thisavrou | Text post;

ok listen up guys gals and all the inbetweens
my names newt geiszler and not only am i a fucking stand up guy and a riot to be around but im also the worlds leading xenobiologist/cryptozoologist/guy who's gonna save the world when he gets back assuming it hasnt been trashed by the kaiju

oh hey thats a point does time stop back home and we just slot back in or is time still moving in other dimensions?? since apparently this ISNT a coma and im actually stuck in a weird alternate universe spaceship with transformers and comics people walking around
which cmon can you blame me for thinking this was a coma like
fucking transformers

IM GETTING OFF POINT
anyway so
me=expert on all things kaiju and alien
you=potential NEW ALIENS FOR ME TO STUDY

you see where this is going right??
basically im not about to give up my totally awesome rockstar name of worlds leading xenobiologist and so i gotta know all about the alien species that live on the ship
gotta give me something to do since i cant continue my kaiju research unless theres a mind reader on board I might as well start fresh
anything thats not human is pretty much an alien sorry if thats space racist but them the breaks

dont worry im not gonna ask if you have tentacles for dicks or whatever but i am geninuely interested in learning about new species and planets where you guys originate and biology specifically
plus if you let me study you and end up getting hurt you get a shiny new medic so
WIN/WIN
AMIRITE

im mostly chilling out in engineering since i live there now but i do actually hve a room too on the Nomo deck if thats more your bag
so come on down and let me study you!!

EDIT:
wow ok reading this back it makes me sound like i wanna harvest your organs or preform cavity searches but wow i promise im not gonna do that I JUST WANNA MEET SOME COOL ALIENS who don't wanna stomp on my city and harvest my word for resources we can do the cavity searches after you buy me dinner first if u know what i mean B)

EDIT 2:
fuck no scratch that im not a xenophile either what the fuck is wrong with me

[OOC: Newt is a fan of pop culture and knows a fair amount of nerdy culture and canons! Please check out my fourth walling permissions and lemme know if you're cool with potentially getting fourth walled by filling in my opt in or opt out form please u3u]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

big dreams, coma dude

Doctor Geiszler , at least buy us lunch first.

Edited (I CAN TYPE) 2016-08-15 20:21 (UTC)

you're more excitable than i thought

[turns out alternate Newt is a fucking loon too who would've guess ~~not that Raiden's a stalker or anything what~~]

Surely you should be buying them dinner first.

.... What's a xenophile?

You study kaiju?

[There's a profession like that out there??]

you what mate

Here I thought I was the most socially inept member of this crew.

[What did she do to deserve this. Actually what.]

I would never want to get in the way of you making friends, and I'm sure dozens of these real people you've reduced to your new science experiment are dying to meet you, but I don't want them crowding engineering.

Edited 2016-08-15 21:56 (UTC)

[gggeEEZ]

Calm down.

ughhhhh dont call me doctor nihlus it makes me feel like a billion years old

and lunch can be arranged dude you just had to ask!

hey
gotta do something to keep me from dying of boredom right?

you didnt figure that out when i freaked about your droid?

[YOU LOVE HIM TALI]

where else am i supposed to do this stuff? its not like i have a lab like back home where i can just do autopsies

did i say autopsies i meant RESEARCH

not autopsies

fuck

i dont wanna date them just figure out how their insides work

but i guess thats probably the polite thing to do? most of my research was on large dead pieces of alien so
not used to flirting with them to get details

[He has the decency to look a little flustered when the videofeed clicks on, fidgeting endlessly.]

Uhh, that's probably something you don't need to know about. Yup. Not gonna tell yah, don't worry about it buddy.

Edited 2016-08-15 22:15 (UTC)

Your title is misleading. We're not on a world for you to be 'leading xenobiologist' of.

[ It's weak shitposting, but he's bedridden and it's boring as hell. Sue him. ]

yeah! im the earths leading expert on them! im the one who figured out how to neutralise the toxins in kaiju blue and specimens so we can actually
yknow
study them without wearing a hazmat suit
because wheres the fun in investigative science if you cant go elbows deep in kaiju entrails i mean seriously

of course thats just one of the things i figured out but im not gonna bore you with that

Edited 2016-08-15 22:18 (UTC)

what part dont you understand i didnt exactly use any big words

wow first off: rude
second: did you not read the fucking post

wow

wowwwww

do you actually have anything useful to share with the class or are you just gonna keep making fun of the guy with six phds

Edited 2016-08-15 22:22 (UTC)

i didnt even write this post in all caps im not freaking out
im totally calm?? like you guys need to chill if anything yeesh

I read it. You sound desperate.

Guessing no one told you you're not going to remember anything that happens here when and if you get home.

really? desperate? i was going for more of a 'we're doing a drug trial and we need hobos for volenteers' kinda vibe
ok tho but what evidence do you have for that if youre still here and
not back home? because pls enlighten me i only jus decided this probably isnt a coma fever dream of a side effect of the drift

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