not the case
But we'll worry about that at a later date

[ You know, when he's not at the mercy of you bringing him more liquor. ]

Mero 7
No
Moro 7

[ersatzeverything]

I wouldn't lie to a guy on his birthday.

[That's a lie, yes he would. But he will bring liquor.

It takes about 15 minutes to get to the bar and get a bottle of gold rum and another five to make his way to the room Bucky told him. He hopes it really is Moro and not Mero deck or else some stranger is going to be very confused. He knocks at the door.]

Hey, FCS, booze delivery for you.

[sidecars]

Oh boy!

[ It's shouted from his side of the door. There's a sudden thump when Bucky jumps off the top bed and tromps over to the door to unlock it.

Thankfully for Deacon, he actually decided to put on pants for this delivery. The thermal shirt never got that far, but that's alright. He's too drunk enough to care about the scars. ]

Thanks, sailor.

[ersatzeverything]

Sailor? I'm not wearing the right suit for that game.

[He holds out the bottle.]

Happy birthday! Or as we say in the wasteland, congratulations on surviving this long! [They don't really say that, but looking at the scars on Bucky's chest, it's probably as apt for him as it is in the wasteland.]

[sidecars]

[ This is true and it's very disappointing. You need to start expecting these curve balls, Deacon. Like a sailor uniform. ]

Gosh, how hardcore! [ He takes it and then coos. ] Ohh rum. That'll go good with everything else!

[ Bucky is going to feel like a million shitty bucks tomorrow. ]

You gonna help share in the responsibility here?

[ Bucky shakes the bottle a little back and forth. C'moooon, drunken mistakes with a 21 yo, what can go wrong? ]

[ersatzeverything]

[Sorry, Bucky, you just get post-apocalyptic greaser chic today, with tattered jeans and a threadbare undershirt that used to be white once upon a time.]

Glad you appreciate it.

[He should probably leave it at that, but Deacon likes booze and he likes finding out about people and this gives an opportunity for both. So, yeah, one drink, give the guy some company on his birthday, and if someone takes Bucky up on his plea for more physical company, he can give him a thumbs up and then fuck off and leave him to it.]

I'll share a drink if you tell me a little about yourself. I don't like drinking with strangers, so we've gotta fix that. And all I know is that you're a soldier in an Old World war and you recently discovered flavored condoms. [Hence Deacon's nickname for him, FCS, "flavored condom soldier." (Blame Kaz Miller.)]

[sidecars]

Well, unfortunately, those are probably the most interesting facts about me already!

[ Which is completely untrue, but the more entertaining war stories are classified. And if you ever tell him what FCS is he will punch you. Right in the kisser BAM! ]

Also, I'm top bunk. So let's hope you're spry, old man.

[ There's a ladder by his bed, but Bucky would prefer to jump on top with an "oomf!" and pull the rest of himself up on the big swinging bed. ]