video; [locked to everyone except whirl]

[sousveillance]

[ The feed flickers into life at an artistic Dutch angle. Then the camera corrects itself. Rewind flashes his optics in a way that'd read as friendly to other Cybertronians; his visor's carefully arranged into an exaggerated smiling-with-the-eyes expression, for the benefit of the organics who aren't used to reading Cybertronian expressions, especially those of 'bots with faceplates. ]

Hi! I'm Rewind of the Autobots, one of the Cybertronians here on the Moira. We're the big robots. We turn into things.

I have something really important to talk to you all about.

[ The camera swings around to point at a screen. There's a soft whirring noise of a projector and a picture flickers into view on the screen.

It's Whirl. ]

Okay, see him? This is Whirl. He's also an Autobot and a Cybertronian. I want you all to be aware of the following things: one, do not ask him for the time, ever; two, do not stare at or ask about his claw-- his hands. His hands. Or his face. Three. Do not, ever, for the love of all that is sacred to you organics, call him a lamp. Or this will happen.

[ Whirl's picture flickers off the screen, to be replaced by footage of the latest Autobot escapade. Then the camera swings around to focus on Rewind's face again. He contrives to look as obviously disapproving as he can. ]

And that's the best-case scenario. Worst-case scenario? He kills you.

This has been a public service announcement. Thank you all for listening!

Comments

[asafepairofhands]

Rewind!

[That is... not the most flattering footage of him to have on the network, thank you.]

[sousveillance]

People have to be warned! There could be a massacre if an organic says the wrong thing to him.

[asafepairofhands]

You don't have to put up the--

[He reviews the footage again, then scowls.]

You filmed that whole thing?

[iseedeadbees]

[Okay so Starscream spends like a full ten minutes just laughing his ass off at this before actually hopping on the network to make a comment. hooo buddy wow you Autobots though.]

As entertaining as watching you clowns fumble over each other in a brilliant display of pure, unbridled ineptitude is, I can think of at least ten ways to get this message out that would have been a hundred times more tactful than this.

[sousveillance]

[ Rewind scowls. Shut up, Starscream, you're a Decepticon. ]

Effective is more of a priority than tactful.

And you're one to talk about tact.

[warandpeace]

[Hilarious priorities kick in.]

Is Cyclonus okay?

[Then.]

You should remind him to calm the hell down, too. A lot of us don't react too well to giant threats warring around us. I might be understating a bit.

[sousveillance]

He'll be fine. He's seen worse than this, trust me.

And, uh. I don't think you understand Whirl. I can't just tell him to calm down. Not if I want to remain in one piece.

[heroicpose]

[ Oooohhhh. Rodimus is cringing. ]

Maybe you shouldn't have uh, said the "kill" word.

Can Megatron see this? Please tell me he can't see this.

[sousveillance]

... uh.

[ Rewind double-checks who he'd locked out of seeing the post and cringes, too. ]

He can. Sorry, captain.

Video

[daintylegs]

ARE YOU ALL INSANE???

What the hell is wrong with all of you.

[Tailgate.

Is very upset right now.]

[sousveillance]

I was trying to help! You know how Whirl is! And he's three times my size, what was I supposed to do, transform and play music at him??

Video

[pharma]

[Pharma just. Pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.]

So there's a lunatic on board besides Tarn. Wonderful to know. As one of the physicians on this ship, I suppose I should inquire as to whether or not there are any injuries I can expect to attend to?

[sousveillance]

Ratchet's got it.

There's actually a third lunatic around, but I suppose expecting you to be self-aware is asking too much.

audio;

[redshitlord]

What is wrong with you guys?

[sousveillance]

Oh, clearly the Autobots are responsible for Empurata and for Whirl being a fragging nutjob. We were trying to help!

video

[aminerproblem]

[He looks away for five god damn seconds]

What's the extent of the damage?

[sousveillance]

Well, the corridor's dented and going to need repainting ... ditto some of us. But other than that, nobody died, so I think we're good!

video

[gainedlove]

Why does this keep happenin' so much?

[Hi grandpa, here is your good child.]

[aerospacecommander]

Quick question.

Why is he so touchy about things?

[sousveillance]

Oh that's rich. A Starscream pretending he doesn't know what Empurata is. C'mon, don't be dense.

video

[knaval]

WHAT THE FRAG IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

[WHAT HAPPENED THIS ALL GOT SO BAD SO QUICKLY.]

We really don't need even worse of a reputation than we already have! Is the purple guy being here not enough?! Oh my god, Rewind!!

[sousveillance]

What's wrong with me? I was trying to help! I'm not the one who tried to murder the spare Bumblebee! I'm a non-combatant mode, I didn't even dent the corridor!

Frag you, Riptide, I'm not the one you should be yelling at.

video;

[heelys]

This woulda been helpful, oh I dunno, about a billion mega-cycles ago!

[he grimaces a little.]

And I didn't scream that much! You totally edited the footage.

[sousveillance]

[ Rewind bristles. His optics flash as menacingly as a minibot's optics can flash. ]

Hey, I'm not the minibot starting fights over facts! And I'm not the one calling Empurata victims lamps like some sort of moron.

And I don't edit archival footage. Who do you take me for?

Locked to Rewind

[ninjabike]

[And Arcee, suddenly gains a brief and sympathetic understanding of what Fowler must go through in his attempts to keep the human government from just declaring all Cybertronians as a threat and going after them; regardless of faction.

This realization shows briefly on her face as she just sends out air through her vents in a mimic of a human sigh, before she's all business.]

I think you've already been told that the humans are likely going to take this the wrong way due to panic, fear, and not understanding half of what just happened.

I don't even know exactly why this is a huge deal with your group, which means giving such vague details won't help the humans feel better when they don't know why they have to be careful. Especially if they don't know if anyone else in your group are that easy to set off.


Care to explain why looking like Shockwave is a huge insult...outside of the fact you share a head type with him?