retrovirion: you're a dick (wait i'm getting a message)
peter "ɪ·ᴍ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ" parker. ([personal profile] retrovirion) wrote in [community profile] thisavrou2017-07-30 11:04 pm

video.

[ so

GUESS WHO'S NERVOUS

also second, "guess who" but more literally, because this message contains only the TAB signature of one lady hawke - peter knows better than to connect his own TAB to his spider-man stuff, okay.

third guess (the charm) who's totally playing it off by being a cool guy, having totally hit record on the TAB remotely, so he's already squared off inside the video feed. congratulations to a head-and-shoulders view of some person in tight red and blue, head-to-apparently-toe spandex. as though spandex has any other possible adjective but 'tight'.

still, the same adjective could be applied to the posture, or at least what's visible. it's at least a... loose kind of tight? or something??

anyway, there's the kind of wave you do when you're either about to start a school project, or your great aunt josephine is giving you a thumbs up from afar for whatever weird family reunion cousin sack race you're about to do.
]

Hey everyone!

This is - [ uhh ] - just me. Spider-Man. Just saying, like. I think some people might have had some stuff missing when they evac'd, or whenever they tried to move around, I guess. Or maybe not, I - it's not like I talked to everyone. Either way, like. If you need stuff - your own stuff, please - moved around, or you want someone to keep an eye out for something, or you just need stuff - I can help with that! Or like if you need help getting here to there specifically, or have to move something really heavy, or - now I'm rambling, sorry. If you want help in general. I can't promise everything, but I can promise I'll try. At least, as much as I can.

[ that's what being a superhero is all about anyway, right? he's been slacking since he got here. ]

...........like, not just right now, I mean. All the time. I can be helpful all the time. This was a weird time to do this, wasn't it?

[ the feed cuts off a handful of hurriedly-over-analyzed seconds later. ]
otiosity: (i should go)

[personal profile] otiosity 2017-07-31 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I understand. I wouldn't post publicly wearing something like that either.

[This might be audio but Hawke is deeply unimpressed. He can probably imagine her unimpressed face from here.]

What sort of things? Laying 1000s of eggs so little spider-men can come eat you alive? Being generally gross and creepy to look at? I mean that could be men or spiders so I guess that's two in one.
otiosity: (buddy they wont even let me fuck it)

[personal profile] otiosity 2017-07-31 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, it's not the worst one I've ever seen.

[The Iron Man armor is deffo the worst. Mostly because it belongs to Tony and it's hilarious to see him get cross about it.]

Not the suit. The idea of a Spider/Man. That's definitely the stuff of nightmares. Though you don't look like that sort of nightmare. More like someone suffering from poor fashion choices. And thievery. Perhaps you ought to get your own TAB or else we're both going to get yelled at by a man whose had too much coffee and gets cross easily. I've learned to tune it out though you'd get an earful.
otiosity: (just a little showboating)

[personal profile] otiosity 2017-08-01 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
[Hawke makes a humming noise as if she finds that answer acceptable for now. Then she gasps a little.]

You mean your real name isn't Man-Spider? You just lied to all of us out here? How can we accept help from someone who lies about his name?
otiosity: (you are not alone)

[personal profile] otiosity 2017-08-01 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
We definitely have nicknames! But they're always very on the nose. Which is why if you were a man spider, everything would make much more sense.

[...To her anyway. She rubs at her nose idly before running a hand through her messy hair.]

So, why Spider-Boy? And why my TAB? I need it for work, you know.

[SHE DOESN'T HAVE A JOB.]
otiosity: (uhhh have you thought about the weather?)

[personal profile] otiosity 2017-08-03 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly.

I'm a consultant. People ask me things and I consult with them. I'm also a bodyguard.

[Things like "Hawke can you please stop puking in the vase in the entrance way?"]
otiosity: (nathan drake face)

[personal profile] otiosity 2017-08-03 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
Which means that I'm never going to be out of a job. Sorry to the easily replaceable people with ordinary skills, but I've carved and staked claim into this niche.

[She's used to being squinted at. So even if he's a weird guy in a suit its like whatevs.]