Text post;

[kaijumanic]

ok listen up guys gals and all the inbetweens
my names newt geiszler and not only am i a fucking stand up guy and a riot to be around but im also the worlds leading xenobiologist/cryptozoologist/guy who's gonna save the world when he gets back assuming it hasnt been trashed by the kaiju

oh hey thats a point does time stop back home and we just slot back in or is time still moving in other dimensions?? since apparently this ISNT a coma and im actually stuck in a weird alternate universe spaceship with transformers and comics people walking around
which cmon can you blame me for thinking this was a coma like
fucking transformers

IM GETTING OFF POINT
anyway so
me=expert on all things kaiju and alien
you=potential NEW ALIENS FOR ME TO STUDY

you see where this is going right??
basically im not about to give up my totally awesome rockstar name of worlds leading xenobiologist and so i gotta know all about the alien species that live on the ship
gotta give me something to do since i cant continue my kaiju research unless theres a mind reader on board I might as well start fresh
anything thats not human is pretty much an alien sorry if thats space racist but them the breaks

dont worry im not gonna ask if you have tentacles for dicks or whatever but i am geninuely interested in learning about new species and planets where you guys originate and biology specifically
plus if you let me study you and end up getting hurt you get a shiny new medic so
WIN/WIN
AMIRITE

im mostly chilling out in engineering since i live there now but i do actually hve a room too on the Nomo deck if thats more your bag
so come on down and let me study you!!

EDIT:
wow ok reading this back it makes me sound like i wanna harvest your organs or preform cavity searches but wow i promise im not gonna do that I JUST WANNA MEET SOME COOL ALIENS who don't wanna stomp on my city and harvest my word for resources we can do the cavity searches after you buy me dinner first if u know what i mean B)

EDIT 2:
fuck no scratch that im not a xenophile either what the fuck is wrong with me

[OOC: Newt is a fan of pop culture and knows a fair amount of nerdy culture and canons! Please check out my fourth walling permissions and lemme know if you're cool with potentially getting fourth walled by filling in my opt in or opt out form please u3u]

Comments

[kaijumanic]

--No you. You don't get made into toys. There are just toy versions of you that can totally transform and everything. It's not domestication, because Cybertroians only exist in works of fiction in my universe. You're cartoon characters. It's a cartoon about the Autobots and Decepticons fighting each other on Earth. A cartoon.

[Newt squints at Magnus.] I dunno, you don't look really familiar. There's a buttload of canons for Transformers and it's been forever since I watched the original tv show. What was your name again?

[onlytwoexpressions]

A...cartoon? The most harrowing war in our race's lifetime was made into children's entertainment?

I'm not entirely sure how I should feel about that.

As for me, I am Ultra Magnus, former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord.

[Voiced by Robert Stack in the '86 movie]

[kaijumanic]

You should probably feel shitty about it, because that's a pretty awful thing when you put it like that. Hey kids, let's watch a show about mass genocide of an alien race! Woo!

Oh, yeah. I remember you! I don't think I ever had a toy of you, though. Sorry, dude.

[onlytwoexpressions]

No apologies necessary.

I'm rather relieved I wasn't a toy.

I'm convinced that there is no way they could possibly be accurate depictions.

[kaijumanic]

I think you were? I just didn't have one.

[He grins, thumbs up.] Yeah, you're a little more detailed than the cartoon. It was the eighties. [AS IF THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING.] Mostly everyone looked like different shaped boxes made out of lego. With wings attached sometimes.

It was great.