Text;

[allyisun]

[Allison does her best to lock this post from any kids on board, but pretty drunk and mostly just squinting at people's icons to make her choices. Nico Robin and Peter Maximoff are definitely excluded. Just in case, she adds a disclaimer.]

THIS IS AN ADULT ONLY POST. IF U ARE UNDER 18 DO NOT READ.

ACTUALLY IF UR UNDER 20 DO NOT READ

OR 21?

okay but like shit is going down soon and it is absolutely imperative that I get laid

So I need someone to get laid with

OK?

Comments

[skelepun]

Sex that good, huh? [He asks, deeply skeptical.] Why not your chance at one last cheeseburger? In my experience, the two are pretty comparable.

[allyisun]

Uuuugh. Unnnnngh. Bluuuuuugh. [She knocks her head softly against the counter a couple of times.

Then finally admits...] At least I've had a cheeseburger...

[skelepun]

[Ah ha. Knew he had you pegged, kiddo.]

Imagine a cheeseburger in your pants. [Sans shrugs, swirling his drink for emphasis.] Like, literally. Sex is just warm and kinda gooey. And there's always a chance the burger has some sorta spicy mayo on it, so you're running the risk of burning the next morning.

[Man, he's really jonesing for a cheeseburger now. Luckily, this is a thing much easier to fix than Allison's forlorn virginity.]

Personally, I never really saw the driving appeal.

[allyisun]

[Allison turns to stare at Sans with the most disturbed look on her face.]

Oh. My god?? That was literally the worst description of sex I have ever heard.

...spicy mayo, I can't believe...

[And then with a loud snort she's suddenly cracking up.]