video;

[heliakal]

[ Clark appears on screen wearing a recently acquired pair of glasses from the marketplace. He looks like a buff nerd irritated and uncertain. ]

I think something was delivered to me by mistake. [ He angles the camera so the fuzzy little bonsai tree in front of him is clearly visible. The leaves are covered in fur, it's actually sort of cute but... That tiny meowing sound? That's coming from the tree.

More specifically, from the little seed pods that contain live kittens. ]

If it belongs to anyone, I'll be happy to return it. [ Said mildly. He doesn't know yet if this is an alien species or something more deliberate, but he's trying very hard to give it the benefit of a doubt here. ]

In the meantime... Does anyone know what this is, exactly? Or how to take care of it?

Comments

[whatdidisay]

If I was Cetagandan, maybe. I'm not. They've probably done something to it that makes it shrivel up and die if a Barrayaran touched it, anyway.

[heliakal]

You figured out that you shouldn't try to separate the pods. I'm sure you can sort out the rest.

[whatdidisay]

And what a hands-on learning experience that was. ( he mutters, although it's not the same growl he gave his cousin. ivan can't believe two people are trying to get him to come fetch it! it's not fair, it's not his fault, he had nothing to do with this! ) I don't want it. I'd say ask Miles if he trusts me with something like this, but he'd lie just to watch me squirm.

( why are the only two people from his world here the sort of people who'd sell him out at a moment's notice when it comes to something like this? gregor'd just look at him and say let's see what happens and that'd be that. ugh. )

[heliakal]

[ Clark can make an educated guess at exactly what kind of hands-on experience Ivan is talking about. At a glance, extracting the kittens looks simple enough... Unfortunately, their circulatory systems seem to be routed through the tree itself.

He can see why learning that the hard way might cause even more unwanted memories of the thing, but he doesn't really have much of a choice at this point. ]

I would take care of it if I could, but you and your cousin know a lot more about this than I do. That, and my roommate is threatening to euthanize it.

[ Clark grimaces. He could go to bat with Bucky over this, but he really doesn't want to get into any fights on the ship. ]

Look -- if you can just hold on to it for a few days, I'm sure we can figure out what to do with it. I'll help however I can.

[ He isn't really the manipulative sort - he means what he says. These are genuine puppy dog eyes. ] Please, Ivan.

[whatdidisay]

( ivan winces at the implications of various forms of death one can do to a rather small tree on a spaceship. his cousin had been working on him near simultaneously, who has working knowledge of ivan's oft-overlooked bleeding heart. he can't believe he's being double-teamed about this, it's not his fault that this thing showed up! has he mentioned that? he's pretty sure he has.

but ivan buckles at the please. clark might not be a pretty woman, but the kittens are personal and miles would never let him live it down if they ended up dead in someone's charge. )

A few days. ( he relents, looking put out about the entire damn thing ) That's it.

[heliakal]

Thank you. You're a good man, Ivan. [ Okay, so maybe he's leaning on Ivan's bleeding heart just a little. ]

I'll drop it off for you for now and check around the market first thing in the morning. According to your cousin, it may not last very long anyway...

[whatdidisay]

Yeah, yeah. ( he waves away the compliment ) Miles always had a black sense of humor. Comes with being him, I guess.

[heliakal]

Come on Ivan, it's not that bad. There are probably worse ways he could show his affection.

[whatdidisay]

There are better ways he could. Like leaving me alone.

[heliakal]

Where's the fun in that?

[whatdidisay]

I like fun, just not his kind of fun.

( because you end up as collateral damage that way. )

[heliakal]

[ Well being kidnapped probably puts a damper on things... ]

What kind of fun do you like?

[whatdidisay]

Women? ( wow, ivan, way to make an impression. ) Going out with my friends for a drink after a shift in Ops Hq. The nightlife of Vorbarr Sultana.

Normal things. Things that aren't going to kill me.

( probably. knowing barrayar, that's not saying much. )

[heliakal]

Well, if it's any comfort, I doubt he'll be getting you into the same kind of trouble out here...

[ So far, things have been peaceful. Clark is trying to be optimistic here. ]

And Ivan? Women aren't a hobby. I hope for your sake that you've been treating them with respect.

[whatdidisay]

Then you don't know Miles. Trust me, if there's a will there's a way with him. And probably when there's neither.

( someone, eventually, will tell someone else that the old folk tale about getting rid of an unwanted suitor by assigning them three impossible tasks should never be applied to miles vorkosigan. it's fucking true. )

My mother would skin me alive if she thought otherwise. Or throw me to Uncle Aral, like she used to.

( is this a lecture? this is.. odd. )