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[realitywarped]

[She frowns at the camera, all narrowed eyes and a slight hint of irritation, still not entirely over the effects of the euxo. Those who've seen Loki around before will recognise the horns, the armour, and the scar under her left eye as identical to the teenage boy version.]

New people, I see. Is this influx going to be a regular occurrence, I wonder? Are we in fact not expected to crew the entire ship with a handful of people of varying competency?

[She folds her arms and tilts her head slightly to one side.]

But on a more important note, a question: can any of you cook? And I don't mean putting pizza in the oven, although if you can magic pizza up I might be inclined to like you. I haven't had pizza for more than a year, now. I'm feeling rather deprived. But no, I meant the ability to produce edible meals from more-or-less raw ingredients.

[She purses her lips, and adds, almost as an afterthought-]

Ah. And unless you want to see something you most likely don't want to see, stay out of my kitchens Sunday evenings, yes?

Comments

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[a_shadow]

If you're going to be doing something weird in the kitchen on Sunday night maybe you should let the people who are going to be on shift with you know the details.

[realitywarped]

I've not had much need of help Sundays for the last month, and now you have a legally free shift, you might as well take it. I'd rather like a night to myself to actually cook without worrying about anyone else causing a disaster.

[a_shadow]

If I cared enough to be insulted I might argue with you. Just don't do anything obscene to the food.

[realitywarped]

Now I'm insulted. What exactly do you think I'd do to food I have to work with?

[a_shadow]

All I know is the way you worded your original message. What do you expect people to think when you say something like that?

[realitywarped]

Exactly what you thought, of course. That's the whole point of it.]

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[noassgardian]

[Nope, he's totally used to the girl look by now so it doesn't really bother him when he pops on the video.]

If I magic you up a pizza, what do I get in return? You already like me.

[Oh, god... Loki. This is his 'Don't give people the wrong idea!!!' look.]

Why do you have to say it like that?

[realitywarped]

Make it a bacon-y pizza and I'll watch the Sound of Music with you.

[Bribery is the only way she's ever watching that movie, after all.

She grins, all sharp teeth and amusement. What is the wrong idea to give people, Billy?]

It's more likely to work than "please stay out of my kitchen, Sunday night is talking with Billy night", isn't it?

[noassgardian]

I would've been happy with a kiss you know, but now it's a challenge I really have to accept.

[You better watch it with him, Loki.]

Except if it makes people think we're doing obscene things around their food.

[realitywarped]

[She shrugs, looking slyly at Billy from the corner of her eyes.]

Extra bacon, or I'm not paying up.

[Loki cheats, but- well, she supposes she can watch the movie this once, if it will keep Billy entertained.]

Oh, we're not? Now I'm disappointed.

[noassgardian]

That wasn't part of the deal. If there's bacon on the pizza, you're paying up!

[Don't think he's that easy, Loki.]

Loki! You're awful.

[realitywarped]

[She rolls her eyes and huffs, but she's smiling around the edges.]

Very well. One pizza, real bacon included, and I'll sit and watch your movie with you.

[Loki waves her hand, lets her smile slide to something rather more wicked.]

Yes, hello! Have we met? I'm Loki.

[noassgardian]

Fine. I'll see what I can do Sunday.

[He snorts, rolling his eyes.]

Good luck getting that something obscene, Loki, especially in a kitchen of all places. Not the biggest mood setter.

[realitywarped]

So sure of that? Think of all those counters at the perfect height, Billy.

[She really does grin at that, not at all embarrassed by the rather tame by her standards suggestion.]

Besides, mood is mostly a matter of what you choose to make it. A few candles, a little music, some food of the soft and smearable kind, I'm sure we can make something up.

[She giggles, though, spoiling the effect.]

But fine, if you want to be boring, we'll just talk.

[noassgardian]

Ew, take out the smearable food and maybe I'd actually think about it one day.

[Loki, really. He doesn't want to be sticky and gross with food. He shakes his head at the giggling, lips quirking up a bit.]

Well, there can be some kissing too.

[realitywarped]

It wouldn't be on for very long, Billy, trust me.

[she smirks, eyebrow up. She probably shouldn't flirt with Billy so much in this shape, but it's habitual now.]

Kissing I can live with. People probably don't want to see that either, though.

[noassgardian]

[He rolls his eyes at that. He's gotten used to Loki sometimes being a girl by now -- and though he's not really physically attracted to the opposite sex, it's still Loki. He doesn't mind the flirting all that much.

And it probably shows int he way his lips quirk up into a slight smile anyway.]

We're not doing it in front of them at least...

[realitywarped]

I rather thought you might prefer otherwise, yes.

[She smiles back at Billy, almost unnoticeably softer than it would be for anyone else.]

Date night, yes? Not much of a date night, but I'm reasonably sure it's supposed to be a mortal custom.

[noassgardian]

Date night sounds good, yeah. Especially if I get to pick at whatever you're going to be cooking.

[realitywarped]

I rather thought I might make us separate dinner, if you wanted. Might as well abuse my privileges, yes?

[She shrugs, cheerful.]

Like old times, in fact.

[noassgardian]

Sounds good. I mean, if you're not going to get in trouble for it.

[But dinner, talking, other things... it sounded like a nice night to him.]

[realitywarped]

Being in trouble is what I do, Billy. At least let it be in a good cause for once, yes?

