Text post;

[kaijumanic]

ok listen up guys gals and all the inbetweens
my names newt geiszler and not only am i a fucking stand up guy and a riot to be around but im also the worlds leading xenobiologist/cryptozoologist/guy who's gonna save the world when he gets back assuming it hasnt been trashed by the kaiju

oh hey thats a point does time stop back home and we just slot back in or is time still moving in other dimensions?? since apparently this ISNT a coma and im actually stuck in a weird alternate universe spaceship with transformers and comics people walking around
which cmon can you blame me for thinking this was a coma like
fucking transformers

IM GETTING OFF POINT
anyway so
me=expert on all things kaiju and alien
you=potential NEW ALIENS FOR ME TO STUDY

you see where this is going right??
basically im not about to give up my totally awesome rockstar name of worlds leading xenobiologist and so i gotta know all about the alien species that live on the ship
gotta give me something to do since i cant continue my kaiju research unless theres a mind reader on board I might as well start fresh
anything thats not human is pretty much an alien sorry if thats space racist but them the breaks

dont worry im not gonna ask if you have tentacles for dicks or whatever but i am geninuely interested in learning about new species and planets where you guys originate and biology specifically
plus if you let me study you and end up getting hurt you get a shiny new medic so
WIN/WIN
AMIRITE

im mostly chilling out in engineering since i live there now but i do actually hve a room too on the Nomo deck if thats more your bag
so come on down and let me study you!!

EDIT:
wow ok reading this back it makes me sound like i wanna harvest your organs or preform cavity searches but wow i promise im not gonna do that I JUST WANNA MEET SOME COOL ALIENS who don't wanna stomp on my city and harvest my word for resources we can do the cavity searches after you buy me dinner first if u know what i mean B)

EDIT 2:
fuck no scratch that im not a xenophile either what the fuck is wrong with me

[OOC: Newt is a fan of pop culture and knows a fair amount of nerdy culture and canons! Please check out my fourth walling permissions and lemme know if you're cool with potentially getting fourth walled by filling in my opt in or opt out form please u3u]

Comments

text; 2/2

[kaijumanic]

ok i admit it
this was a really bad idea
tries to make alien friends to find out more about their culture and biology!! immediately offends every alien

like i would be surprised but this is how i am at home too jfc gotta love being a fuckup

[keelahselai]

It looks like the humans were offended more than the rest, if that helps. Maybe they want you to study them instead.


anyway, if you want to know about quarians, I don't mind telling you things. [Yeah, like Tali wouldn't have talked a dissertation at him at the first sign of a question anyway.] I know about a few other races that aren't on board, and there's some pictures on my omni-tool. I don't know anything about their biology except krogan have 4 of everything and hanar have bizarre spaceships, but if you're interested, I'm offering.

you just have to tell me what a kaiju is. And promise not to bring any medical instruments anywhere near me. Or anyone else. and no interviews in engineering.
and no biopsies. ever.

[...the next text comes in belatedly.]

And don't get into any more fights with my boyfriend, that's pretty important.

[kaijumanic]

human white knights coming in to save the day when nobody asked them to

no medical instruments near anybody and no interviews for organ harvesting in engineering either [A BAD JOKE.] but i do wanna learn! from a purely academic standpoint and yknow
so if you get hurt i have some idea of what im actually doing if i need to save a life

i can totally tell you about kaiju
you wont be able to get me to shut UP about kaiju youll regret asking ahhaha
you just name a time and a place for us to swap juicy stories

[keelahselai]

I'm just worried you might not hear all of the proper medical details over the engines. [...further bad joke.]

Maybe you could talk to some of the medics. They deal with aliens, they've picked up a lot. Dr Yewll probably knows more about my biology by now than I do.

OK, my engineering shift's in a couple of hours, I was going to go to the mess hall and eat. You could join me?

[kaijumanic]

doc yewll is gonna talk to me so you dont have to worry about bringing autopsies in dont worry

oh man yeah count me in

i didnt eat breakfast

or dinner last night now that i think about it WHUPS

[keelahselai]

Sounds good - good luck

keelah, nearly a day? if I don't see you there in two hours, I'll drag you in

((OOC: We can either thread on or handwave, either way's cool by me!))