o4 🔥 text (nsfw, drugs, etc.)

[pillz]

scenario: bae is mad cuz u didnt fuck him good

& now there ain't nothing making it right. not all the fucking cocaine and free porn and $900 scotch and diamond encrusted watches and faberge eggs (literal) and novelty dildos and dick sucking in the world. in two worlds. i'm talking about two fucking worlds worth of that shit on offer, and he still mad.

what the fuck am i supposed to do

waht do you do

what have you done. only solutions that work thx

Comments

[deconstruct]

say sorry

[saveyourserpent]

...Perhaps rethink your relationship?

[pillz]

tihs is a serious question ok asshoel

text

[corrective]

ಠ_ಠ

[pillz]

like ask if he wants a threesoem

[shadowblends]

apologize and mean it?

even if it's only a little bit [Because he kind of knows Kavinsky.

Maybe?]

[pillz]

if u hold ur eyes taht wide open the jizz will go inside & sting like amotherfucker im just sayin

2/2

[pillz]

what took u so long

[pillz]

waht would a smal lblue virgin know about the affairs of well hung men

1/2

[corrective]

you drive me insane.

2/2

[corrective]

the sex had nothing to do with it. :|

[shadowblends]

more than enough if i know fancy gifts and sexual favors won't bring back a significant other

[saveyourserpent]

Not quite what I was getting at, no.

[pillz]

ok well can u help a brother out & expand cuz i been thinking a lot
a faberge egg is a lot

tw suicide "joke"

[pillz]

well u aint killed urself yet so i dont see the fuckin problem
bullshit the sex didnt have anthn 2 do wit it
im balls deep in ur ass one night & the next u playin the role of ice princess
blizzard vagina rimmed wit icicles and howling wit tundra winds

r u going 2 pretend this has somethin 2 do wit us bein lost in space in a alien dimension under a space storm, cuz people around here like 2 say thats the big issue every day, but teh fact is no matter where we are, we all just animals. eating shittin and fuckin
except 4 u
who is not fuckin me right now
whats ur problem

cw sexual vulgarity ... a pointless warning !!

[pillz]

i dont have a > significant other i have a guy who i wuz fuckin & now hes bein alittl e bitch about it
bsides what am i apologizin 4
ooo sorry i didnt line it up against ur prostate jus right for like
1 out of 20 strokes
i thought i was doin pretty good ok

[shadowblends]

whatever
he's still someone you spend time with
a companion or something
doing pretty good with what?
the only time i've been beneath you in a position for something like that
has been in your dreams

[but wait--]

actually, nevermind.
because that could mean i'm in your subconscious
and i'm not sure how i should feel about it

text;

[a_perfect_end]

Well, if he's mad you're not doing it right, read the Kama Sutra and get back to him.

Practice makes perfect, man.

...Also. Duct tape.

Lightrope, if you can get it, but for you? Duct tape.

[pillz]

i dont got a copy of teh kama sutra right now bit i feel like duct tape aint in there
where do i put the duct tape on him

[neverheardofhim]

Ever consider that maybe you're just an asshole?

Just a thought.

But if you want real advice? Try something tender. Like engraving "i'm sorry" into that $900 bottle of scotch?

[saveyourserpent]

If your relationship depends solely on whether you 'fuck him good' or not, and you haven't reached this arbitrary goal, perhaps you should seek someone else who, you know, might be a little less picky.

[pillz]

def a possibility
about half ur suggestion makes sense 2 me
why the fuck s everyone in the multiverse obsessed wit apologies

[pillz]

aight u maybe got a point there
so i gotta identify if i got room to negotiate & then bone somebody else if not
give or take revenge shitting on the carpet

[saveyourserpent]

...Right. Sure. That's a creative interpretation. I guess something like that's what I meant.

[neverheardofhim]

Because I, in my age and infinite wisdom, just happen to know a thing or two. I know it's shocking to you kids, that adults might know something, but it's been known to happen.