video; I Want to Hug Every Dino But I Can't. (Can't Hug Every Dino)

[aka_pistachio]

[ Kelly Ann takes a deep breath and lets it out, tense and fidgety in front of the camera. ]

Ok. Wow, heh. This is um. Harder when I'm not on pain meds. So anyway, I don't know if everybody has noticed but like. Half the space station is fucking flooded. But this isn't about that.

Even with the cull and all, there's still a bunch of these little dinos around. [ She glances at something behind the camera and gestures, indicating it should follow. ] All the water is making them like, cold or some shit. So they're looking for warm places. You might find them like, near lamps or even in your bed in the morning. They might get attracted to appliances, like if you're baking something. Shit like that. See, here's some. I just got these towels out of the dryer and there's like these little anklyosauruses, I think, all curled up in there. Looks like two or three. They're really wiggling around in there. See if you can get a good shot.

[ The camera pans down to show the chicken-sized armored dinos burrowing into what used to be Kelly Ann's clean towels, with a similarly diminutive velociraptor looking on with an expression that is unmistakably miffed. The camera then pans back up to Kelly Ann. ]

When the dinos first showed up, Shepard said not to keep them as pets but Peter and I have had Pino this whole time and he's fine. [ She glances behind the camera again and hisses. ] Shut up he doesn't bite you that much. [ She looks back to the camera. ] And I mean. She's still in cryo so. [ She pauses just a moment. ]

So whatever. They don't all have to be used for research or killed. If you want one as a pet, let me or Peter know. We've been collecting them in my room, but I can't keep any of them. Pino has been trying to eat the others. And he gets protein cubes and jerky so he's not hungry, he's just being a little shit.

[ She glances behind the camera. ] Right. Stop rambling.

There's a bunch of different kinds, not just anklyosaurs. So whatever your favorite dinosaur is, we probably have one. Or a new favorite you don't even know about yet.

Comments

[cont. video idek]

[quickfingers]

[If you're wondering who's helping with the camera, it's ya boiii Peter Maximoff. He stays particularly quiet, letting Kelly Ann do her thing but he does seem to communicate on and off - giving Pino a soft boot over when he lashes out at another tiny dino as if to say fucking stop that. Pino then attacks his pant leg but he seems pretty okay with this. Just a regular Tuesday for him.]

Ten out of ten, would adopt another if ours wouldn't try to murder it. I wanna say he's jealous of them getting the attention but like Pistachio says, I think he's just a little shit?

[Peter artistically zooms in and out of a close up of Pino's snapping jaws.] Youuuu little shiiiit.

[aka_pistachio]

Oh my God, he's not jealous!

[ She tugs Peter's cuff out of Pino's jaws and cuddles him. (The dinosaur, naturally.) Pino trills and purrs, rubbing his head ridge on her chin. ]

See?

[ How this is supposed to prove that Pino is not jealous of her paying attention to something other than him is anybody's guess. ]

[quickfingers]

That just proves he likes you, further proving my point. Try cuddling the ugly things in your towels, see if he starts biting again.

[Considering Pino bites a lot of things for absolutely no, how this is supposed to prove he's not jealous is also anybody's guess.]

[aka_pistachio]

How am I supposed to do that when I'm holding him? I can't juggle all of them at once.

[quickfingers]

Push him aside, that's the point. [But like, he rolls his eyes with a laugh.]

I was kinda hoping he'd make friends but I don't know if he's gonna. Really need a leash for him.

video;

[ex_bossily211]

[Something about this is so oddly endearing that she just smiles like an idiot for a few seconds. She's intentionally avoided the dinos until now, but...]

I've managed to round up a small hoard of them. Any chance you might be able to take them in? I think I've got one I might hold onto, but the others need a place to go.

video;

[aka_pistachio]

Yeah we can totally take them. I'm sure somebody will want them. It's nice having a pet, I never had one before.

permavid

[healinguilt]

[ Exasperated: ] ...You're welcome to pick up all seven of them that have found their way into my room.