[It sounds like a nice night for her, too. She misses nice nights.]

[noassgardian]

Okay, Loki.

I'll see you Sunday night, I guess?

[realitywarped]

Or before. Before is also perfectly fine.

[She does try not to sound overly hopeful, though.]

[noassgardian]

We'll see each other before, I'm sure.

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[commontype]

what's happenin in the kitchens sunday nights?

[realitywarped]

I may get to spend some time with Billy, if I can get people to actually let me have a little privacy for once. For such an apparently large ship, hiding places are very few and far between.

[commontype]

Billy. Ah, yeah. That makes sense.

So.. Loki. Why you's a woman? I mean, don't get me wrong. You're well fit, but why?

[realitywarped]

Work on Billy a little more, and perhaps you can join us sometimes ;-)

I am one. Sometimes. Why, is it a problem?

[commontype]

i wouldn't wanna interrupt date night, but.. if billy ever decides it's okay, count me in.

no, just didn't know you could turn into a beautiful lady.

[realitywarped]

Oh I will, believe me.

I can turn into anything I am. I suspect beautiful is pushing it, but- don't let me stop you, Eggsy, if you're set on compliments ;-)

[commontype]

you think beautiful is pushin' it?

[Did nobody have mirrors around here? Did nobody use them? Eggsy wasn't always practical, and sure, he could find attractive qualities in a lot of people, but, fuck. He'd yet to meet one person here who wasn't good looking.]

tbh, i can't decide which version of you i like better. maybe male you cause i met him first.

[realitywarped]

[Growing up dark and slight around people whose idea of beauty is tall blonde and very well defined does tend to provide a bit of a complex relationship with one's face, alas.]

Just a teensy bit of an exaggeration, I feel.

You know, that's not the answer I expected, but if you really prefer it that way, I'll bear it in mind.

[commontype]

[Maybe Eggsy's got a thing for dark-haired fellas. He's never really thought that he has one type, but he defintiely likes the way Loki looks.]

nah, like you can do whatever you feel comfortable with. that's what i'd prefer.

i just meant i met him first, but girl-you is still you, so idc.

[realitywarped]

I tend to be male most of the time, honestly. It's how I was raised, it's what people expect me to be, and it's what Billy prefers. Sometimes it's amusing to mess with expectations, though >:-D

That said, thank you.

[commontype]

hey, no problem, yeah? just lettin' ya know i think you're proper fit either way. i'd just have to get used to lady you.

you're the god of mischief, i'd imagine you'd like to mess with people.

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[petrifiedshadow]

I have a number of questions, it might be best if I just list them here.

1. Is cooking really that necessary? It's way more efficient to just eat the food raw.
2. What if we do not have a choice about being in the kitchen sunday evening? I'm assigned to work in the kitchen all the time, I am assuming that means I will have to be there.
3. What is pizza?

[realitywarped]

1) Efficient, but unpalatable to a large majority of the crew, including myself. Cooking releases the flavours, and makes things much safer for the fragile human digestive system.

2) I'm the head cook, so if I say you don't have to be there, you don't have to be there.

3) ...Your education needs work, clearly :-|

[petrifiedshadow]

I knew humans were delicate, but I didn't realize they couldn't even eat raw meat! I wondered why the scrolls always mentioned humans having fires at their dens. Aside from light, I guess they can't see well in the dark either?

Sorry, I'm new and didn't realize you were the head cook. We'll probably be working together a lot then, my job title is Assistant Chef.

I know I have a lot to learn about the Moira, and humans, and all the different people on board. That's why I'm asking questions, like what are those symbols are at the end of your message? Is it some sort of problem with your MID?

[Video]

[ltcolerrandboy]

As long as 'edible' is the only requirement, then yes. Edible, from scratch, with few resources, yes. Now, give me a grill and then I can really dazzle you. Is that satisfactory, Ma'am?

[Yes, hi. Meet one of the noobs. At least he won't give you as much of a headache as the Starks.]

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[seeingscarlet]

[Pizza? Really? You'd think this is the hostel again.]

Pizza is not hard if you have the ingredients.

[realitywarped]

[She is a teenager, these days, and her first acquaintances in this form were very bad influences.]

Ah, but I don't want to make it. I want terribly greasy takeout pizza, pre-cooked, no effort from me at all.

[seeingscarlet]

[It definitely conjures a vivid image. Wanda is suddenly acutely aware that she hasn't had pizza in over a year, either. Mission accomplished?]

You're terrible. Now I want pizza, too.

[This is the long-suffering sigh of the twin who was actually patient enough to figure out that cooking thing and got asked to make it all the time. You'd almost think it was a food group.]

I can make it if you find someone else to do the dishes.

[realitywarped]

[Mission very accomplished.]

Terrible is one of my many titles, I'm fairly sure.

[He smiles, bright and sharp, pleased and showing it.]

I have any number of people who can't do much more in the kitchens than washing up, don't worry about that.

[seeingscarlet]

Maybe you should add "pizza lady."

[She hasn't put it together yet. The scar and the fact that he is currently a she are really throwing Wanda off.]

Two pizzas should not make a lot of dishes at least. [This isn't amateur hour; Wanda knows you can't just make one. Nothing draws the starving hordes like the smell of fresh pizza.] Unless we are all having pizza for dinner.