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[beautifulspaceraptor]

[ There’s a Turian face filling the screen, bright, large green eyes and youthful face, but the colony markings should be a dead give away for who it was. The moment he’s sure the camera is on, Nihlus starts chattering away. ]

So like, I finally managed to hack into my omni-tool’s data storage proper and it’s a freaking treasure trove, holy shit. There’s like a million pictures of Saren Fucking Arterius on here?

[ Cue some awkward angling with the MID to properly frame said omni-tool- and there is, indeed, a screenful of thumbnail photos of Saren Arterius. The teen scrolls through the file navigator with one hand, chortling as he does. ]

Look, look- here’s one of him picking his nose.

Here’s one of him in the middle of a sneeze.

And this one’s my favorite so far, okay okay- it’s the fucker tripping over a leaf. Haha, fuck, the extranet would have been alllll over this shit- whoa hey, he’s got a pretty nice butt for someone who’s like a millions years old. Dang.

[ Being a teenager does not seem to have cured him of his awful tastes, unfortunately. ]

Anyways, there’s also like, the most beautifully curated collection of vid porn that I have ever seen in my life, so if you want copies and aren’t like, a baby or something, just ping me!

Comments

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[beautifulspaceraptor]

Why would I regret it? It's just weird photos of Saren and like, porn-

Whoa, hey, you're a robot!

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[taselikeabee]

And this was the reason that Jetfire loathed everything to do with the net...

[ the jet always complained about how bogged down the Internet on Earth was. if it was clogged with stuff like this? then yes, Bee can see how that might have dropped his friend's IQ by a few points. ]

Also no. Not a robot. Not technically. [ but moving on. ] I mean you might see this later and die from second hand embarrassment.

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Not technically? What's that mean? Oh my goddess, you're so cool.

[ Nihlus' pupils are huge and he nearly has he face smushed up against the MID. ]

Wait, second hand embarrassment? Seriously?

[taselikeabee]

I mean that no one made me or my race.

[ but hey, Bee will happily take bugging eyes and excitement over the alternative. ]

It's either the embarrassment or you might not come out of your room for a few days. Usually that's what happens, right?

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Oooohh. So are you like, energy beings inhabiting a body then?

[ Because those bodies are clearly made, man. ]

Do I really look like someone who might get second-hand embarrassment, mate?

[taselikeabee]

Cybertronians are a mechanical race. Our sparks are more closer to the concept of a soul than just a mere sources of power. The spark defines who the person is. We age, catch illnesses, and can die just like anyone else.

[ so really, they aren't that much different. only in body, really. ]

And I don't know. When all the weirdness is done, you might be. I haven't really talked to you long enough to form an opinion one way or another.

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Whhoooaaaaa. What's a spark?

[ Because that wasn't really explained enough for him to really get much of that. ]

I think I'll be fine, haha. Like I said, porn and funny pictures of esteemed people sorts is the stuff I'd normally share anyways!

[taselikeabee]

[ didn't he just... ]

It's what makes me, me. And if that's the way you treat your role models or whatever then... Wow.