[ She is a cat lady. Not a mini dinosaur lady. One of which mini-dinosaurs is currently gnawing at her purse in the background of the video. ]

[aka_pistachio]

Whoa, seven? You don't want any of them? Oh, look, that one looks like a brontosaurus that's so cool!

[ She points to the one gnawing on the purse. ]

[healinguilt]

[ Oh goddammit. Naomi clicks her tongue, trying to swat it away with her hand.

Bad move, because it hisses and snaps at her. ] Now it's trying to be a brontosaurus thief, apparently, and taking my purse.

[aka_pistachio]

Do you have food in there? It might be hungry. Brontosauruses are herbivores.

[ Somebody had a very prolonged dinosaur phase as a child. ]

[healinguilt]

Are they? [ Naomi glances back towards the dino. Like hell she knows about which ones eat what. It's been at least two decades since she's ever stepped foot in a natural history museum!

And then her tongue clicks when she spots it gnawing on her purse. ] Oi, stop that-- [ Brb going to swat the mini dinosaur away. ]

If these things won't be able to find food naturally, who knows what will happen. [ A pause. ] Does this... space station ever give us the opportunity to touch down on, oh I don't know, some sort of planet we can drop them off?

video;

[januaryember]

[Beverly's in the greenery, back against a tree when she replies to the message.]

Hey- I found one of these guys, too. [She pans the camera down to her psittacosaurus, who had curled up to sleep next to Beverly.]

I tried to get him to eat some protein, but he wouldn't have it. So far he likes the grass here.

Just so you know, I'm going to be keep him.

video;

[aka_pistachio]

Right on. I figure some of them have to be herbivores, I guess? They must have been eating out of the greenery all that time there was nobody here and they were all alone.

video;

[januaryember]

Yeah.

My friend Richie's got a carnivore. I don't even want to think about how those ones survived.

[Beside her, Marvin starts to stir, his tail swishing slightly.]

I can't believe these guys have feathers and fur!

video;

[aka_pistachio]

I mean, they probably ate each other. [ Kelly Ann shrugs. ] Rules of the space... jungle.

Oh yeah you have to like, clean that shit. They get into everything and even the feathers can get all matted and it's pretty gross.

video;

[januaryember]

Probably.

[She wrinkles her nose. It's how it went, but that doesn't mean she likes it.]

Thanks for the advice- I'll try to pass it, on see if I can get my friends to listen. I doubt Richie's gonna care too much about how his Teddie looks.

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

For one I agree with mom squad, don't fucking keep those little monsters. They just need one bite of your nads and you're gone! They're creepy as hell too.

voice;

[aka_pistachio]

Hey, uh. Guess what? You don't want one, you don't have to have one.

Plenty of people on this station are creepy but nobody's suggesting we just execute them.

voice;

[brokeassgoing]

Yo, uh guess what else? No one's sayin' to kill the fuckers. Jeff Golblum would be disappointed in as all...

I'm saying they're instinctively animals that eat meat. The real thing. Thinking of them as anything but dangerous is too risky. At least no one here's a cannibal...probably.

We could set em off on the next planet we get to.

voice;

[aka_pistachio]

Dude. Yeah, they are. Did you miss the whole cull that happened? Shepard and Widowmaker and I don't know who else went around killing a shit ton of them. The rest they put in cages to experiment on.

video;

[sketchycharacter]

[Nate is incredibly amused and trying to hide it. Not trying very hard, though.]

She's going to kick your ass when she wakes up.

Re: video;

[aka_pistachio]

[ Kelly Ann's chin juts out. ]

Yeah, well. She's going to have to wake up to do that, won't she?

video;

[sketchycharacter]

Oh she will. It's Shepard, She's too goddamn stubborn to sit around in goop forever.

[Is he trying to convince himself as well as her? Maybe.]

video;

[aka_pistachio]

You can hold your breath if you want. I got shit to do.

[ She holds Pino defiantly. Because he's here and not leaving like momspeople do. ]