[video] + 001

[asafepairofhands]

[The feed cuts on to show a Cybertronian with a red and white helm, blue optics, and what appears to be a habitually irritated expression on his face. His voice is brisk and no-nonsense.]

This is Ratchet, former Chief Autobot Medical Officer. I've been assigned here as a field medic, apparently, though I'm volunteering to lend my hand in the medical bay on the ship in my off-time. I have no idea where we are or what happened to get us here, which I can deal with considering everything else that's happened the last year or so, but I really don't like not knowing the effects this "Ingress" [brings bright red hands, chipped in places to reveal specks of blue paint, up to add scarequotes] thing may have had on us, so I want people in for checkups.

Autobots, since there seem to be some of you on the ship, I'm assuming I'm still ranking medical officer here so I'm making that an order--report to Moro deck room 022 earliest. Non-Autobots... I obviously can't order you to do anything, but barring any wild extenuating circumstances you're welcome to drop by for a systems check also. You won't be turned away out of hand.

I specialize in non-organic medicine so if there are any non-Cybertronians on board who fit that bill, I can't promise anything, but I'll take a look. If you're strictly organic, you should probably just hit the regular medibay, but I've got some experience and I won't turn you away if you want to come here instead for whatever reason.

Any current medical officers seeing this, I'd like to talk supplies and if I can get put on rotation--I have a holomatter avatar, same as the others, so I'll fit just fine. Unless any of you expect my field medic duties to take up the majority of my time, in which case I would like a much more thorough briefing on what the fresh hell is going on here.

Ratchet out.

Comments

[asafepairofhands]

I said scan, which means I'll need you actually in here and within arm's length. Don't make me try to drag you into this room, Whirl, I've been kidnapped today and I have fifteen other patients to hunt down and subdue.

[harderfasterwrecker]

[ He takes approximately one step closer.

And continues eyeing Ratchet as he sort of....siiiidles in the room, making irritated noises with his vocalizer the entire time. ]

How long is this going to take.

I hear there's a whole three planets down there of debauchery and it sounds like more fun than here.

[Considering Whirl was basically hanging out in his room until he got the message he's completely just coming up with excuses.]

[asafepairofhands]

You're only making it worse the longer you complain.

[He moves around Whirl and takes scans, nudging one arm up out of the way, brisk and thorough and fearless. He 'hmms' in his vocalizer and steps back once he's done, running through the data.]

No significant changes. Do you feel any different? Besides a more severely pressing need to shoot Tarn's face off, I mean. I just assume it was always on your extended to-do list, but proximity probably jumped it much closer to the top.

[harderfasterwrecker]

[ Whirl lets Ratchet move him around without much fuss, looking more vaguely annoyed at having to stand still than anything else. ]

The entire place is too small. Pretty sure I've knocked my wings on every door. Every. Single. Door.

[Whirl is exaggerating but not by a lot. He's very large and this ship was not meant for someone his size. It's obvious.....Whirl hopes Megatron has knocked his stupid bucket head on the ceiling. Because that's the one good thing about this. He can try and adjust thanks to his legs but he likes to think about Megatron running into ceilings and door frames.]

I don't think there's a door I've been through that I haven't knocked something on.

[asafepairofhands]

It's built for human-sized organics, so I'm not exactly shocked.

[Ratchet finishes fussing and steps back, eyeing Whirl with a critical optic.]

I'm sure you'll find some as-yet-undented areas of the ship to knock against if you go exploring.

[harderfasterwrecker]

I've been exploring.

[Whirl puts a claw on his hip.]

And there are wing shaped knocks in the doors. My room's about the only space big enough.

[He gestures to Ratchet with the other claw.]

So Doc, what's the story. Am I gonna live?

[asafepairofhands]

Yeah, you seem all right. I mean, your readings haven't been altered from any previous baseline scans I've taken, so you seem no worse for wear despite being interdimensionally kidnapped.

[harderfasterwrecker]

I'm bored and my wings hurt.

[like this is the worst thing that ever happened to him.

Ratchet however knows better. But still. He grumbles and points at his wings. ]

Fragging organics.