Video

[tearmeanewone]

[When the feed starts, Elizabeth is right in the center of the frame, dressed in her uniform, giving off a very formal but pleasant attitude. She practiced this. Several times.]

Good morning, everyone. For those of you who I haven't met yet, my name is Elizabeth DeWitt, head librarian. Recently, I was promoted by our captains to the position of First Mate, meaning I have taken on additional responsibilities to the crew aside from encouraging everyone to visit the library and make use of the collection. [Little plug there, forgive her.]

As First Mate, I'll be acting as a liaison between the crew and the captains, should anyone have an issue they would feel more comfortable speaking to me about, or if the captains are off ship. Once I've moved in, my quarters will be located in Section M and I encourage anyone to find me there or at the library if you need me.

...I realize not all of us are happy to find ourselves here, however I am one of the potentially few who very easily call this ship my home. Whatever can be done to make things more efficient, safe, or comfortable, I want to discuss it. But, at the same time, if you just want a reading recommendation and some hot chocolate, I can provide that as well.

[She nods, clearly satisfied with the message and smiles, looking a little relieved that she got through the spiel without embarrassing herself.] I think that about wraps it up, but if there's anything else please feel free to message me. Thank you!

Comments

[ersatzeverything]

[He's guessing from that expression that she's doubting his bullshit (and he respects her for it). And he knows that he ought to be put off by the idea of having his perfectly good eyes pulled out and replaced with tech. It's kinda gross. But mostly all he's thinking is:]

Do they do faces, too?

[He's been really wanting to change his face again lately.]

[tearmeanewone]

[...well damn, he called her bluff (and she respects him for it, honestly).]

...you want a robotic face?

[That's the confusing part.]

[ersatzeverything]

Sure! It'd be fun. [He's not even joking, but knows it sounds outrageous enough that some people might think it's a joke.] Maybe wear it around for a couple months, make a fashion statement, then trade it out for something more sensible. What do you think of Roman noses?

[tearmeanewone]

[...wow he really sounds like he's not joking.]

...I'm assuming you're from a timeline where people change their faces regularly. Eh, I don't know, they've never really held much appeal for me personally, but if that's the kind of aesthetic you'd like...

[ersatzeverything]

I wouldn't say regularly. But it's a thing people do, yeah. ["People" being him. Doctors who can do the procedure are rare, and most people who have it done only do it once, to hide from a past they're trying to escape. Everyone back home thinks it's creepy, him changing his face on a whim all the time.]

I've never had a Roman nose. It'd be a change.

[tearmeanewone]

Huh. Well, to each his own, I guess. [Steinman in Rapture had been doing some... interesting things with surgery, insisting on perfection and symmetry and all that unrealistic insanity. It's definitely not something she'd consider, but if someone wanted to do that to themselves, who was she to say they couldn't?]

[...just maybe find another doctor besides Steinman.]

You'd probably need some high cheekbones to match.

[ersatzeverything]

Good call on the cheekbones. Done right, that could look pretty dignified...yeah... I'd need new hair to go with it, but that's easy.

[tearmeanewone]

Tell me you're not going to replace your scalp, dye works just fine.

[ersatzeverything]

I'm not going to replace my scalp.

[He pulls off the pompadour. Whether he wears it over his shaved head or not is determined mostly by whim anyway.]

Just replacing the wig is waaaay easier.

[tearmeanewone]

Woah! [Elizabeth is visibly surprised by that, and kind of intrigued and delighted.] That is a good wig. I couldn't tell at all until you did that!

[ersatzeverything]

[Deacon is pleased to have surprised her. And intrigued by the fact that she's more curious than annoyed. Not everyone is a fan of his neuroses personality quirks, so he appreciates it when someone is willing to put up with his games.]

It wouldn't be fun if it were obvious.

I always meant to try to find more than one. But if I've gotta be restricted to only one hair style, this is a good one.

