thisavrou | video; I Want to Hug Every Dino But I Can't. (Can't Hug Every Dino)

[ Kelly Ann takes a deep breath and lets it out, tense and fidgety in front of the camera. ]

Ok. Wow, heh. This is um. Harder when I'm not on pain meds. So anyway, I don't know if everybody has noticed but like. Half the space station is fucking flooded. But this isn't about that.

Even with the cull and all, there's still a bunch of these little dinos around. [ She glances at something behind the camera and gestures, indicating it should follow. ] All the water is making them like, cold or some shit. So they're looking for warm places. You might find them like, near lamps or even in your bed in the morning. They might get attracted to appliances, like if you're baking something. Shit like that. See, here's some. I just got these towels out of the dryer and there's like these little anklyosauruses, I think, all curled up in there. Looks like two or three. They're really wiggling around in there. See if you can get a good shot.

[ The camera pans down to show the chicken-sized armored dinos burrowing into what used to be Kelly Ann's clean towels, with a similarly diminutive velociraptor looking on with an expression that is unmistakably miffed. The camera then pans back up to Kelly Ann. ]

When the dinos first showed up, Shepard said not to keep them as pets but Peter and I have had Pino this whole time and he's fine. [ She glances behind the camera again and hisses. ] Shut up he doesn't bite you that much. [ She looks back to the camera. ] And I mean. She's still in cryo so. [ She pauses just a moment. ]

So whatever. They don't all have to be used for research or killed. If you want one as a pet, let me or Peter know. We've been collecting them in my room, but I can't keep any of them. Pino has been trying to eat the others. And he gets protein cubes and jerky so he's not hungry, he's just being a little shit.

[ She glances behind the camera. ] Right. Stop rambling.

There's a bunch of different kinds, not just anklyosaurs. So whatever your favorite dinosaur is, we probably have one. Or a new favorite you don't even know about yet.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No I WAS ON THE TOILET FOR THE CULLING!! I had to live through-- what happened there was necessary to protect our asses!

....What kind of dumbass experiments on animals that are smart enough to get out of cages and kill us in our sleep?? I hope it's experimenting on makeup and not...super science.

You should get more fiber in your diet that cull lasted days.

And I don't fucking know, it wasn't my idea. Ask Shepard whenever she decides to rejoin the land of the living.

I wasn't on the toilet for days. If we're apparently killin' em now maybe I can have some dino baloney.

Maybe I will...though she'll probably have a long line of people coming to visit.

Baloney isn't going to help that problem. You need like, kale. Industrial strength kale.

Yeah probably. And way too fucking busy to worry about whatever I'm doing.

FUCK THAT! Kale tastes like feet, dude.

Unleeesss one of these bozos not desperate for a house pet tattles on you.

Are you trying to like, threaten me or something? I don't give a shit. She's not actually in charge of anything. And she's not here. I don't care who you tell.

But seriously, dude. Fiber. Look into it.

You should be worrying about me threatening you with kale at this rate.

I ain't a snitch unless I get paid for it, hell no. I'm just gonna laugh cause I told you so.

So you have the personality of a twelve year-old to go along with the taste buds. Alright. Anyway it's a free... space station. Do what you want.

Excuse you, my taste buds are shit because I smoke. Second, least I don't got the personality of a bleeding heart.

Are you trying to insult me by pointing out that I care about things?

Basically yes. Yeah, very much. But only lightly, though.

Alright well, whatever you need to do for entertainment around here, I guess.

It's either this or dinos.

You want a dino? Some of these carnivore fuckers will definitely agree with you on the "caring about shit" score.

No thanks, I've only had pet fish and they weren't the happiest floppers around.

Come on, these guys survived a couple hundred years without help. They're like, as low-maintenance as it gets.

[ Don't make her start playing Sarah McLaughlin ]

No way! This is exactly why I like a good goldfish and not a piranha.

[he just changes the channel when that happens
and he's immune to puppy dog eyes]

Most of them are herbivores, you know. A tiny bronto would be a super cool companion.

I don't got the patience, for one. Didn't get the impression most of em ate grass, thought it was the ankle biters.

I think at this point that most of them are like, omnivorous. And most of them will bite. They just don't all eat meat.

Come on. You never wanted a pet dinosaur? Live the dream, dude!

I don't wanna get anything that bites, I'm not a sadist like you fuckers.

I wanted a pony and to win the lottery. Not surprised you've always wanted one.

Ponies bite. And you must have been a pretty lonely kid if you made fun of everybody who thought dinosaurs were cool.

I was a shitty kid, but I didn't make fun of em too much. Don't think most were interested in them? Were you, then?

Land Before Time had like, 18 sequels and they're still making Jurassic Parks. It's not an unusual thing.

You telling me that one made you like dinos more? It was so sad, dude, the hell?? Jurassic Parks are classics....I admit that.

voice;

aka_pistachio - 2018-01-31 08:24 (UTC) - Expand

brokeassgoing - 2018-02-01 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

aka_pistachio - 2018-02-03 07:26 (UTC) - Expand

brokeassgoing - 2018-02-04 01:24 (UTC) - Expand

aka_pistachio - 2018-02-05 05:39 (UTC) - Expand

brokeassgoing - 2018-02-05 06:12 (UTC) - Expand