video; [locked to everyone except whirl]

[sousveillance]

[ The feed flickers into life at an artistic Dutch angle. Then the camera corrects itself. Rewind flashes his optics in a way that'd read as friendly to other Cybertronians; his visor's carefully arranged into an exaggerated smiling-with-the-eyes expression, for the benefit of the organics who aren't used to reading Cybertronian expressions, especially those of 'bots with faceplates. ]

Hi! I'm Rewind of the Autobots, one of the Cybertronians here on the Moira. We're the big robots. We turn into things.

I have something really important to talk to you all about.

[ The camera swings around to point at a screen. There's a soft whirring noise of a projector and a picture flickers into view on the screen.

It's Whirl. ]

Okay, see him? This is Whirl. He's also an Autobot and a Cybertronian. I want you all to be aware of the following things: one, do not ask him for the time, ever; two, do not stare at or ask about his claw-- his hands. His hands. Or his face. Three. Do not, ever, for the love of all that is sacred to you organics, call him a lamp. Or this will happen.

[ Whirl's picture flickers off the screen, to be replaced by footage of the latest Autobot escapade. Then the camera swings around to focus on Rewind's face again. He contrives to look as obviously disapproving as he can. ]

And that's the best-case scenario. Worst-case scenario? He kills you.

This has been a public service announcement. Thank you all for listening!

Comments

[warandpeace]

He looks like he just passed out!

As much as... I don't know how you work. But someone should check on him.

I don't know how you guys work but stop shooting each other for five seconds and broadcasting your destruction? Please?

[sousveillance]

We've got Ratchet fixing him up. He'll be fine. Ratchet is a miracle worker! Here, I've got footage of him fixing someone whose t-cog was basically a lump of coal, hang on--

[ The camera swings around to the screen on the wall again and Rewind broadcasts footage of an operation in the middle of battle -- the scene takes place in a tent, accompanied by a cacophony of explosions, screams and gunfire. Ratchet is working on a bullet-riddled 'bot who looks, at least to other Cybertronians, like he might turn into a tank.

The camera swings back around to Rewind's face. ]

See? Cyclonus will be fine.

Also, shooting each other is kind of what we do. We just ended a four-million civil war. Old habits die hard.

[ He sounds defensive. ]

[warandpeace]

[Well, that sure is some giant robot war footage he's been shown. Which is still entirely surreal to a man that's been presented with something like Sahelanthropus. He feels sorry for David, for John, that get to be around this happening. Good thing Ahab's not getting burned by it.]

[Hell of a way to aggravate PTSD.]

And I run [ran?] a business dispatching soldiers. Some of my associates are here. If we can avoid shooting each other, you need to, too.

Hell, you suddenly make me glad for cold wars and conflicts that only last for about ten years before someone at least pretends their way into a peace treaty. Maybe what we got back home isn't as bad as I thought.