voice;

[otiosity]

Not to interrupt any serious conversations anyone is having about dim hallways and new captains and stumbling into another dimension but-

Does anyone have an extra set of clothes for sale for a tall.... tall-ish person? My only pair were taken by slavers and I don't have enough sense of duty and authority to wear the uniform they gave to me. [Read: SHE THINKS IT LOOKS AWFUL.] And I have been told in the past by certain people that it's not "appropriate for the city's champion" to refuse to wear proper clothes. So basically, looking for something non pretentious and and that properly marks me as the dashing rogue that I am.

In exchange, I can give you 5 gold coins, a deck of glass playing cards, 2 magic tricks, and a beautiful piece of artwork to hang in your room by our favorite local artist Nathan Drake.

Please send all inquiries to Hawke at the talkie thing on your wrist.

Comments

its okay and I'm sorry in advance

[otiosity]

While the offer is appreciated, do you have anything that actually covers both arms. I don't know what's popular in Tevinter but if I walk around here with one tit exposed people are going to make judgmental faces at me in the halls. Being judged is tiring!

no worries!

[liberaltus]

One tit exposed is all part of the bargain Hawke. [Dorian just oozes with sarcasm.] Of course I have clothing that will cover both of your arms. Stunning as you are, some secrets must be kept.

Hawke is terrible

[otiosity]

If only I had much tit to show. My lack of breasts is the only black mark on the long list of my excellent qualities. [she sighs ever so dramatically] But yes let's keep that our secret and ignore the fact that this is all public. I'll take your Tevinter robes and strut around the place and complain about the wine.

only wonderfully so!

[liberaltus]

[Why yes, they are having this conversation about Hawke's breasts.]

Some consider it a curse while others consider it a blessing to be small chested. I've heard the busier variety complain most grievously of sore backs due to being top-front heavy. [Dorian gives an exasperated little huff] Fortunately I've a store of my own wine, so I complain a great deal less.

run while you can bro

[otiosity]

Do you often go around polling women about their chests and back pain? Actually that sounds like a brilliant job, forget the joke.

[But then you can basically hear her putting her hand to her chest in a dramatic fashion.]

You have wine? Have you been holding out on me, you Tevinter miser. I thought we were in this together.

there isn't enough space on this ship to get far enough away from this conversation

[liberaltus]

Or perhaps I just have ears.

[Oh? What hell hath Dorian unleashed now?]

I had priorities on the vacation planet, and number one was to stock up on as much wine as I possibly could. I suppose after what we just went through I could crack open another bottle, though I do worry that I might spoil you too much. Then what would Varric say?

NOPE. Sorry Dorian.

[otiosity]

Ears to pick up conversations about breasts.

[She's just being a shit now. And then she's nodding and not really listening because it's kinda like a lecture and she doesn't do lectures... But.

Wait. What was that last thing.]

You know Varric?

[Ah, yes. The timelines issue.]

cot damnit!

[liberaltus]

Exactly, there are some things one can never un-hear once it has been heard.

[If Dorian were an animal he'd be a duck because shit just rolls right off of him.

Ah, well it seems they have something to talk about, don't they?]

Yes. Though arguably not as well as you do, I even read his books, have some of them with me in fact.

[otiosity]

I'm glad you kept this knowledge in your mind to share with me.

[If Hawke were an animal, she'd be a dog because she always rolls in shit.]

Funny. He never mentioned his fancy Tevinter friend who knows so much about breasts.

[liberaltus]

Yes well, I have an unfortunately long memory.

[That's an accurate mental image.]

Not terribly much, because I cannot figure out how the dynamics of a bosom works within the pages of his novels. And I am shocked he would not have mentioned me, I'm utterly mentionable.

[otiosity]

Nope.

As far as I know the only Tevinter we know is Fenris everyone's favorite broody elf former slave. Because you'd be drinking with us otherwise.

[liberaltus]

Well shame on him for keeping his excellent taste hidden from you all this time. You certainly wouldn't know it from reading his books.

[otiosity]

Varric doesn't hide things from me. We've moved past that part of friendship.

[The slightest tiniest hint of a huff. Varric is her best friend and he would never ever hide things from her. Would he? I mean having a Tevinter buddy was a bit strange but nothing that... no wait. Fenris would really judge him for that. But Hawke wouldn't! She can keep a secret!]

Not a fan of Hard in Hightown?

[liberaltus]

Well someone is hiding something, or perhaps he simply hasn't gotten around to it. Things have been a little...preoccupying for him lately.

[Big hole in the sky and all of that, demons raining down on them too, and a Darkspawn who is rumored to have maybe, probably, been a magister.]

Not a fan of Swords and Shields. Still, I need to read it otherwise I would never be able to give him a hard time.

[otiosity]

That one is boring. Or at least the part that I read. I haven't ever actually finished-

[No. Wait. Back up. What was it that? She's starting to feel a little cross. And for Hawke that's usually petulant while getting a lecture from Aveline.]

Preoccupied?

[liberaltus]

I've all of them, except for the last one, he's not come to terms with whether he wants to finish it or not.

[And Dorian is just finding the whole thing bizarre.]

Yes, we were all a bit preoccupied after Corypheus strolled in and dropped an archdemon on Haven

[otiosity]

What's a Corifegiruous? [You didn't even try Hawke!] And Haven? Sounds far from Kirkwall and I'm pretty sure Varric is in Kirkwall. Varric loves Kirkwall!

[liberaltus]

Someone you should know...but you don't. What year is it on Thedas?

[otiosity]

9:36 Dragon.

This is going to end in a horrible revelation isn't it?

[liberaltus]

Well you are nearly half a decade behind, how bad would you say that is?

[otiosity]

 

[otiosity]

 

[otiosity]

Bad enough that you're giving me one of those bottles of wine.

[liberaltus]

Fine, you're special so you get an entire bottle all on your own. You cannnot say Dorian never gave you anything.

[otiosity]

I guess we're starting with a hangover and an existential and/or temporal crisis.