Text post;

[kaijumanic]

ok listen up guys gals and all the inbetweens
my names newt geiszler and not only am i a fucking stand up guy and a riot to be around but im also the worlds leading xenobiologist/cryptozoologist/guy who's gonna save the world when he gets back assuming it hasnt been trashed by the kaiju

oh hey thats a point does time stop back home and we just slot back in or is time still moving in other dimensions?? since apparently this ISNT a coma and im actually stuck in a weird alternate universe spaceship with transformers and comics people walking around
which cmon can you blame me for thinking this was a coma like
fucking transformers

IM GETTING OFF POINT
anyway so
me=expert on all things kaiju and alien
you=potential NEW ALIENS FOR ME TO STUDY

you see where this is going right??
basically im not about to give up my totally awesome rockstar name of worlds leading xenobiologist and so i gotta know all about the alien species that live on the ship
gotta give me something to do since i cant continue my kaiju research unless theres a mind reader on board I might as well start fresh
anything thats not human is pretty much an alien sorry if thats space racist but them the breaks

dont worry im not gonna ask if you have tentacles for dicks or whatever but i am geninuely interested in learning about new species and planets where you guys originate and biology specifically
plus if you let me study you and end up getting hurt you get a shiny new medic so
WIN/WIN
AMIRITE

im mostly chilling out in engineering since i live there now but i do actually hve a room too on the Nomo deck if thats more your bag
so come on down and let me study you!!

EDIT:
wow ok reading this back it makes me sound like i wanna harvest your organs or preform cavity searches but wow i promise im not gonna do that I JUST WANNA MEET SOME COOL ALIENS who don't wanna stomp on my city and harvest my word for resources we can do the cavity searches after you buy me dinner first if u know what i mean B)

EDIT 2:
fuck no scratch that im not a xenophile either what the fuck is wrong with me

[OOC: Newt is a fan of pop culture and knows a fair amount of nerdy culture and canons! Please check out my fourth walling permissions and lemme know if you're cool with potentially getting fourth walled by filling in my opt in or opt out form please u3u]

Comments

Text

[kaijumanic]

ughhhhh dont call me doctor nihlus it makes me feel like a billion years old

and lunch can be arranged dude you just had to ask!

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Lunch for us, dinner for you and I can give you a brief crash-course on interspecies diplomacy while we're at it. How's that sound?

[kaijumanic]

hey my diplomacy skills arent THAT bad


ok maybe theyre a little bad but the aliens i used to study were less of the talking type and more of the im gonna smash your house and eat your dog type

but that sounds good! have you figured a way to engineer food yo can eat here yet? i mean i assume you have since youre not
well actually are you usually that boney?

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Ah, that is a very unfortunate experience with another species. You humans seem to get the short end of the stick a lot with the First Contact business.

And there is food for us here (it's pretty bland) and yes, I am usually this boney. Turians don't tend to carry a lot of fatty tissue.

[kaijumanic]

ive got a hunch that the kaiju were sent by these sort of... i guess you can call them masters??
they are sort of wrecking our shit to clear the way for the masters to use our planet up for resources which i think is just a thing they do?? anyway i dont think theyre just mindless beasts for def now
ive been inside their heads i know they have feelings and emotions and shit

have you tried focusing on figuring out a way to engineer some?? or would the process be to complex? because i take it its not just a case of subsituting dairy for plastic or something righ

[beautifulspaceraptor]

Inside their heads? That sounds like... an experience.

[ It didn't sound anything like Asari melding at least. Is that why Newt had been so unbalanced in their first meeting? ]

Tali and I are more experienced in the industrial mechanical application of fabrication technology, so fabbed food is... a bit out there. I'm sure it's possible, but it's very resource intensive just for three crewmembers.

[ All adults with no special needs who are very used to MREs and bland military cooking. Not to mention Tali can eat levo food too since she'd gotten some kind of operation, which is, well, weird, but there you go. ]

[kaijumanic]

[That would totally by why he was so unbalanced during their first meeting.]

it was an experience all right
not one i would really recommend since the side effects are seizures, vomiting, unconsiousness, ghost drifting, brain hemorrhaging, brain damage, losing your grip on reality, death
you know all fun stuff

[Def not like Asari melding.]

yeah i get that but theres really nothing worse than eating food just to LIVE its gotta be tasty too yknow
im sorry dude

[beautifulspaceraptor]

That is a long list of very terrible side-effects.

[ Seriously. ]

If there's one thing the military prepares you for, it's months living on terrible ration bars. I'm pretty used to it, don't worry. There are opportunities to stock up on snacks on certain stops at any rate.

[kaijumanic]

the fun thing about pioneering this kind of thing is that there could be more side effects but they get to be a FUN SURPRISE

ughhhhhh military food was the WORST
when i was doing my jaeger academy training i thought i was gonna die from all the rice they gave us
then it got way worse when the actual rationing started :))))))