Video:

[ersatzeverything]

[Deacon has the wig on today and sunglasses (finally got a pair thanks to the Ingress) and a black suit that was probably once very sharp but after two hundred years and a nuclear apocalypse is very much the worse for wear.]

Hey, science-y people, anyone have experience with laser guns?


[Locked to Medbay Staff]

So, totally hypothetically, if someone wanted to completely change their face, could you do it?

[He should try to hang on to the face he's got for another six months at least, but he wants to know what his options are. And wants to know whether or not he has options.]

Comments

Text;

[peridork]

Please specify what kind of laser guns. It's very likely that I can be of some service, but I need to know exactly what you are looking for.

[ersatzeverything]

Laser pistol. From Earth, circa 2077-ish, probably modded to hell and back in the two hundred years between then and now. [And since he's on video, he might as well hold it up.]

The Ingress decided to throw away my ammo, and while I'm all for pacifism, if someone shoots at me first I kind of want to be able to shoot back. So if someone could figure out a way to make ammo for this sucker for me, or, hell, get it to produce it's own energy, that'd be awesome.

text;

[peridork]

You must be from one of those alternate Earths, then. The humans definitely didn't possess such weaponry back where I come from.

Since you have the device, though, that makes the task that much simpler. At the very least, I should be able to produce some energy cells that will work with that technology... perhaps even improve it.

[ersatzeverything]

Yeah, a lot of people tell me I'm from the future. 2287. It's awesome. Except for the nuclear holocaust. That's not so great.

Hey, if you can make it shoot faster, farther, do more damage, whatever, I'm all for it. Mod it all you like. [Back home he's handed over gear to Tinker Tom often enough that he's phlegmatic about the equal possibilities of it coming back hugely upgraded or coming back in pieces. So he'll hand it over to a stranger if there's a change of improvement. He'll still have his rifle if something goes wrong.]

[peridork]

[OK that tidbit is actually kind of distracting. She zeroes right in on it.]

Nuclear holocaust?

But yes: By the time I finish with it, it will be able to do all that and more, I guarantee it.

voice;

[kidjoy]

What kind of laser gun? I know lots about 'em.

video

[ersatzeverything]

AER9 laser pistol. [He holds it up.] The Ingress didn't like me having ammo for it, so, yeah. Gotta fix that. It usually takes fusion cells but, hey, if someone can jury rig it to take something that easier to get, I'll go for it.

[kidjoy]

Doesn't look much like the blasters back home. Lot less colorful. Ought to paint it.

[Priorities.]

Anybody sayin' they'll fix it up for ya?

[ersatzeverything]

Hey, yeah, that's a good idea. Do you think you could help me with that? I'm shit at color. [Coloring is a good activity for kids, he knows that. So coloring a laser pistol is totally an appropriate entertainment.]

I've got one person who says they can get it working.

medbay lock;

[bloodbinds]

[ U H. ]

Like...plastic surgery or something like that? Or are you talking about something more extensive?

[ersatzeverything]

[Hi, this is awkward.]

Uh...like pretty extensive plastic surgery. Yeah...[He rubs his palm over his cheek.] Really extensive.

[bloodbinds]

Why? There's nothing wrong with you.

[ And is now really the time to be contemplating a nose job or something worse? ]

[ersatzeverything]

Yeah it's just...

...you know how some people get tired of the way they look and want to shake things up, dye their hair, get a piercing, whatever...yeah...it's kinda like that. Only...more.

[When he first started he used the justification that it was good for his job of spying, gathering intel. Their enemies couldn't find him as easily if he kept changing the way he looked. He still tells people that's his reason. But it's become a compulsion now, like the sunglasses and the lying. He can't stand to get too used to his own face.]

[audio;]

[trap_factory]

What's this, roomie? The Ingress gave you a present? How fortunate!

[he sounds amused but there's a hint of bitterness. Jury's still out on whether he actually misses Model W or just hates the idea of being completely unarmed]

Or... Maybe not. Too bad about your ammunition crisis.

[ersatzeverything]

At least I've still got a good old rifle with plenty of ammunition. [Just letting you know that he's still armed, in case you might be planning to slit his throat in the night, scary roomie.]

And I'm fully loaded on shades. So, I've got all the essentials, really.

[trap_factory]

Well, I suppose any weapon is better than no weapon at all... [are you sure you want to let him know it's a ranged item though?] Why, it certainly is beginning to feel like the Ingress has it out for me. Disarmed and stranded alone in a foreign space... [he laughs] I suppose I'll just have to adapt!

... What? And hide your lovely eyes from the rest of the ship? What a waste!

[ersatzeverything]

Yeah, well, I had to do something to stop people from reciting spontaneous sonnets about my beauteous azure orbs. It gets old after a while, you know?

Medbay Staff

[imaginary_wife]

I could do it, yes.

But how different do you want it?

And why?

[ersatzeverything]

[Score! Also...alien! God, Tinker Tom would be wetting his pants if he were here right now.]

How different? Very. Like "hey who is that new guy?" "I dunno, never seen him before in my life" diffierent.

Why? That gets a little more complicated. Can't we just say I like the zany fun of mixing things up now and then? Hypothetically.

By the way, nice style, Doc. I really dig the bald look. [Flattery can't hurt, can it?]

[imaginary_wife]

So you want me to change your face to be a prick. I see.

[Flattery gets many people nowhere with Doc Yewll.] Well we can change your face.

[ersatzeverything]

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. [He nods. The face changing drives most of HQ batty, so he can't argue with the Doc's assessment.]

Awesome. So, what's the procedure like? Any side effects? Limit on the number of times it can be safely done? Probability in percentage points that I accidentally end up looking like a meat fillet?

video

[diamondslap]

They set people on fire as long as they're used inside an atmosphere.

[thanks, tutorial sidequests!]

Re: video

[ersatzeverything]

Your place must have different laser guns than mine. Or else a totally different atmosphere. [With all the aliens running around here, you never know.] You'd have to modify mine in a pretty particular way to set people on fire with it. And...I think I'm happy having my gun not do that, thanks.

Re: video

[diamondslap]

Really? Is that a joke? You didn't say it like you were joking. Were you joking?

[he... doesn't want to set people on fire?]

[ersatzeverything]

I do a lot of running around tunnels and fires in enclosed spaces is not fun. For one thing, it takes ages to get the smell of smoke out of your hair, you know. [Deacon, you don't have any hair. You shave it off.]