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[diamondslap]

Hello.
This is Aurelia Hammerlock, Baroness and one of your new Arbitration Officers.
I've only been here for several days, but it's plain to see that all your problems are entirely, completely and obnoxiously boring.

[speaking of obnoxious...]

If you have such a severe lack of common sense that you actually require my services, please ensure that it's for something interesting.
Anything else will be disregarded and most likely laughed at.

Comments

[warandpeace]

I'm not too worried about it. I can use the free time to adapt. [Figure out what to do with himself.]

Personal Defense Specialist.

[diamondslap]

That's an awful lot of words for "I sit around doing sod-all every day."
What type of defence?

[warandpeace]

Depends on your definition of sod-all. It probably suits yours. Not so much mine. This place is new to me. So if I'm going to train, I need to adapt.

Depends on what people need. I'm an expert in guerrilla warfare. I tailor my training and challenges to suit people's abilities and needs. If you need quiet infiltration? I do that. If you need to defend yourself physically? Use weapons? Disarm people? I do that.

[At least that's how he intends to do the job.]

[diamondslap]

Adaptation isn't too hard, darling.

[then again, aurelia is a sniper. all she has to do is make sure she can find somewhere high enough to sit.]

Now, that's almost interesting.
I'm shocked.

[warandpeace]

Almost. Need to make a few requests before I can make actually interesting.

What's your usual skill set?

[Outside of being easily bored, he guesses.]

[diamondslap]

You do.
I've had all sorts of weapons training.
I'm better at killing from a distance.
Or freezing targets solid and smashing them.
Either or, really.
It's all the same to me.

[warandpeace]

From a distance. I can work with that.

Better with which, rocket launchers or sniper rifles?

[diamondslap]

Again, either or.
I've used both.
My speciality is sniper, though, darling.
I'm one of the best.

[warandpeace]

Hopefully better than the sniper I know.

[Who, in his opinion, is a parasite ridden skank who he'll be happy to never see again.]

I'll keep it in mind.

[diamondslap]

Of course I am.
You don't survive what I have by being terrible.

[warandpeace]

Were you allowed to bring any weapons I could have a look at?

[diamondslap]

No.
You shan't be laying a hand on my guns.
Just imagine the most perfectly calibrated and decorated ones you possibly can.
Mine are better.

[warandpeace]

Fair enough. [He's not really offended by that. After all, weapons are pretty important here.]

And how are you at working from scratch?

[diamondslap]

I'm fabulous at survival, and that's practically all survival is.