Text post;

[kaijumanic]

ok listen up guys gals and all the inbetweens
my names newt geiszler and not only am i a fucking stand up guy and a riot to be around but im also the worlds leading xenobiologist/cryptozoologist/guy who's gonna save the world when he gets back assuming it hasnt been trashed by the kaiju

oh hey thats a point does time stop back home and we just slot back in or is time still moving in other dimensions?? since apparently this ISNT a coma and im actually stuck in a weird alternate universe spaceship with transformers and comics people walking around
which cmon can you blame me for thinking this was a coma like
fucking transformers

IM GETTING OFF POINT
anyway so
me=expert on all things kaiju and alien
you=potential NEW ALIENS FOR ME TO STUDY

you see where this is going right??
basically im not about to give up my totally awesome rockstar name of worlds leading xenobiologist and so i gotta know all about the alien species that live on the ship
gotta give me something to do since i cant continue my kaiju research unless theres a mind reader on board I might as well start fresh
anything thats not human is pretty much an alien sorry if thats space racist but them the breaks

dont worry im not gonna ask if you have tentacles for dicks or whatever but i am geninuely interested in learning about new species and planets where you guys originate and biology specifically
plus if you let me study you and end up getting hurt you get a shiny new medic so
WIN/WIN
AMIRITE

im mostly chilling out in engineering since i live there now but i do actually hve a room too on the Nomo deck if thats more your bag
so come on down and let me study you!!

EDIT:
wow ok reading this back it makes me sound like i wanna harvest your organs or preform cavity searches but wow i promise im not gonna do that I JUST WANNA MEET SOME COOL ALIENS who don't wanna stomp on my city and harvest my word for resources we can do the cavity searches after you buy me dinner first if u know what i mean B)

EDIT 2:
fuck no scratch that im not a xenophile either what the fuck is wrong with me

[OOC: Newt is a fan of pop culture and knows a fair amount of nerdy culture and canons! Please check out my fourth walling permissions and lemme know if you're cool with potentially getting fourth walled by filling in my opt in or opt out form please u3u]

Comments

[kaijumanic]

rationings never great man
i remember before rationing was a thing in my universe and BELIEVE ME i miss the days where lunchables, double bacon cheeseburgers and koolaid were still a thing instead of relics from a time of over indulgence
i mean being in the shatterdome means i get access to more food than usual rationing across the world but it still sucks to eat mashed potatoes and bread everyday

UGH i miss eating fish so much i need shitty fish sticks

[morethan084]

You had a really terrible diet if that's what you miss.

...Shatterdome? Like an actual dome? You lived in a dome?

[kaijumanic]

when youre a teenager you dont really care about high cholestoral or getting a little squishy around the edges

oh nah
the shatterdome is just what we call it! its actually an old wave power-plant that we took over and made our base of operations in hong kong after k-day
there was a whole bunch of shatterdomes around the world but hong kong is the only one left now

[morethan084]

K-day...?

[kaijumanic]

shit right nobody knows that stuff
k-day was when the first kaiju trespasser attacked us and the start of the kaiju war way back in 2013
everything after that sort of became a clusterfuck

[morethan084]

2013? I never heard about this going down.

Oh. Right. Different earths or whatever.

Still not used to that.

[kaijumanic]

alternatve realities and timelines are fun right

(theyre not)

(its really confusing)

[morethan084]

Totally.

Well, good luck with meeting some cool aliens. ;)

[Little shit.]