So are you from before the War? [She's far too clean and too classy to be from his era.]

[tearmeanewone]

It does have some class, I'll give it that. Obviously a very different style than... bald... so you have two different looks to telegraph.

Which war? The Great War? World War II? The Cold War? [There are many where she's from.]

[ersatzeverything]

I like to switch up my style. ["Like" is an understatement. "Compulsively need" is closer.]

It's the capital "w" War. The one in 2077, with nuclear weapons.

[tearmeanewone]

Ah, before, then. 1959. [Just over a hundred years ago, no big deal.]

[...if they're only counting the year she came from and not where she started-- which would be 1912.]

Hm. So the Manhattan Project finally had it's big day. Dozens of pocketbooks rejoice.

[ersatzeverything]

Yeah, while they were building the bombs maybe. Then they actually used them and the banks burned, civilization collapsed, and Old World money became kind of obsolete.

It was a lot of nukes.

[tearmeanewone]

...how ironic. [Yes, there's a flat little chuckle in there.] So what do you use for money now?

[ersatzeverything]

Bottlecaps.

[He takes one out of his pocket to show her. Just an ordinary red bottlecap with the words "Nuka-Cola" in white letters.]

People will kill for these.

[tearmeanewone]

...bottlecaps. [Huh.]

Well, I guess it doesn't really matter what it is, as long as people recognize it as currency. That's helped us a lot trading with other planets-- can you imagine trying to get your currency exchanged every month?

[ersatzeverything]

It's definitely easier trading in caps than trying to trade in, like, brahmin cows. Can you imagine trying to keep brahmin in your pocket? You wouldn't be able to fit very fucking many in there, that's for sure.

A lot of times people skip the currency altogether and just trade goods directly. I'm guessing that that's what you get a lot of around here, too, us all travelling around all the time and everyone from different universes. It's a pain in the ass sometimes, haggling over how many cans of beans a pack of ammo is worth, but hey, commerce. Nothing keeps it down.

[tearmeanewone]

[She laughs at the image of trying to keep cows in her pocket.] Yeah I'm sure I could only keep two, maybe two and a half cows in my pocket.

That's true, everybody needs something. Though you should have been in the place I grew up-- people threw away ammunition into trash cans.

[Believe it or not.]

[ersatzeverything]

Jesus, have they got ammo growing on trees there?

[Ammunition is a rare and precious commodity where he comes from. You might trade it if the ammo you found doesn't fit the gun you prefer, but like hell would you just toss it.]

And God help you if someone throws a lit cigarette away.

[tearmeanewone]

And in every desk drawer and baby carriage.

[Yes, ammunition and weaponry is probably Columbia's second or third industry behind food and propaganda, if the amount of things that were just laying around was any indication.]

I would think that if any industry would rebound after the end of the world, it would be the vices first-- alcohol and tobacco. But no such luck?

[ersatzeverything]

Alcohol, totally. People sell booze all over, both Old World leftovers and freshly brewed. The world ending made everyone totally in need of a drink or ten. And cigarettes are pretty easy to scavenge. But the real big vice industries are more hard core than that. Drugs like Jet, Psycho, Buffout. And the oldest profession in the world is still going strong.

[tearmeanewone]

Dare I ask what "Jet", "Psycho", and "Buffout" do?

[Because they sound suspiciously like vigors.]

[ersatzeverything]

When you're on Jet, it's like your brain and body are in overdrive. Time seems to slow down, or you feel like you move faster, or something, like you can do so much more than you usually can. Super dangerous, super addictive. Buffout does...pretty much what it says on the jar. Steroids, makes you buff, can also make your heart stop. And Psycho, fuck, Psycho makes you feel powerful, invincible, like nothing in the wasteland can touch you, like you aren't just some pathetic and weak person in a fucked up world. It also makes you feel like murdering everything in sight. And it makes you agitated and makes your gums bleeds, so, you know, that's attractive.