o4 🔥 text (nsfw, drugs, etc.)

[pillz]

scenario: bae is mad cuz u didnt fuck him good

& now there ain't nothing making it right. not all the fucking cocaine and free porn and $900 scotch and diamond encrusted watches and faberge eggs (literal) and novelty dildos and dick sucking in the world. in two worlds. i'm talking about two fucking worlds worth of that shit on offer, and he still mad.

what the fuck am i supposed to do

waht do you do

what have you done. only solutions that work thx

Comments

[deconstruct]

say sorry

[pillz]

tihs is a serious question ok asshoel

[deconstruct]

that was a serious answer

[saveyourserpent]

...Perhaps rethink your relationship?

[pillz]

like ask if he wants a threesoem

[saveyourserpent]

Not quite what I was getting at, no.

text

[corrective]

ಠ_ಠ

[pillz]

if u hold ur eyes taht wide open the jizz will go inside & sting like amotherfucker im just sayin

2/2

[pillz]

what took u so long

1/2

[corrective]

you drive me insane.

2/2

[corrective]

the sex had nothing to do with it. :|

[shadowblends]

apologize and mean it?

even if it's only a little bit [Because he kind of knows Kavinsky.

Maybe?]

[pillz]

waht would a smal lblue virgin know about the affairs of well hung men

[shadowblends]

more than enough if i know fancy gifts and sexual favors won't bring back a significant other

text;

[a_perfect_end]

Well, if he's mad you're not doing it right, read the Kama Sutra and get back to him.

Practice makes perfect, man.

...Also. Duct tape.

Lightrope, if you can get it, but for you? Duct tape.

[pillz]

i dont got a copy of teh kama sutra right now bit i feel like duct tape aint in there
where do i put the duct tape on him

i'm so, so sorry <3

[a_perfect_end]

Yeah, turns out they didn't know everything in 3 zillion BCE. That's the primer, really.

--Dude, babe! My man. Be serious. Answer me truthfully:

...You top, and you dunno how to make duct tape handcuffs?

[They have got their work cut out for them, haven't they.]

[neverheardofhim]

Ever consider that maybe you're just an asshole?

Just a thought.

But if you want real advice? Try something tender. Like engraving "i'm sorry" into that $900 bottle of scotch?

[pillz]

def a possibility
about half ur suggestion makes sense 2 me
why the fuck s everyone in the multiverse obsessed wit apologies

I also apologize for these edits.

[warandpeace]

I'm of the opinion that you shouldn't have to have sex if you don't want to, even with people you like.

[He used to get around when he was hot and younger. He should know.]

Maybe just wait it out. [It sounds like he likes him enough to give him mountains or... heaps of cocaine or something... so he won't recommend leaving him.] A little patience goes a long way. On both sides.

[And then a beat later.]

Oh wait. I see. You did badly. I mistook the meaning of 'good' there.

My solution is still patience.

no worries bro! (also cw sexual vulgarity, to the shock of no one)

[pillz]

waiting ain't gonig 2 make my cock bigger is it
the fuck does patience do

text;

[waspling]

You sound like a pig and a bastard.

Good for him.

[pillz]

yeah
aw
r u tryin 2 hurt my feelins
;(

[liberaltus]

It could be that you lack something that appears to be entierly beyond your reach.

Charm.

cw c word (also I'm laughing irl thank you)

[pillz]

i dunno u seem prety charming & ure bein a royal cunt to me on the internet
thought that wuz how this works