video; [locked to everyone except whirl]

[sousveillance]

[ The feed flickers into life at an artistic Dutch angle. Then the camera corrects itself. Rewind flashes his optics in a way that'd read as friendly to other Cybertronians; his visor's carefully arranged into an exaggerated smiling-with-the-eyes expression, for the benefit of the organics who aren't used to reading Cybertronian expressions, especially those of 'bots with faceplates. ]

Hi! I'm Rewind of the Autobots, one of the Cybertronians here on the Moira. We're the big robots. We turn into things.

I have something really important to talk to you all about.

[ The camera swings around to point at a screen. There's a soft whirring noise of a projector and a picture flickers into view on the screen.

It's Whirl. ]

Okay, see him? This is Whirl. He's also an Autobot and a Cybertronian. I want you all to be aware of the following things: one, do not ask him for the time, ever; two, do not stare at or ask about his claw-- his hands. His hands. Or his face. Three. Do not, ever, for the love of all that is sacred to you organics, call him a lamp. Or this will happen.

[ Whirl's picture flickers off the screen, to be replaced by footage of the latest Autobot escapade. Then the camera swings around to focus on Rewind's face again. He contrives to look as obviously disapproving as he can. ]

And that's the best-case scenario. Worst-case scenario? He kills you.

This has been a public service announcement. Thank you all for listening!

Comments

[iseedeadbees]

[Okay so Starscream spends like a full ten minutes just laughing his ass off at this before actually hopping on the network to make a comment. hooo buddy wow you Autobots though.]

As entertaining as watching you clowns fumble over each other in a brilliant display of pure, unbridled ineptitude is, I can think of at least ten ways to get this message out that would have been a hundred times more tactful than this.

[sousveillance]

[ Rewind scowls. Shut up, Starscream, you're a Decepticon. ]

Effective is more of a priority than tactful.

And you're one to talk about tact.

[iseedeadbees]

[not anymore now he's the king of robotland, NERD]

Tact is something I've come to specialize in these days. Comes with the new job. Now, what you've done here is showcase how dangerous and reckless our people are known universally for being. I'm sure the last thing the tiny organics on board want to know is that their big metal neighbors are extremely dangerous and could potentially flatten them at any given point. The least that can come of this is general fear and distrust among the other crew members aimed at Cybertronains in general, and history's proven that everything eventually spirals out of control from that point on.

Was this effective? Potentially, but you've still put the lot of us in a pretty questionable position.

[sousveillance]

We were already in a questionable position, thanks to your comrade Tarn being on board. Do you know he tried to murder me when he first saw me?

Why don't you go yell at him instead of at a non-com who's trying to help.

[iseedeadbees]

Tarn is just as much my problem as he is anyone else's, you realize, seeing as I'm no longer a Decepticon. And I've already had words with him.

Aaaand considering all your Autobot buddies aren't too thrilled with this broadcast either, I'd say that I'm not the one in the wrong here.