thisavrou

[ If anyone was hoping to see the face of a half-grown grey kitten pressed against the device, this is your lucky day because that's exactly how it starts. Said kitten manages a meow and some sniffing before her owners hand reaches in and pulls her away. ]

Thanks, Bubble. You found the record button.

[ The flattest tone in the world, right there. Bubble has clearly turned this thing on by accident and Charlie isn't sure she approves. Darn cat. ]

Go chase the dinosaurs, or something.

[ Bubble instead hops up onto the bed behind Charlie and starts playing with the girls hair and Charlie sighs like this isn't what she wanted at all.

Speaking of Dinosaurs, since this thing is now broadcasting or whatever for all residents to see, she has a question. So she turns to face the camera, lips pursed slightly and Bubble sneezes her irritation at the fact that Charlie moved. ]

Why are there dinosaurs on the station, anyway? And why does the station look like a good sneeze in the wrong spot would knock it apart?

[ She has no manners. She could have at least introduced herself. Give it a second. ]

Hi. I'm charlie. I'm ninety percent sure I'm new, but some of this place looks familiar. Or, maybe I'm just going nuts, because I'm even more certain that I'm supposed to be on islands somewhere else. Clearly, 'm not. So if anyone can give me information about where I am that wasn't provided when I first showed up? Some kind of Survival Guide or Cliffs Notes version of whatever it is you guys think a new girl should know. Thank you in advance.

clussy

(The feed comes on to Eddie sitting there looking very, very cross. He has a piece of cloth wrapped around his face, covering his nose and mouth, but anyone would be able to recognize him well enough by now. His grey eyes are fierce. Oh yeah. The entire ship is in for it.

He puts his hands up and tips his body to the left side of the screen.)

Nooooooooo Eddie. Mold in space is crazy, Eddie! Why would mold exist in space, Eddie!

(He tips his body to the right side of the screen and crosses his arms over his chest.)

Well guys, I don't know. Because I know how water and bacteria work? Because this isn't the first time I've experienced basic plumbing.

(And back to the left he goes, those hands up in the air now.)

But Eddddddie! You're just being paranoid!! Mold? On a ship! That's dumb!

(And he swivels back to the right.)

OH, I'm sorry. You're right. Why should I not be paranoid in a setting where we have next to nothing on the biological expectations of things like fucking mold?

(Eddie turns his eyes back to the camera, now just looking plain old unimpressed. He raises a finger.)

Not to say I told you so, but I totally told you so. It's kind of super hard to see, but I started having an asthmatic fit in the hall and I was like, wow, this hasn't happened in a while. And then I noticed that it was where one of the pipes had burst. And I was like, huh. Coincidence? Probably not. And guess what buckos? Mold. SPACE MOLD. Because guess what? If humans can exist on a ship, then so can bacteria and stuff like spores. Honestly. I should never listen to anyone.

We have plants here, guys, there's organic material everywhere. There's dinos running everywhere. Probably shitting in the pipes. There's actual shit in the pipes, by the way, at least some of them I assume. Organic. Material. And! On top of that! It's wet! (Wow uh, Eddie really can shriek, can't he?)

So what do we do? You should all wear face masks. Mold can cause a lot of serious health hazards. You can get respiratory infections, which if left untreated, can and WILL kill you! If your throat feels funny, that could be the mold! If your head feels funny, probably the mold! Keep your nose and mouth covered. Make sure your living areas are properly dried out. Gosh. Be careful!

(How does it feel to be parented by a literal twelve year old? Cause that definitely just happened.)

beeped

have you seen this baby godzilla?

[There's a photo of a small, mini-Compsognathus. It's clearly a young one, barely the size of a chick.]

now you have and he's the cutest fucking thing and i'm keeping him forever. i saved him from all that grey water, it was such a shitty situation.

anyway, the thing is that little teddie here isn't like littlefoot and doesn't give a shit about tree stars

so what's a fella to do? i tried the soylent crap and he got kinda bored with it. i figure he must like the taste of people directly and not processed or whatever. does anyone have a bug or mouse problem? teddie is down to be pimped out for live eats. or i at least think he might like that better.

also if anyone's got stuff i can use for a leash and collar let me know. if he's anything like me i'm going to need it

aka_pistachio

[ Kelly Ann takes a deep breath and lets it out, tense and fidgety in front of the camera. ]

Ok. Wow, heh. This is um. Harder when I'm not on pain meds. So anyway, I don't know if everybody has noticed but like. Half the space station is fucking flooded. But this isn't about that.

Even with the cull and all, there's still a bunch of these little dinos around. [ She glances at something behind the camera and gestures, indicating it should follow. ] All the water is making them like, cold or some shit. So they're looking for warm places. You might find them like, near lamps or even in your bed in the morning. They might get attracted to appliances, like if you're baking something. Shit like that. See, here's some. I just got these towels out of the dryer and there's like these little anklyosauruses, I think, all curled up in there. Looks like two or three. They're really wiggling around in there. See if you can get a good shot.

[ The camera pans down to show the chicken-sized armored dinos burrowing into what used to be Kelly Ann's clean towels, with a similarly diminutive velociraptor looking on with an expression that is unmistakably miffed. The camera then pans back up to Kelly Ann. ]

When the dinos first showed up, Shepard said not to keep them as pets but Peter and I have had Pino this whole time and he's fine. [ She glances behind the camera again and hisses. ] Shut up he doesn't bite you that much. [ She looks back to the camera. ] And I mean. She's still in cryo so. [ She pauses just a moment. ]

So whatever. They don't all have to be used for research or killed. If you want one as a pet, let me or Peter know. We've been collecting them in my room, but I can't keep any of them. Pino has been trying to eat the others. And he gets protein cubes and jerky so he's not hungry, he's just being a little shit.

[ She glances behind the camera. ] Right. Stop rambling.

There's a bunch of different kinds, not just anklyosaurs. So whatever your favorite dinosaur is, we probably have one. Or a new favorite you don't even know about yet.

Entries tagged with it: beverly marsh

video:

video 04 | Hay Fever

text | pancho vanilla

video; I Want to Hug Every Dino But I Can't. (Can't Hug Every Dino)